Sexual Addiction Recovery

by

April 2017

carry-the-messageThe purpose of our Intergroup is to more effectively reach the sex addict in the Orange County area who still suffers.  We meet the second Wednesday of each month from 7pm-8:30 p.m. at Lighthouse Church, 1885 Anaheim Ave., Costa Mesa CA 92627, in the Sanctuary.  All SAA members are welcome to participate.  If you can’t make it, meeting minutes are published on our website.  We want your ideas!

Fellowship and the OCI Intergroup

The OCI Intergroup keeps us running smoothly all year and presents the retreats which provide recovery tools, hope and fellowship during the year.n Intergroup also helps track meeting locations and keeps the website up to ensure we reach the sex addict who still suffers and allow those in recovery to maintain their goals. You can also find ways to provide service in roles like the Chair and Vice Chair and for those with tech savviness, DigiComm coordinator or assistants. Reach out to the sex addict who still suffers and help them to find recovery. Speak with others and come to a meeting. We are not alone and we all suffer. One day at a time will get us there. Intergroup meets the second Wednesday of each month from 7pm-8:30 p.m. at Lighthouse Church, 1885 Anaheim Ave., Costa Mesa CA 92627, in the Sanctuary.

 * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

My Share

Each month, we publish a personal but anonymous story of recovery.  It can be either an autobiography or about a subject important to your recovery.  Stories should be written in the first person (“I”) and speak from your experience, strength, and hope.  Please submit your story to ocisaa.newsletter@gmail.com.  We may edit submissions for reasons of space, clarity, and appropriate language.  Here is this month’s story:

 Who I Am

 

Who Am I? I am a fighter, a communicator, a provider, a teacher, a listener, a friend, a lover, a rock, a human being…yet I walk into a room and say, “I’m (insert name here) and I’m a sex addict. Where did that come from??!

“It” came from the strength and support of all of you. To utter those seven words seems easy yet emotionally, they are draining. Once we made that statement and listened to others, we realized we were not alone. We found ourselves becoming more and more willing to say those words and they became a part of us.

So am I a sex addict? Yes but it does not define me. I awn aware of my disease and the work to be done and accept it as a part of my life. That part shaped me and led me on a journey that was guided by my higher power. Now I reflect on it and grow as a human being to be a fighter, a communicator, a provider, a teacher, a listener, a friend, a lover, a rock…a recovered soul.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

2016 Updates

Website Traffic

Our overall website has increased from just 6,520 views in 2013 to 17,755 views in 2016! We are reaching more and more sex addicts. 3,310 views to our meetings page in 2016 which almost double from 2013 which had 1,773 views. The 6,644 number for 2016 under “Am I a sex addict” rose tremendously, no doubt due to our Google Adword outreach campaign! Our Google Adwords for 2015 resulted in 176,710 responses.

Survey 

Please let us know of ways to improve our efforts to reach the sex addict who still suffers.

– 152 people took the survey with 146 males and 5 females responding
–   16 people found SAA through acting out, while 94 found us while looking
for help which is up 17% from last year.
–   49 came to us from therapists up 5% from 2014.
–   Referrals were down 6% with 33 being referred.

What kept most coming back was a connection to a share, hearing someone else’s story with 80 responses. We know the power of hearing others going through the same thing we are. Hearing the similar despair and longing for a better path. 27 came back because they were greeted…very important because we all understand that it is a huge step to just walk in to a meeting of strangers and utter those three words for the first time.

The most most popular meeting formats (in order of most popular to least popular) were shares-106, speaker-52, book study-48, step study-47, mixed-23, meditation-17 and other-14.

Thank you to everyone who participated and provided data for the survey and a big thank you to everyone involved in getting this survey out to everyone and compiling the results. If you have questions please let us know.

Retaining Newcomers

As always, we want to reach out and retain newcomers since most of us know that abstinence and sobriety is better maintained out of isolation and in the fellowship of others.  Please consider ways to retain newcomers and ensure they feel welcome as I know we all do.

April 2017 Stats

Website Traffic

In April on our website, http://www.ocisaa.org, we had 2,009 views and 1,226 visitors actively looking through the site and primarily clicking on the “Am I a sex addict” link and using the meeting location tab.  We are reaching the sex addict who still suffers overseas as well with clicks from numerous countries.  Our website is a valuable for those in recovery as well as those seeking recovery.

Internet Keyword Search Optimization

Our internet keyword search continues to be successful.  The clicks are visits to our page. This endeavor has had a large impact on reaching the sex addict who still suffers.

We will also be adding word search terms for women who are suffering from this addiction. We have received several contacts from women through the adword project.

Craigslist

The responses continue to ads we placed for SAA on the Orange County Craigslist website.  Sex addicts going there to act out are being presented with an opportunity for recovery, and for some of them, it’s working! 1767 1078

 * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Announcements & News Notes

The OC Intergroup meeting day has changed. OC Intergroup now meets the 2nd Wednesday of each month at 7pm at the same location, Lighthouse Church Costa Mesa in the Sanctuary.

Costa Mesa Noon Meetings

We have found a new location for the Costa Mesa Noon Meetings…
Orange Coast Unitarian Universalist Church located at:
2845 Mesa Verde Dr. East – Suite 4
Costa Mesa, CA 92626

  • They are also looking for speakers for Monday meetings to speak for 15 minutes on how they found recovery. Requires 6 months or more of sobriety to speak. Contact Lee at (714)318-8932 if interested.

A Message for Sponsors

We suggest you consider stressing to your sponsees the importance of service work such as volunteering for positions at their meetings.  Early in recovery, service work gives recovering sex addicts something to feel good about when they need it most.  Later on, it becomes Step 12 work, a very healthy activity and again a builder of self-esteem.  Some sponsors we know feel so strongly about it that they advise their sponsees either to fill a service position or find another sponsor!

Intergroup Vacancies

Our Intergroup elections are coming up in November. All positions except the Chair positions are up for election. These are great opportunities to be of service, and they generally require little or no special expertise.

► The Vice Chair works with the Chair to coordinate the Intergroup’s overall activities such as preparing the monthly agenda and helping with surveys.  It’s estimated that Vice Chair duties take about 2-4 hours per month, plus the monthly Intergroup meeting.

► The Vice Treasurer works with the Treasurer to manage Intergroup funds.  The duties generally occupy minimal time – just an hour most months.  Attendance at the monthly Intergroup meeting is encouraged.  This position requires one year of abstinence.

► Digi Com Chair is responsible for maintaining the website and generally requires 2-4 hours each month. Attendance at the monthly Intergroup meeting is encouraged.

►  We are looking for people with website experience of any kind, including those who are willing to learn.

Thanks for Your Donations!

We are grateful for the support we receive from the Orange County area SAA meetings.  As you can see from our activities listed in this newsletter, we are putting your donations to good use.  We encourage you to attend our monthly meetings and voice your ideas.

A Note to Event Promoters and Organizers: For those requesting announcements to run in our newsletter, please use the following format – and order – as much as possible:

Who: Are you a committee (of the Intergroup, for example), or an individual SAA meeting group, or another type of organization or individual?
What: Is this a workshop, breakfast, retreat, or another type of event?
Title: What is the name of your event?
When: Give the date and starting and ending times of your event.
Cost: What – if anything – is the suggested contribution, or is it a set fee, or is no one turned away for lack of funds?
Description: In a sentence, or several sentences, say what is unique or especially appealing about your event.
Where: Event address, along with any cross-street info or parking tips you think are important.
More Info: Whom to call for more information?  List a telephone number, email address, and/or website.
Please give us as much lead time as possible, and note that submissions are subject to editing for clarity and space.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

SAA Meeting News

New Meetings:

Costa Mesa (NEW LOCATION Effective Aug. 3th 2015 – formerly at First Methodist Church of Costa Mesa):  

Monday, 7:30 – 9:00 pm
Men Only/Closed/Book Study
Costa Mesa Church of Christ, 287 W. Wilson Street, Costa Mesa, CA 92627
Directions:  Between Harbor Blvd. & Fairview Ave.
For more information call 949-478-5617

Corona Del Mar (NEW LOCATION Effective Aug. 5th 2015 – formerly at First Methodist Church of Costa Mesa):
Wednesday, 7:30 – 9:00 pm
Mixed/Closed/Book Study/Share
St. Michael & All Angels’ Episcopal  Church, 3233 Pacific View Drive, Corona Del Mar, CA 92625 (South Wing Room attached to Church – Enter thru Patio on the Right)
Directions: to be added to website soon! For more information call (949) 636-1917

Wednesday, 12:00 – 1:00 pm
Men only/Closed
Pines Park, 34941 Camino Capistrano, CA 92624
Directions: From the 5 Freeway head south on Camino De Estrella towards Coast Highway, turn right on to Camino Capistrano. Parking will be on the street on Camino Capistrano…….the meeting is held at the upper Park at the south end.
For more information call (949) 547-4498.

Wednesday, 5:00-6:00pm
Closed, men only
1900 E. 4th St., Conference Room 2A, Santa Ana 92705
Free parking in structure
Contact Frank P. (949) 842-3454

Thursday, 7:00-8:00 p.m.
Closed, men only
707 E. Chapman, Orange 92866
Building is close to Orange Traffic Circle, white with green trim, no suite number; parking lot adjacent to building
Contact Chris B. (949) 278-3642

Changes:

***Not NUTS Meeting Update!!
Moving to Church of Christ on Wed. nights from 7pm-8:30pm in the Family Room. Bill P is the contact.

***The Monday evening women’s book study meeting has relocated. The meeting time is 6:30pm-7:30pm in Huntington Beach.  Please call 657-215-1252 or email saawomensgroup@gmail.com for more details.

The Monday and Friday Long Beach meetings are no longer at Kaiser Permanente, 3900 E. Pacific Coast Hwy., Long Beach.  The new meeting times and locations are:
—Monday, 7:30-8:30 pm, Mixed/Closed/Step/Tradition/Topic
Unitarian Church, 5450 Atherton St., Long Beach (just West of Bellflower Blvd.), in the Chalice Room
Contact Carole B., 562-841-4348, or e-mail CAROLEMARY@NETZERO.COM
—Friday, 6:30-7:30 pm, Mixed/Closed/Step/Tradition/Topic
Unitarian Church, 5450 Atherton St., Long Beach (just West of Bellflower Blvd.), in the Chalice Room
Contact Carole B., 562-841-4348, or e-mail CAROLEMARY@NETZERO.COM

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Orange County Intergroup Officers and Committee Chairs

Our leaders are but trusted servants; they do not govern. — Tradition 2

Chair: Frank S., ocisaa.chair@gmail.com
Vice Chair: Vacant, ocisaa.vicechair@gmail.com
Digital Communications: Neal B., ocisaa.digicom1@gmail.com (Assistant: Reza B., ocisaa.digicom2@gmail.com)
Inreach: Frank, ocisaa.inreach@gmail.com
Outreach: Maurice B., ocisaa.outreach@gmail.com
Literature: Ron C., ocisaa.literature@gmail.com
Treasurer: Phil G. (Vice Treasurer: Vacant), ocisaa.treasurer@gmail.com
Secretary: Steve W., ocisaa.secretary@gmail.com
Newsletter Editor:  Mark D., ocisaa.newsletter@gmail.com
Parliamentarian: Vacant

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Website

If you have ideas or suggestions for the website, please contact our Webmaster, Neal B., at ocisaa.digicom1@gmail.com.

by

October 2015

carry-the-messageThe purpose of our Intergroup is to more effectively reach the sex addict in the Orange County area who still suffers.  We meet the second Wednesday of each month from 7pm-8:30 p.m. at Lighthouse Church, 1885 Anaheim Ave., Costa Mesa CA 92627, in the Sanctuary.  All SAA members are welcome to participate.  If you can’t make it, meeting minutes are published on our website.  We want your ideas!

Intergroup

As we continue on our own path to sobriety and serenity we often look for ways to serve. As we approach the holidays finding ways to be of service may be very easy with family get togethers and selecting gifts  or just helping someone in need. Being an intergroup representative for your meeting also can be a huge service to your meeting and helps ensure ideas and thoughts are being brought from each of the groups so we can continue to help the sex addict who still suffers. Consider serving others and be an intergroup representative  for your group. Intergroup meets the second Wednesday of each month from 7pm-8:30 p.m. at Lighthouse Church, 1885 Anaheim Ave., Costa Mesa CA 92627, in the Sanctuary.

 * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

My Share

Each month, we publish a personal but anonymous story of recovery.  It can be either an autobiography or about a subject important to your recovery.  Stories should be written in the first person (“I”) and speak from your experience, strength, and hope.  Please submit your story to ocisaa.newsletter@gmail.com.  We may edit submissions for reasons of space, clarity, and appropriate language.  Here is this month’s story:

 The Man in the Arena

“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.” – Theodore Roosevelt

A strong and powerful thought…we are in the arena, we are marred by dust and blood and sweat. We dare greatly to better ourselves and our lives. We stand up to our addiction as we step into the arena. We learn from our fails and we relish in our triumphs and strive to keep moving forward and away from shame.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Intergroup Project Updates

Survey 

Please let us know of ways to improve our efforts to reach the sex addict who still suffers.

– 152 people took the survey with 146 males and 5 females responding
–   16 people found SAA through acting out, while 94 found us while looking
for help which is up 17% from last year.
–   49 came to us from therapists up 5% from 2014.
–   Referrals were down 6% with 33 being referred.

What kept most coming back was a connection to a share, hearing someone else’s story with 80 responses. We know the power of hearing others going through the same thing we are. Hearing the similar despair and longing for a better path. 27 came back because they were greeted…very important because we all understand that it is a huge step to just walk in to a meeting of strangers and utter those three words for the first time.

The most most popular meeting formats (in order of most popular to least popular) were shares-106, speaker-52, book study-48, step study-47, mixed-23, meditation-17 and other-14.

Thank you to everyone who participated and provided data for the survey and a big thank you to everyone involved in getting this survey out to everyone and compiling the results. If you have questions please let us know.

Retaining Newcomers

As always, we want to reach out and retain newcomers since most of us know that abstinence and sobriety is better maintained out of isolation and in the fellowship of others.  Please consider ways to retain newcomers and ensure they feel welcome as I know we all do.

Website Traffic

We continue to receive visitors to our website, http://www.ocisaa.org, with 1,621 views and 949 people visited and actively looking through the site and primarily using the meeting location tab.   Our website is a valuable for those in recovery as well as those seeking recovery.

Internet Keyword Search Optimization

Our internet keyword search continues to be successful.  In September 2016, we had 530 clicks and 16,202 impressions, which is a chance for people to our site. As a result of this endeavor we are reaching a new audience which is great.  This is continuing to be a worthwhile venture and it brings the sex addict who still suffers to our page, hopefully meetings and most importantly to recovery.

To date (since June 2015) we have had 276,861 impressions and 6,390 clicks. The impressions are what pops up when someone types in keywords that we have added to Google Adwords. The clicks are visits to our page. This endeavor has had a large impact on reaching the sex addict who still suffers.

We will also be adding word search terms for women who are suffering from this addiction. We have received several contacts from women through the adword project.

Craigslist

The responses continue to ads we placed for SAA on the Orange County Craigslist website.  Sex addicts going there to act out are being presented with an opportunity for recovery, and for some of them, it’s working!

 * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Announcements & News Notes

The OC Intergroup meeting day has changed. OC Intergroup now meets the 2nd Wednesday of each month at 7pm at the same location, Lighthouse Church Costa Mesa in the Sanctuary.

Costa Mesa Noon Meetings

We have found a new location for the Costa Mesa Noon Meetings…
Orange Coast Unitarian Universalist Church located at:
2845 Mesa Verde Dr. East – Suite 4
Costa Mesa, CA 92626

  • They are also looking for speakers for Monday meetings to speak for 15 minutes on how they found recovery. Requires 6 months or more of sobriety to speak. Contact Lee at (714)318-8932 if interested.

A Message for Sponsors

We suggest you consider stressing to your sponsees the importance of service work such as volunteering for positions at their meetings.  Early in recovery, service work gives recovering sex addicts something to feel good about when they need it most.  Later on, it becomes Step 12 work, a very healthy activity and again a builder of self-esteem.  Some sponsors we know feel so strongly about it that they advise their sponsees either to fill a service position or find another sponsor!

Intergroup Vacancies

Our Intergroup elections are coming up in November. All positions except the Chair positions are up for election. These are great opportunities to be of service, and they generally require little or no special expertise.

► The Vice Chair works with the Chair to coordinate the Intergroup’s overall activities such as preparing the monthly agenda and helping with surveys.  It’s estimated that Vice Chair duties take about 2-4 hours per month, plus the monthly Intergroup meeting.

► The Vice Treasurer works with the Treasurer to manage Intergroup funds.  The duties generally occupy minimal time – just an hour most months.  Attendance at the monthly Intergroup meeting is encouraged.  This position requires one year of abstinence.

► Digi Com Chair is responsible for maintaining the website and generally requires 2-4 hours each month. Attendance at the monthly Intergroup meeting is encouraged.

►  We are looking for people with website experience of any kind, including those who are willing to learn.

Thanks for Your Donations!

We are grateful for the support we receive from the Orange County area SAA meetings.  As you can see from our activities listed in this newsletter, we are putting your donations to good use.  We encourage you to attend our monthly meetings and voice your ideas.

A Note to Event Promoters and Organizers: For those requesting announcements to run in our newsletter, please use the following format – and order – as much as possible:

Who: Are you a committee (of the Intergroup, for example), or an individual SAA meeting group, or another type of organization or individual?
What: Is this a workshop, breakfast, retreat, or another type of event?
Title: What is the name of your event?
When: Give the date and starting and ending times of your event.
Cost: What – if anything – is the suggested contribution, or is it a set fee, or is no one turned away for lack of funds?
Description: In a sentence, or several sentences, say what is unique or especially appealing about your event.
Where: Event address, along with any cross-street info or parking tips you think are important.
More Info: Whom to call for more information?  List a telephone number, email address, and/or website.
Please give us as much lead time as possible, and note that submissions are subject to editing for clarity and space.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

SAA Meeting News

New Meetings:

Costa Mesa (NEW LOCATION Effective Aug. 3th 2015 – formerly at First Methodist Church of Costa Mesa):  

Monday, 7:30 – 9:00 pm
Men Only/Closed/Book Study
Costa Mesa Church of Christ, 287 W. Wilson Street, Costa Mesa, CA 92627
Directions:  Between Harbor Blvd. & Fairview Ave.
For more information call 949-478-5617

Corona Del Mar (NEW LOCATION Effective Aug. 5th 2015 – formerly at First Methodist Church of Costa Mesa):
Wednesday, 7:30 – 9:00 pm
Mixed/Closed/Book Study/Share
St. Michael & All Angels’ Episcopal  Church, 3233 Pacific View Drive, Corona Del Mar, CA 92625 (South Wing Room attached to Church – Enter thru Patio on the Right)
Directions: to be added to website soon! For more information call (949) 636-1917

Wednesday, 12:00 – 1:00 pm
Men only/Closed
Pines Park, 34941 Camino Capistrano, CA 92624
Directions: From the 5 Freeway head south on Camino De Estrella towards Coast Highway, turn right on to Camino Capistrano. Parking will be on the street on Camino Capistrano…….the meeting is held at the upper Park at the south end.
For more information call (949) 547-4498.

Wednesday, 5:00-6:00pm
Closed, men only
1900 E. 4th St., Conference Room 2A, Santa Ana 92705
Free parking in structure
Contact Frank P. (949) 842-3454

Thursday, 7:00-8:00 p.m.
Closed, men only
707 E. Chapman, Orange 92866
Building is close to Orange Traffic Circle, white with green trim, no suite number; parking lot adjacent to building
Contact Chris B. (949) 278-3642

Changes:

***Not NUTS Meeting Update!!
Moving to Church of Christ on Wed. nights from 7pm-8:30pm in the Family Room. Bill P is the contact.

***The Monday evening women’s book study meeting has relocated. The meeting time is 6:30pm-7:30pm in Huntington Beach.  Please call 657-215-1252 or email saawomensgroup@gmail.com for more details.

The Monday and Friday Long Beach meetings are no longer at Kaiser Permanente, 3900 E. Pacific Coast Hwy., Long Beach.  The new meeting times and locations are:
—Monday, 7:30-8:30 pm, Mixed/Closed/Step/Tradition/Topic
Unitarian Church, 5450 Atherton St., Long Beach (just West of Bellflower Blvd.), in the Chalice Room
Contact Carole B., 562-841-4348, or e-mail CAROLEMARY@NETZERO.COM
—Friday, 6:30-7:30 pm, Mixed/Closed/Step/Tradition/Topic
Unitarian Church, 5450 Atherton St., Long Beach (just West of Bellflower Blvd.), in the Chalice Room
Contact Carole B., 562-841-4348, or e-mail CAROLEMARY@NETZERO.COM

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Orange County Intergroup Officers and Committee Chairs

Our leaders are but trusted servants; they do not govern. — Tradition 2

Chair: Frank S., ocisaa.chair@gmail.com
Vice Chair: Vacant, ocisaa.vicechair@gmail.com
Digital Communications: Neal B., ocisaa.digicom1@gmail.com (Assistant: Reza B., ocisaa.digicom2@gmail.com)
Inreach: Frank, ocisaa.inreach@gmail.com
Outreach: Maurice B., ocisaa.outreach@gmail.com
Literature: Ron C., ocisaa.literature@gmail.com
Treasurer: Phil G. (Vice Treasurer: Vacant), ocisaa.treasurer@gmail.com
Secretary: Steve W., ocisaa.secretary@gmail.com
Newsletter Editor:  Mark D., ocisaa.newsletter@gmail.com
Parliamentarian: Vacant

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Website

If you have ideas or suggestions for the website, please contact our Webmaster, Neal B., at ocisaa.digicom1@gmail.com.

by

September 2016

carry-the-messageThe purpose of our Intergroup is to more effectively reach the sex addict in the Orange County area who still suffers.  We meet the second Wednesday of each month from 7pm-8:30 p.m. at Lighthouse Church, 1885 Anaheim Ave., Costa Mesa CA 92627, in the Sanctuary.  All SAA members are welcome to participate.  If you can’t make it, meeting minutes are published on our website.  We want your ideas!

COSA/SAA Meeting

 

There will be a COSA/SAA meeting on Sunday October 16th, 2016 from 8:30am to 1pm at the Duck Club in Irvine. The topic is “Finding Power in Powerlessness.” We are looking for volunteers from our fellowship to speak on the topic. Speakers should have one year or more of time in the program.

 * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

My Share

Each month, we publish a personal but anonymous story of recovery.  It can be either an autobiography or about a subject important to your recovery.  Stories should be written in the first person (“I”) and speak from your experience, strength, and hope.  Please submit your story to ocisaa.newsletter@gmail.com.  We may edit submissions for reasons of space, clarity, and appropriate language.  Here is this month’s story:

 Outer Circle

I came to SAA a mess of a person. My life was falling apart…personally and professionally. I was confronted by my then, wife about pornography and what I later determined to be my inner circle activities. My marriage was hanging by a thread and I still didn’t stop acting out. I started going to SAA but it wasn’t on my own will, initially, which makes a huge difference in recovery. Meeting after meeting I sat there wanting to stop but not wanting to stop. My addiction was a pain reliever, stress reducer and numbed the pressure of my life. Why would I give that up? How would I move forward without it? Reality set in, I would have to face life and its challenges without the crutch of my addiction. I wound up divorced and still working toward this seemingly unattainable sobriety.

I had created my circles and thought long and hard about them. The inner circle was all about toxic behavior and things that I needed to grasp an understanding of in order to overcome. The Outer Circle was easy…all the things that brought joy, elation, new methods of stress relief. The middle circle was the tough part.  This was the place that led to the dangerous inner circle. Identifying behaviors, patterns, actions, emotions, people and stressors took a painstaking toll. This part required me to deal with the things I used my addiction to escape from.

After some time, I finally was ready to confront my addiction. I started attending meetings with a new determination and purpose. I researched and scheduled an assessment with an sex addiction specialist. Even if circumstances and other parties seem to have been a part of that, I know for myself that I did it because I was ready to confront my addiction. I was ready for freedom!

Having some sobriety in recovery, I have learned to fully enjoy life. I am not isolating, I am enjoying the things I love to do. I am present for my kids and loving the feeling of being present. When I’m stressed I take a drive with my camera and roll the windows down to feel the breeze on my face. I pluck (not well) at the guitar, swing the golf clubs a little better, spend less money and live more responsibly. Through my Outer Circle I have learned a great deal about myself and gained sobriety which has led to a much joy. I am fully present in life including a new relationship which is truly a beautiful thing. Watching my kiddos play, enjoying a cup of coffee on the deck, playing a game of hide and seek or watching the waves crash on the sand…My Outer Circle has allowed me to refine myself as a person and recovering sex addict.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Intergroup Project Updates

Survey 

AND now for the long awaited survey results…

– 152 people took the survey with 146 males and 5 females responding
–   16 people found SAA through acting out, while 94 found us while looking
for help which is up 17% from last year.
–   49 came to us from therapists up 5% from 2014.
–   Referrals were down 6% with 33 being referred.

What kept most coming back was a connection to a share, hearing someone else’s story with 80 responses. We know the power of hearing others going through the same thing we are. Hearing the similar despair and longing for a better path. 27 came back because they were greeted…very important because we all understand that it is a huge step to just walk in to a meeting of strangers and utter those three words for the first time.

The most most popular meeting formats (in order of most popular to least popular) were shares-106, speaker-52, book study-48, step study-47, mixed-23, meditation-17 and other-14.

Thank you to everyone who participated and provided data for the survey and a big thank you to everyone involved in getting this survey out to everyone and compiling the results. If you have questions please let us know.

Retaining Newcomers

As always, we want to reach out and retain newcomers since most of us know that abstinence and sobriety is better maintained out of isolation and in the fellowship of others.  Please consider ways to retain newcomers and ensure they feel welcome as I know we all do.

Website Traffic

We continue to receive visitors to our website, http://www.ocisaa.org, with 1,400 views and 830 people visited and actively looking through the site and primarily using the meeting location tab.   Our website is a valuable for those in recovery as well as those seeking recovery.

Internet Keyword Search Optimization

Our internet keyword search through Google is a big success so far.  In August 2016, we had 494 clicks and 14,735 impressions (missing July results at time of writing). As a result of this endeavor we are reaching a new audience which is great.  This is continuing to be a worthwhile venture and it brings the sex addict who still suffers to our page, hopefully meetings and most importantly to recovery.

To date (since June 2015) we have had 276,861 impressions and 6,390 clicks. The impressions are what pops up when someone types in keywords that we have added to Google Adwords. The clicks are visits to our page. This endeavor has had a large impact on reaching the sex addict who still suffers.

We will also be adding word search terms for women who are suffering from this addiction. We have received several contacts from women through the adword project.

Craigslist

The responses continue to ads we placed for SAA on the Orange County Craigslist website.  Sex addicts going there to act out are being presented with an opportunity for recovery, and for some of them, it’s working!

 * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Announcements & News Notes

The OC Intergroup meeting day has changed. OC Intergroup now meets the 2nd Wednesday of each month at 7pm at the same location, Lighthouse Church Costa Mesa in the Sanctuary.

Costa Mesa Noon Meetings

We have found a new location for the Costa Mesa Noon Meetings…
Orange Coast Unitarian Universalist Church located at:
2845 Mesa Verde Dr. East – Suite 4
Costa Mesa, CA 92626

  • They are also looking for speakers for Monday meetings to speak for 15 minutes on how they found recovery. Requires 6 months or more of sobriety to speak. Contact Lee at (714)318-8932 if interested.

A Message for Sponsors

We suggest you consider stressing to your sponsees the importance of service work such as volunteering for positions at their meetings.  Early in recovery, service work gives recovering sex addicts something to feel good about when they need it most.  Later on, it becomes Step 12 work, a very healthy activity and again a builder of self-esteem.  Some sponsors we know feel so strongly about it that they advise their sponsees either to fill a service position or find another sponsor!

Intergroup Vacancies

Our Intergroup elections are coming up in November. All positions except the Chair positions are up for election. These are great opportunities to be of service, and they generally require little or no special expertise.

► The Vice Chair works with the Chair to coordinate the Intergroup’s overall activities such as preparing the monthly agenda and helping with surveys.  It’s estimated that Vice Chair duties take about 2-4 hours per month, plus the monthly Intergroup meeting.

► The Vice Treasurer works with the Treasurer to manage Intergroup funds.  The duties generally occupy minimal time – just an hour most months.  Attendance at the monthly Intergroup meeting is encouraged.  This position requires one year of abstinence.

► Digi Com Chair is responsible for maintaining the website and generally requires 2-4 hours each month. Attendance at the monthly Intergroup meeting is encouraged.

►  We are looking for people with website experience of any kind, including those who are willing to learn.


Needed:  Intergroup Representatives

We still need Intergroup reps.  Currently only 25% of our meetings have an intergroup rep. The commitment is approximately an hour a month for the intergroup meeting and then a report at least once a month to the group being represented. If your meeting still lacks an Intergroup rep, please tell your secretary that you need one.  For more information, contact us at ocisaa.inreach@gmail.com.  We highly recommend you find someone to fill this service position.  We also suggest if possible, that your group allocate a percentage of its donations to the Intergroup for its activities, which benefit all SAA groups in the region.

Thanks for Your Donations!

We are grateful for the support we receive from the Orange County area SAA meetings.  As you can see from our activities listed in this newsletter, we are putting your donations to good use.  We encourage you to attend our monthly meetings and voice your ideas.

A Note to Event Promoters and Organizers: For those requesting announcements to run in our newsletter, please use the following format – and order – as much as possible:

Who: Are you a committee (of the Intergroup, for example), or an individual SAA meeting group, or another type of organization or individual?
What: Is this a workshop, breakfast, retreat, or another type of event?
Title: What is the name of your event?
When: Give the date and starting and ending times of your event.
Cost: What – if anything – is the suggested contribution, or is it a set fee, or is no one turned away for lack of funds?
Description: In a sentence, or several sentences, say what is unique or especially appealing about your event.
Where: Event address, along with any cross-street info or parking tips you think are important.
More Info: Whom to call for more information?  List a telephone number, email address, and/or website.
Please give us as much lead time as possible, and note that submissions are subject to editing for clarity and space.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

SAA Meeting News

New Meetings:

Costa Mesa (NEW LOCATION Effective Aug. 3th 2015 – formerly at First Methodist Church of Costa Mesa):  

Monday, 7:30 – 9:00 pm
Men Only/Closed/Book Study
Costa Mesa Church of Christ, 287 W. Wilson Street, Costa Mesa, CA 92627
Directions:  Between Harbor Blvd. & Fairview Ave.
For more information call 949-478-5617

Corona Del Mar (NEW LOCATION Effective Aug. 5th 2015 – formerly at First Methodist Church of Costa Mesa):
Wednesday, 7:30 – 9:00 pm
Mixed/Closed/Book Study/Share
St. Michael & All Angels’ Episcopal  Church, 3233 Pacific View Drive, Corona Del Mar, CA 92625 (South Wing Room attached to Church – Enter thru Patio on the Right)
Directions: to be added to website soon! For more information call (949) 636-1917

Wednesday, 12:00 – 1:00 pm
Men only/Closed
Pines Park, 34941 Camino Capistrano, CA 92624
Directions: From the 5 Freeway head south on Camino De Estrella towards Coast Highway, turn right on to Camino Capistrano. Parking will be on the street on Camino Capistrano…….the meeting is held at the upper Park at the south end.
For more information call (949) 547-4498.

Wednesday, 5:00-6:00pm
Closed, men only
1900 E. 4th St., Conference Room 2A, Santa Ana 92705
Free parking in structure
Contact Frank P. (949) 842-3454

Thursday, 7:00-8:00 p.m.
Closed, men only
707 E. Chapman, Orange 92866
Building is close to Orange Traffic Circle, white with green trim, no suite number; parking lot adjacent to building
Contact Chris B. (949) 278-3642

Changes:

***Not NUTS Meeting Update!!
Moving to Church of Christ on Wed. nights from 7pm-8:30pm in the Family Room. Bill P is the contact.

***The Monday evening women’s book study meeting has relocated. The meeting time is 6:30pm-7:30pm in Huntington Beach.  Please call 657-215-1252 or email saawomensgroup@gmail.com for more details.

The Monday and Friday Long Beach meetings are no longer at Kaiser Permanente, 3900 E. Pacific Coast Hwy., Long Beach.  The new meeting times and locations are:
—Monday, 7:30-8:30 pm, Mixed/Closed/Step/Tradition/Topic
Unitarian Church, 5450 Atherton St., Long Beach (just West of Bellflower Blvd.), in the Chalice Room
Contact Carole B., 562-841-4348, or e-mail CAROLEMARY@NETZERO.COM
—Friday, 6:30-7:30 pm, Mixed/Closed/Step/Tradition/Topic
Unitarian Church, 5450 Atherton St., Long Beach (just West of Bellflower Blvd.), in the Chalice Room
Contact Carole B., 562-841-4348, or e-mail CAROLEMARY@NETZERO.COM

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Orange County Intergroup Officers and Committee Chairs

Our leaders are but trusted servants; they do not govern. — Tradition 2

Chair: Frank S., ocisaa.chair@gmail.com
Vice Chair: Vacant, ocisaa.vicechair@gmail.com
Digital Communications: Neal B., ocisaa.digicom1@gmail.com (Assistant: Reza B., ocisaa.digicom2@gmail.com)
Inreach: Frank, ocisaa.inreach@gmail.com
Outreach: Maurice B., ocisaa.outreach@gmail.com
Literature: Ron C., ocisaa.literature@gmail.com
Treasurer: Phil G. (Vice Treasurer: Vacant), ocisaa.treasurer@gmail.com
Secretary: Steve W., ocisaa.secretary@gmail.com
Newsletter Editor:  Mark D., ocisaa.newsletter@gmail.com
Parliamentarian: Vacant

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Website

If you have ideas or suggestions for the website, please contact our Webmaster, Neal B., at ocisaa.digicom1@gmail.com.

by

August 2016

 

carry-the-messageThe purpose of our Intergroup is to more effectively reach the sex addict in the Orange County area who still suffers.  We meet the second Wednesday of each month from 7pm-8:30 p.m. at Lighthouse Church, 1885 Anaheim Ave., Costa Mesa CA 92627, in the Sanctuary.  All SAA members are welcome to participate.  If you can’t make it, meeting minutes are published on our website.  We want your ideas!

REMINDER: Bi-Annual Retreat

DON’T forget to mark your calendars for our next OCISAA retreat which is planned for Saturday, September 24 at the Lighthouse Church located at 1885 Anaheim Ave., Costa Mesa CA 92627 from 9am-5pm. The cost is $25 which includes Continental Breakfast, lunch, snacks and drinks. Scholarships are available. Payments may be made through PayPal on our website or you can mail checks to our P.O. Box – OCISAA P.O. Box 12424 Costa Mesa, CA 92627 (please indicate “retreat” on the check).

Retreats are great for fellowship and a strong outer circle activity. Come connect with others and hear their successes and struggles and how we can help each other. Als0, unbelievably, we are heading toward the holidays which can be trying times for many of us. Gain valuable tools for the holidays and maybe even establish a fellowship to keep you out of isolation.

 * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

My Share

Each month, we publish a personal but anonymous story of recovery.  It can be either an autobiography or about a subject important to your recovery.  Stories should be written in the first person (“I”) and speak from your experience, strength, and hope.  Please submit your story to ocisaa.newsletter@gmail.com.  We may edit submissions for reasons of space, clarity, and appropriate language.  Here is this month’s story:

 OK, I APOLOGIZED, NOW WHAT ABOUT YOUR PART?

Me:  “Honey, I scraped the car door driving into the garage.  I’m sorry.”

Her:  “Oh my darling, I’m sorry.  I had stuff spread all over the garage floor.  You wouldn’t have scraped the door if I had given you more room.  It’s partly my fault.”

It doesn’t often work like that, does it?  More likely we’ll hear, “Well, that was pretty stupid.  Now you’ve got to get the door fixed.”

This article is about a frustration many of us share during recovery.  We apologize to someone about our part in a situation, but the person we’re apologizing to doesn’t acknowledge their part.  We want so badly to hear their apology, but it just doesn’t happen very often.

As a reminder, here are the steps that apply to this discussion:

Step 9:  Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.

Step 10:  Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.

During my early recovery, my therapist and I were discussing relationships.  I told him how my wife was angry, and how she found fault with many things I said and did.  He explained that her anger was expected, but if she stayed with me it would likely diminish.  However, it would take some time.  He gave me tips on how to deal with her anger in a constructive way, but he added that sometimes I would just have to take it.  He said the best thing I could do at times was simply to tell my wife that I was sorry I had hurt her so deeply, and I was working hard never to hurt her again.

Over time, my therapist gave me more pointers on improving my relationship skills with my wife.  I went home and used them, but often my wife didn’t respond the way she “should,” according to what the therapist told me was the ideal way for things to work.   When I complained to my therapist about this, he replied that our spouses don’t know the rules, nor do they necessarily feel obligated to follow them even if we plead, “But my therapist said…”  Interestingly, as time passed, my wife did begin using some of the relationship skills suggested by my therapist.  But not right away.  I remember her using the word “psychobabble” critically several times.  Now I know it was probably because she was still angry.

At this stage, my relationship with my wife has greatly improved.  I am so grateful.  Still, she sometimes has difficulty seeing, much less acknowledging, that her actions played a part in something for which I am apologizing to her.  I have had to accept it as a part of her that probably won’t change.  It’s either that or hold grudges against her.

I must remember that spouses and partners are human.  Like us, they’re not perfect.  And they have every right to be angry at us – which, hopefully, diminishes over time as we continue our recovery.  I believe that anger, though greatly reduced, may still play a role in their reluctance or inability to see their part.  Or, it’s also possible that it’s just the way they are.  In either case, I believe it’s something we need to accept.

I prefer to believe that my wife’s not seeing her role in some things is just part of her make-up.  My wife, as someone in SAA told me, is a package deal.  I love her, and I can accept her character flaws because they are dwarfed by her good qualities.  Hopefully she can do the same with me.

When I’m upset with my wife, it helps if I write a gratitude list about her.  Looking at all those good things makes me more willing to accept her imperfections.  It’s good for my recovery.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Intergroup Project Updates

Survey 

AND now for the long awaited survey results…

– 152 people took the survey with 146 males and 5 females responding
–   16 people found SAA through acting out, while 94 found us while looking
for help which is up 17% from last year.
–   49 came to us from therapists up 5% from 2014.
–   Referrals were down 6% with 33 being referred.

What kept most coming back was a connection to a share, hearing someone else’s story with 80 responses. We know the power of hearing others going through the same thing we are. Hearing the similar despair and longing for a better path. 27 came back because they were greeted…very important because we all understand that it is a huge step to just walk in to a meeting of strangers and utter those three words for the first time.

The most most popular meeting formats (in order of most popular to least popular) were shares-106, speaker-52, book study-48, step study-47, mixed-23, meditation-17 and other-14.

Thank you to everyone who participated and provided data for the survey and a big thank you to everyone involved in getting this survey out to everyone and compiling the results. If you have questions please let us know.

Retaining Newcomers

As always, we want to reach out and retain newcomers since most of us know that abstinence and sobriety is better maintained out of isolation and in the fellowship of others.  Please consider ways to retain newcomers and ensure they feel welcome as I know we all do.

Website Traffic

We continue to receive visitors to our website, http://www.ocisaa.org, with 1,350 visitors and 743 people actively looking through the site and primarily using the meeting location tab.   Our website is a valuable for those in recovery as well as those seeking recovery.

Internet Keyword Search Optimization

Our internet keyword search through Google is a big success so far.  In June 2016, we had 410 clicks and 14,553 impressions (missing July results at time of writing). As a result of this endeavor we are reaching a new audience which is great.  This is continuing to be a worthwhile venture and it brings the sex addict who still suffers to our page, hopefully meetings and most importantly to recovery.

We will also be adding word search terms for women who are suffering from this addiction. We have received several contacts from women through the adword project.

Craigslist

The responses continue to ads we placed for SAA on the Orange County Craigslist website.  Sex addicts going there to act out are being presented with an opportunity for recovery, and for some of them, it’s working!

 * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Announcements & News Notes

The OC Intergroup meeting day has changed. OC Intergroup now meets the 2nd Wednesday of each month at 7pm at the same location, Lighthouse Church Costa Mesa in the Sanctuary.

Costa Mesa Noon Meetings

We have found a new location for the Costa Mesa Noon Meetings…
Orange Coast Unitarian Universalist Church located at:
2845 Mesa Verde Dr. East – Suite 4
Costa Mesa, CA 92626

  • They are also looking for speakers for Monday meetings to speak for 15 minutes on how they found recovery. Requires 6 months or more of sobriety to speak. Contact Lee at (714)318-8932 if interested.

A Message for Sponsors

We suggest you consider stressing to your sponsees the importance of service work such as volunteering for positions at their meetings.  Early in recovery, service work gives recovering sex addicts something to feel good about when they need it most.  Later on, it becomes Step 12 work, a very healthy activity and again a builder of self-esteem.  Some sponsors we know feel so strongly about it that they advise their sponsees either to fill a service position or find another sponsor!

Intergroup Vacancies

Our Intergroup has one vacant position and a need for website contributors.  These are great opportunities to be of service, and they generally require little or no special expertise.

► The Vice Chair works with the Chair to coordinate the Intergroup’s overall activities such as preparing the monthly agenda and helping with surveys.  It’s estimated that Vice Chair duties take about 2-4 hours per month, plus the monthly Intergroup meeting.

► The Vice Treasurer works with the Treasurer to manage Intergroup funds.  The duties generally occupy minimal time – just an hour most months.  Attendance at the monthly Intergroup meeting is encouraged.  This position requires one year of abstinence.

► Digi Com Chair is responsible for maintaining the website and generally requires 2-4 hours each month. Attendance at the monthly Intergroup meeting is encouraged.

►  We are looking for people with website experience of any kind, including those who are willing to learn.


Needed:  Intergroup Representatives

Only 25% of our meetings have an intergroup rep. The commitment is approximately an hour a month for the intergroup meeting and then a report at least once a month to the group being represented. If your meeting still lacks an Intergroup rep, please tell your secretary that you need one.  For more information, contact us at ocisaa.inreach@gmail.com.  We highly recommend you find someone to fill this service position.  We also suggest if possible, that your group allocate a percentage of its donations to the Intergroup for its activities, which benefit all SAA groups in the region.

Thanks for Your Donations!

We are grateful for the support we receive from the Orange County area SAA meetings.  As you can see from our activities listed in this newsletter, we are putting your donations to good use.  We encourage you to attend our monthly meetings and voice your ideas.

A Note to Event Promoters and Organizers: For those requesting announcements to run in our newsletter, please use the following format – and order – as much as possible:

Who: Are you a committee (of the Intergroup, for example), or an individual SAA meeting group, or another type of organization or individual?
What: Is this a workshop, breakfast, retreat, or another type of event?
Title: What is the name of your event?
When: Give the date and starting and ending times of your event.
Cost: What – if anything – is the suggested contribution, or is it a set fee, or is no one turned away for lack of funds?
Description: In a sentence, or several sentences, say what is unique or especially appealing about your event.
Where: Event address, along with any cross-street info or parking tips you think are important.
More Info: Whom to call for more information?  List a telephone number, email address, and/or website.
Please give us as much lead time as possible, and note that submissions are subject to editing for clarity and space.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

SAA Meeting News

New Meetings:

Costa Mesa (NEW LOCATION Effective Aug. 3th 2015 – formerly at First Methodist Church of Costa Mesa):  

Monday, 7:30 – 9:00 pm
Men Only/Closed/Book Study
Costa Mesa Church of Christ, 287 W. Wilson Street, Costa Mesa, CA 92627
Directions:  Between Harbor Blvd. & Fairview Ave.
For more information call 949-478-5617

Corona Del Mar (NEW LOCATION Effective Aug. 5th 2015 – formerly at First Methodist Church of Costa Mesa):
Wednesday, 7:30 – 9:00 pm
Mixed/Closed/Book Study/Share
St. Michael & All Angels’ Episcopal  Church, 3233 Pacific View Drive, Corona Del Mar, CA 92625 (South Wing Room attached to Church – Enter thru Patio on the Right)
Directions: to be added to website soon! For more information call (949) 636-1917

Wednesday, 12:00 – 1:00 pm
Men only/Closed
Pines Park, 34941 Camino Capistrano, CA 92624
Directions: From the 5 Freeway head south on Camino De Estrella towards Coast Highway, turn right on to Camino Capistrano. Parking will be on the street on Camino Capistrano…….the meeting is held at the upper Park at the south end.
For more information call (949) 547-4498.

Wednesday, 5:00-6:00pm
Closed, men only
1900 E. 4th St., Conference Room 2A, Santa Ana 92705
Free parking in structure
Contact Frank P. (949) 842-3454

Thursday, 7:00-8:00 p.m.
Closed, men only
707 E. Chapman, Orange 92866
Building is close to Orange Traffic Circle, white with green trim, no suite number; parking lot adjacent to building
Contact Chris B. (949) 278-3642

Changes:

***Not NUTS Meeting Update!!
Moving to Church of Christ on Wed. nights from 7pm-8:30pm in the Family Room. Bill P is the contact.

***The Monday evening women’s book study meeting has relocated. The meeting time is 6:30pm-7:30pm in Huntington Beach.  Please call 657-215-1252 or email saawomensgroup@gmail.com for more details.

The Monday and Friday Long Beach meetings are no longer at Kaiser Permanente, 3900 E. Pacific Coast Hwy., Long Beach.  The new meeting times and locations are:
—Monday, 7:30-8:30 pm, Mixed/Closed/Step/Tradition/Topic
Unitarian Church, 5450 Atherton St., Long Beach (just West of Bellflower Blvd.), in the Chalice Room
Contact Carole B., 562-841-4348, or e-mail CAROLEMARY@NETZERO.COM
—Friday, 6:30-7:30 pm, Mixed/Closed/Step/Tradition/Topic
Unitarian Church, 5450 Atherton St., Long Beach (just West of Bellflower Blvd.), in the Chalice Room
Contact Carole B., 562-841-4348, or e-mail CAROLEMARY@NETZERO.COM

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Orange County Intergroup Officers and Committee Chairs

Our leaders are but trusted servants; they do not govern. — Tradition 2

Chair: Frank S., ocisaa.chair@gmail.com
Vice Chair: Vacant, ocisaa.vicechair@gmail.com
Digital Communications: Neal B., ocisaa.digicom1@gmail.com (Assistant: Reza B., ocisaa.digicom2@gmail.com)
Inreach: Frank, ocisaa.inreach@gmail.com
Outreach: Maurice B., ocisaa.outreach@gmail.com
Literature: Ron C., ocisaa.literature@gmail.com
Treasurer: Phil G. (Vice Treasurer: Vacant), ocisaa.treasurer@gmail.com
Secretary: Steve W., ocisaa.secretary@gmail.com
Newsletter Editor:  Mark D., ocisaa.newsletter@gmail.com
Parliamentarian: Vacant

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Website

If you have ideas or suggestions for the website, please contact our Webmaster, Neal B., at ocisaa.digicom1@gmail.com.

by

July 2016

 

carry-the-messageThe purpose of our Intergroup is to more effectively reach the sex addict in the Orange County area who still suffers.  We meet the second Wednesday of each month from 7pm-8:30 p.m. at Lighthouse Church, 1885 Anaheim Ave., Costa Mesa CA 92627, in the Sanctuary.  All SAA members are welcome to participate.  If you can’t make it, meeting minutes are published on our website.  We want your ideas!

Bi-Annual Retreat

Our next OCISAA retreat is planned for Saturday, September 24 at the Lighthouse Church located at 1885 Anaheim Ave., Costa Mesa CA 92627 from 9am-5pm. The cost is $25 which includes Continental Breakfast, lunch, snacks and drinks. Scholarships are available. Payments may be made through PayPal on our website or you can mail checks to our P.O. Box – OCISAA P.O. Box 12424 Costa Mesa, CA 92627 (please indicate “retreat” on the check).

Retreats are great for fellowship and a strong outer circle activity. Come connect with others and hear their successes and struggles and how we can help each other. Als0, unbelievably, we are heading toward the holidays which can be trying times for many of us. Gain valuable tools for the holidays and maybe even establish a fellowship to keep you out of isolation.

 * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

My Share

Each month, we publish a personal but anonymous story of recovery.  It can be either an autobiography or about a subject important to your recovery.  Stories should be written in the first person (“I”) and speak from your experience, strength, and hope.  Please submit your story to ocisaa.newsletter@gmail.com.  We may edit submissions for reasons of space, clarity, and appropriate language.  Here is this month’s story:

 Recovery

What I’m like now: I have over 5 yrs. non-white knuckle sobriety. My new inner circle boundaries are-

No sex w/ myself or anyone except my wife, and no porn. My middle circle boundary is mostly not fantasizing more than 3 seconds from old sexual experiences or someone I just saw.

I now know sponsors do make mistakes too, just like me.  My new sponsor guideline for myself is a year of sobriety and working the steps.

I now pick up the phone that used to weigh 900 lbs, it only weighs 6 oz. now! I make calls weekly to my sponsor and others in this program, and I plan to just keep on working the steps, probably as long as I live. And I can accept that.

I pray and ask for help and pray for others daily, and started sponsoring.

I also volunteered for our local intergroup, which has been a gift to me from our fellowship!

I completed 3 back to back complete step rounds because I did not understand how to use the steps daily. My recovery hit a turning point when I wrote down my inventory for my 4th step & shared it w/ my sponsor in step#5, and when I really  started practicing the 12th Step. And it does that every time so far! I feel free and a lot lighter, a lot of my shame & guilt gone. I have learned that I do not have to WAIT (until I have worked in step order)to practice  step #12, this has had a very positive impact on my recovery, especially when I am thinking of others.

I carefully researched about who I wanted to be my HP, I chose Jesus because He hung out w/ broken people like myself, and loved & healed them! And I had a lot breaks that needed healing.

Mentally I am in much better shape & feel I am dealing w/ people, places & things not feeling the helpless urge to ao when I am stressed or uncomfortable. Daily I remind myself to try to be humble and to realize I am powerless over everything except my own thoughts and actions. Trying to stay out of myself and to think more of others and their needs instead of feeling “if only all my needs are met the world will keep on spinning”! For me, “progress rather than perfection”, “better not bitter”, “this too shall pass” & “one day at a time” are sayings and feelings I try to keep in my mind all day.

My relationships w/ my wife, children, family, friends and strangers have improved and continue getting better as I get more recovery.

I will use anything that I feel is useful for my recovery, from all kinds of sources, including belonging to another fellowship where I share directly about my HP. Thinking daily of steps 1-4 is something I try to keep in my head and practice daily, and practicing the 10th step of taking my daily inventory and if I was wrong to promptly admit it and make amends.

Looking back, if I could have changed my recovery by working on the steps, getting & keeping a sponsor & making calls (following the guidelines for this program), and especially practicing the 12th step “To carry the message to the addicts who still suffer”, I believe my recovery would be fuller faster.

The resources I use are: SAA Greenbook, the AA Big Book, Hope & Recovery, Bible especially Proverbs, 12 steps and 12 traditions,  the Life Recovery Daily Devotional, Recovery from Sexual Addiction group, Dr. Carnes books and continuously learning & reading about recovery.

I work the steps and leave the rest to God, it DOES work if you work it!  If I can do it, ANYONE can!

Thank  you to God, the 12 steps, my sponsor and this fellowship!

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Intergroup Project Updates

Survey 

AND now for the long awaited survey results…

– 152 people took the survey with 146 males and 5 females responding
–   16 people found SAA through acting out, while 94 found us while looking
for help which is up 17% from last year.
–   49 came to us from therapists up 5% from 2014.
–   Referrals were down 6% with 33 being referred.

What kept most coming back was a connection to a share, hearing someone else’s story with 80 responses. We know the power of hearing others going through the same thing we are. Hearing the similar despair and longing for a better path. 27 came back because they were greeted…very important because we all understand that it is a huge step to just walk in to a meeting of strangers and utter those three words for the first time.

The most most popular meeting formats (in order of most popular to least popular) were shares-106, speaker-52, book study-48, step study-47, mixed-23, meditation-17 and other-14.

Thank you to everyone who participated and provided data for the survey and a big thank you to everyone involved in getting this survey out to everyone and compiling the results. If you have questions please let us know.

Retaining Newcomers

As always, we want to reach out and retain newcomers since most of us know that abstinence and sobriety is better maintained out of isolation and in the fellowship of others.  Please consider ways to retain newcomers and ensure they feel welcome as I know we all do.

Website Traffic

We continue to receive visitors to our website, http://www.ocisaa.org, with 1,350 visitors and 743 people actively looking through the site and primarily using the meeting location tab.   Our website is a valuable for those in recovery as well as those seeking recovery.

Internet Keyword Search Optimization

Our internet keyword search through Google is a big success so far.  In June 2016, we had 410 clicks and 14,553 impressions. As a result of this endeavor we are reaching a new audience which is great.  This is continuing to be a worthwhile venture and it brings the sex addict who still suffers to our page, hopefully meetings and most importantly to recovery.

We will also be adding word search terms for women who are suffering from this addiction. We have received several contacts from women through the adword project.

Craigslist

The responses continue to ads we placed for SAA on the Orange County Craigslist website.  Sex addicts going there to act out are being presented with an opportunity for recovery, and for some of them, it’s working!

 * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Announcements & News Notes

The OC Intergroup meeting day has changed. OC Intergroup now meets the 2nd Wednesday of each month at 7pm at the same location, Lighthouse Church Costa Mesa in the Sanctuary.

Costa Mesa Noon Meetings

We have found a new location for the Costa Mesa Noon Meetings…
Orange Coast Unitarian Universalist Church located at:
2845 Mesa Verde Dr. East – Suite 4
Costa Mesa, CA 92626

  • They are also looking for speakers for Monday meetings to speak for 15 minutes on how they found recovery. Requires 6 months or more of sobriety to speak. Contact Lee at (714)318-8932 if interested.

A Message for Sponsors

We suggest you consider stressing to your sponsees the importance of service work such as volunteering for positions at their meetings.  Early in recovery, service work gives recovering sex addicts something to feel good about when they need it most.  Later on, it becomes Step 12 work, a very healthy activity and again a builder of self-esteem.  Some sponsors we know feel so strongly about it that they advise their sponsees either to fill a service position or find another sponsor!

Intergroup Vacancies

Our Intergroup has one vacant position and a need for website contributors.  These are great opportunities to be of service, and they generally require little or no special expertise.

► The Vice Chair works with the Chair to coordinate the Intergroup’s overall activities such as preparing the monthly agenda and helping with surveys.  It’s estimated that Vice Chair duties take about 2-4 hours per month, plus the monthly Intergroup meeting.

► The Vice Treasurer works with the Treasurer to manage Intergroup funds.  The duties generally occupy minimal time – just an hour most months.  Attendance at the monthly Intergroup meeting is encouraged.  This position requires one year of abstinence.

► Digi Com Chair is responsible for maintaining the website and generally requires 2-4 hours each month. Attendance at the monthly Intergroup meeting is encouraged.

►  We are looking for people with website experience of any kind, including those who are willing to learn.


Needed:  Intergroup Representatives

Only 25% of our meetings have an intergroup rep. The commitment is approximately an hour a month for the intergroup meeting and then a report at least once a month to the group being represented. If your meeting still lacks an Intergroup rep, please tell your secretary that you need one.  For more information, contact us at ocisaa.inreach@gmail.com.  We highly recommend you find someone to fill this service position.  We also suggest if possible, that your group allocate a percentage of its donations to the Intergroup for its activities, which benefit all SAA groups in the region.

Thanks for Your Donations!

We are grateful for the support we receive from the Orange County area SAA meetings.  As you can see from our activities listed in this newsletter, we are putting your donations to good use.  We encourage you to attend our monthly meetings and voice your ideas.

A Note to Event Promoters and Organizers: For those requesting announcements to run in our newsletter, please use the following format – and order – as much as possible:

Who: Are you a committee (of the Intergroup, for example), or an individual SAA meeting group, or another type of organization or individual?
What: Is this a workshop, breakfast, retreat, or another type of event?
Title: What is the name of your event?
When: Give the date and starting and ending times of your event.
Cost: What – if anything – is the suggested contribution, or is it a set fee, or is no one turned away for lack of funds?
Description: In a sentence, or several sentences, say what is unique or especially appealing about your event.
Where: Event address, along with any cross-street info or parking tips you think are important.
More Info: Whom to call for more information?  List a telephone number, email address, and/or website.
Please give us as much lead time as possible, and note that submissions are subject to editing for clarity and space.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

SAA Meeting News

New Meetings:

Costa Mesa (NEW LOCATION Effective Aug. 3th 2015 – formerly at First Methodist Church of Costa Mesa):  

Monday, 7:30 – 9:00 pm
Men Only/Closed/Book Study
Costa Mesa Church of Christ, 287 W. Wilson Street, Costa Mesa, CA 92627
Directions:  Between Harbor Blvd. & Fairview Ave.
For more information call 949-478-5617

Corona Del Mar (NEW LOCATION Effective Aug. 5th 2015 – formerly at First Methodist Church of Costa Mesa):
Wednesday, 7:30 – 9:00 pm
Mixed/Closed/Book Study/Share
St. Michael & All Angels’ Episcopal  Church, 3233 Pacific View Drive, Corona Del Mar, CA 92625 (South Wing Room attached to Church – Enter thru Patio on the Right)
Directions: to be added to website soon! For more information call (949) 636-1917

Wednesday, 12:00 – 1:00 pm
Men only/Closed
Pines Park, 34941 Camino Capistrano, CA 92624
Directions: From the 5 Freeway head south on Camino De Estrella towards Coast Highway, turn right on to Camino Capistrano. Parking will be on the street on Camino Capistrano…….the meeting is held at the upper Park at the south end.
For more information call (949) 547-4498.

Wednesday, 5:00-6:00pm
Closed, men only
1900 E. 4th St., Conference Room 2A, Santa Ana 92705
Free parking in structure
Contact Frank P. (949) 842-3454

Thursday, 7:00-8:00 p.m.
Closed, men only
707 E. Chapman, Orange 92866
Building is close to Orange Traffic Circle, white with green trim, no suite number; parking lot adjacent to building
Contact Chris B. (949) 278-3642

Changes:

***Not NUTS Meeting Update!!
Moving to Church of Christ on Wed. nights from 7pm-8:30pm in the Family Room. Bill P is the contact.

***The Monday evening women’s book study meeting has relocated. The meeting time is 6:30pm-7:30pm in Huntington Beach.  Please call 657-215-1252 or email saawomensgroup@gmail.com for more details.

The Monday and Friday Long Beach meetings are no longer at Kaiser Permanente, 3900 E. Pacific Coast Hwy., Long Beach.  The new meeting times and locations are:
—Monday, 7:30-8:30 pm, Mixed/Closed/Step/Tradition/Topic
Unitarian Church, 5450 Atherton St., Long Beach (just West of Bellflower Blvd.), in the Chalice Room
Contact Carole B., 562-841-4348, or e-mail CAROLEMARY@NETZERO.COM
—Friday, 6:30-7:30 pm, Mixed/Closed/Step/Tradition/Topic
Unitarian Church, 5450 Atherton St., Long Beach (just West of Bellflower Blvd.), in the Chalice Room
Contact Carole B., 562-841-4348, or e-mail CAROLEMARY@NETZERO.COM

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Orange County Intergroup Officers and Committee Chairs

Our leaders are but trusted servants; they do not govern. — Tradition 2

Chair: Frank S., ocisaa.chair@gmail.com
Vice Chair: Vacant, ocisaa.vicechair@gmail.com
Digital Communications: Neal B., ocisaa.digicom1@gmail.com (Assistant: Reza B., ocisaa.digicom2@gmail.com)
Inreach: Frank, ocisaa.inreach@gmail.com
Outreach: Maurice B., ocisaa.outreach@gmail.com
Literature: Ron C., ocisaa.literature@gmail.com
Treasurer: Phil G. (Vice Treasurer: Vacant), ocisaa.treasurer@gmail.com
Secretary: Steve W., ocisaa.secretary@gmail.com
Newsletter Editor:  Mark D., ocisaa.newsletter@gmail.com
Parliamentarian: Vacant

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Website

If you have ideas or suggestions for the website, please contact our Webmaster, Neal B., at ocisaa.digicom1@gmail.com.

by

June 2016

 

carry-the-messageThe purpose of our Intergroup is to more effectively reach the sex addict in the Orange County area who still suffers.  We meet the second Wednesday of each month from 7pm-8:30 p.m. at Lighthouse Church, 1885 Anaheim Ave., Costa Mesa CA 92627, in the Sanctuary.  All SAA members are welcome to participate.  If you can’t make it, meeting minutes are published on our website.  We want your ideas!

29th Annual SAA Convention

As many of you are aware, the annual convention and conference, just wrapped up over the Memorial Day weekend in Chicago. Several of our brothers and sisters in recovery attended and the reviews and information coming back are pretty encouraging. Steve C. from the Saturday Noon Irvine meeting attended as a delegate to participate in the convention and be our voice. Steve was generous enough to send a brief write up of the topics, voting results and speakers.

ISO Conference, We are Not Alone, Chicago 2016

Delegation

Motion: 2016-D0001

Conference approval of SAA Green Book

Notes:

  • Have the SAA Big Book, 3rd Edition be the official literature for SAA Fellowship.
  • Green Book previously only approved by the Literature Committee (LitCom).
  • AA has the AA Big Book so SAA should have the SAA Big Book.
  • Some concerns over the “tourist story” (NFI) but overall the book is geared towards sex addiction, which is our disease.

Vote: 136/7 – Pass

Motion: 2016-D0003

Area Formation Process

Notes:

  • Area Coordinating Committee (ACC) means Intergroup could be the Area Assembler.
  • Small meetings of Area group representatives will send one (1) Delegate from the Area instead of one Delegate from each SAA group.
  • SAA groups will form an Area then there will be an Area Coordinating Committee (ACC) for the meetings that have not formed themselves into group.
  • Goal: ACC sends Delegates.
  • 10 Areas already started to form.
  • Service Manual for Area.

Vote: 144/6 – Pass

Motion 2016-D0007

Change Article IV, Section 10 in the BYLAWS of the ISO of SAA, Inc.

Vote: 141/4 – Pass

Motion 2016-D0004

Creation of an Area Coordinating Committee (ACC)

Note:

  • Where the groups have been unable to find Area, assign them an area (Goal 2020).
  • ACC consist six (6) voting members with one-year terms.
  • After first year, term is three (3) years.

Vote: 138/8 – Pass

Motion 2016-D0005

Proportional representation at the annual meeting of the ISO conference

Hour Glass Effect:

  • Large Groups Percentage
  • Small Area Delegate Percentage
  • Large Board Percentage

Note:

  • Potential Problem: Limit Number of Delegates
  • Question: Unknown number of Area Delegates

Vote: 64/69 – Fail

Motion 2016-D0006

Resolution to affirm the voice of the fellowship

Note:

  • 5 Staffers
  • 14 Board Members
  • 12 Litcom (Literature)
  • 2/3 Makeup of Area

Vote: 85/47 Not Resolute to 2/3

Second Round:

Notes: Ensure – Litcom and Board does not outnumber area delegates because we have no clear number of areas, i.e. 10 area or 30 areas.

Vote 2: 80/52 – Carries (Majority)

Guest Speakers – Key Notes

Opening Speaker – Wharton S. (USA)

  • Intimacy is sharing a mutual safe place.
  • Abuse is anything that destroys that safe place.
  • A mature man has recognized what is good or bad for himself. (This is Simply SOBRIETY)
  • The Center of Body Mind Meditation recommends mediating on your Safe Place.

Saturday Night Banquet SAA Speaker – Karen S. (UK)

  • Hitting Rock Bottom is God’s Invitation to follow a Spirit path.
  • Her Interior Landscape was UNMANAGABLE!
  • Change Inside has change her, BUT her outside stayed the same.
  • A Gratitude List every night showed her Higher Power.

Memorial Day Speaker – Rich N. (Detroit) Former Motor Co. Executive, Now L2/L3 Sex Offender

  • I used masturbation when I was:
    • Lonely
    • Tried
    • Stressed
  • He went online, after his arrest and recovery, to see if anyone he knew was still online when his wife was away to see her step son and the blocking software was removed when he discovered it was slowing the computer down and he convinced his wife to remove it; MISTAKE and RELAPSE.
  • Was not allowed to see his granddaughter because his daughter-in-law thought he would OBJECTIFY his granddaughter.

A huge thank you to Steve C. for his detailed account of the convention and conference and his service to our groups. A big thank you to all of the attendees.

 * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

My Share

Each month, we publish a personal but anonymous story of recovery.  It can be either an autobiography or about a subject important to your recovery.  Stories should be written in the first person (“I”) and speak from your experience, strength, and hope.  Please submit your story to ocisaa.newsletter@gmail.com.  We may edit submissions for reasons of space, clarity, and appropriate language.  Here is this month’s story:

 “It’s not whether you get knocked down,
it’s whether you get up.” – Vince Lombardi

The man was legend…a champion…a coach and motivator. We motivate ourselves and each other. As we work toward sobriety we have struggles. Keep coming back, progress not perfection and one-day-at-a-time help us get back up.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Intergroup Project Updates

Survey 

AND now for the long awaited survey results…

– 152 people took the survey with 146 males and 5 females responding
–   16 people found SAA through acting out, while 94 found us while looking
for help which is up 17% from last year.
–   49 came to us from therapists up 5% from 2014.
–   Referrals were down 6% with 33 being referred.

What kept most coming back was a connection to a share, hearing someone else’s story with 80 responses. We know the power of hearing others going through the same thing we are. Hearing the similar despair and longing for a better path. 27 came back because they were greeted…very important because we all understand that it is a huge step to just walk in to a meeting of strangers and utter those three words for the first time.

The most most popular meeting formats (in order of most popular to least popular) were shares-106, speaker-52, book study-48, step study-47, mixed-23, meditation-17 and other-14.

Thank you to everyone who participated and provided data for the survey and a big thank you to everyone involved in getting this survey out to everyone and compiling the results. If you have questions please let us know.

Retaining Newcomers

As always, we want to reach out and retain newcomers since most of us know that abstinence and sobriety is better maintained out of isolation and in the fellowship of others.  Please consider ways to retain newcomers and ensure they feel welcome as I know we all do.

Website Traffic

We continue to receive visitors to our website, http://www.ocisaa.org, with 1,374 visitors and 774 people actively looking through the site and primarily using the meeting location tab.   Our website is a valuable for those in recovery as well as those seeking recovery.

Internet Keyword Search Optimization

Our internet keyword search through Google is a big success so far.  In May 2016, we had 474 clicks and 15,611 impressions. As a result of this endeavor we are reaching a new audience which is great.  This is continuing to be a worthwhile venture and it brings the sex addict who still suffers to our page, hopefully meetings and most importantly to recovery.

We will also be adding word search terms for women who are suffering from this addiction. We have received several contacts from women through the adword project.

Craigslist

The responses continue to ads we placed for SAA on the Orange County Craigslist website.  Sex addicts going there to act out are being presented with an opportunity for recovery, and for some of them, it’s working!

 * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Announcements & News Notes

We are looking for locations for our next retreat in August/September…if you have any suggestions please contact Intergroup. A few ideas so far have included the Duck Club and Lighthouse Church. Topics will come from the survey.

The OC Intergroup meeting day has changed. OC Intergroup now meets the 2nd Wednesday of each month at 7pm at the same location, Lighthouse Church Costa Mesa in the Sanctuary.

Costa Mesa Noon Meetings

We have found a new location for the Costa Mesa Noon Meetings…
Orange Coast Unitarian Universalist Church located at:
2845 Mesa Verde Dr. East – Suite 4
Costa Mesa, CA 92626

  • They are also looking for speakers for Monday meetings to speak for 15 minutes on how they found recovery. Requires 6 months or more of sobriety to speak. Contact Lee at (714)318-8932 if interested.

A Message for Sponsors

We suggest you consider stressing to your sponsees the importance of service work such as volunteering for positions at their meetings.  Early in recovery, service work gives recovering sex addicts something to feel good about when they need it most.  Later on, it becomes Step 12 work, a very healthy activity and again a builder of self-esteem.  Some sponsors we know feel so strongly about it that they advise their sponsees either to fill a service position or find another sponsor!

Intergroup Vacancies

Our Intergroup has one vacant position and a need for website contributors.  These are great opportunities to be of service, and they generally require little or no special expertise.

►  The Chairperson is opening in 2016. The duties generally occupy a few hours each month. The chair is also responsible for leading the monthly Intergroup meetings and providing direction for the group to ensure we are reaching everyone in recovery.

► The Vice Chair works with the Chair to coordinate the Intergroup’s overall activities such as preparing the monthly agenda and helping with surveys.  It’s estimated that Vice Chair duties take about 2-4 hours per month, plus the monthly Intergroup meeting.

► The Vice Treasurer works with the Treasurer to manage Intergroup funds.  The duties generally occupy minimal time – just an hour most months.  Attendance at the monthly Intergroup meeting is encouraged.  This position requires one year of abstinence.

► Digi Com Chair is responsible for maintaining the website and generally requires 2-4 hours each month. Attendance at the monthly Intergroup meeting is encouraged.

►  We are looking for people with website experience of any kind, including those who are willing to learn.


Needed:  Intergroup Representatives

Only 25% of our meetings have an intergroup rep. The commitment is approximately an hour a month for the intergroup meeting and then a report at least once a month to the group being represented. If your meeting still lacks an Intergroup rep, please tell your secretary that you need one.  For more information, contact us at ocisaa.inreach@gmail.com.  We highly recommend you find someone to fill this service position.  We also suggest if possible, that your group allocate a percentage of its donations to the Intergroup for its activities, which benefit all SAA groups in the region.

Thanks for Your Donations!

We are grateful for the support we receive from the Orange County area SAA meetings.  As you can see from our activities listed in this newsletter, we are putting your donations to good use.  We encourage you to attend our monthly meetings and voice your ideas.

A Note to Event Promoters and Organizers: For those requesting announcements to run in our newsletter, please use the following format – and order – as much as possible:

Who: Are you a committee (of the Intergroup, for example), or an individual SAA meeting group, or another type of organization or individual?
What: Is this a workshop, breakfast, retreat, or another type of event?
Title: What is the name of your event?
When: Give the date and starting and ending times of your event.
Cost: What – if anything – is the suggested contribution, or is it a set fee, or is no one turned away for lack of funds?
Description: In a sentence, or several sentences, say what is unique or especially appealing about your event.
Where: Event address, along with any cross-street info or parking tips you think are important.
More Info: Whom to call for more information?  List a telephone number, email address, and/or website.
Please give us as much lead time as possible, and note that submissions are subject to editing for clarity and space.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

SAA Meeting News

New Meetings:

Costa Mesa (NEW LOCATION Effective Aug. 3th 2015 – formerly at First Methodist Church of Costa Mesa):  

Monday, 7:30 – 9:00 pm
Men Only/Closed/Book Study
Costa Mesa Church of Christ, 287 W. Wilson Street, Costa Mesa, CA 92627
Directions:  Between Harbor Blvd. & Fairview Ave.
For more information call 949-478-5617

Corona Del Mar (NEW LOCATION Effective Aug. 5th 2015 – formerly at First Methodist Church of Costa Mesa):
Wednesday, 7:30 – 9:00 pm
Mixed/Closed/Book Study/Share
St. Michael & All Angels’ Episcopal  Church, 3233 Pacific View Drive, Corona Del Mar, CA 92625 (South Wing Room attached to Church – Enter thru Patio on the Right)
Directions: to be added to website soon! For more information call (949) 636-1917

Wednesday, 12:00 – 1:00 pm
Men only/Closed
Pines Park, 34941 Camino Capistrano, CA 92624
Directions: From the 5 Freeway head south on Camino De Estrella towards Coast Highway, turn right on to Camino Capistrano. Parking will be on the street on Camino Capistrano…….the meeting is held at the upper Park at the south end.
For more information call (949) 547-4498.

Wednesday, 5:00-6:00pm
Closed, men only
1900 E. 4th St., Conference Room 2A, Santa Ana 92705
Free parking in structure
Contact Frank P. (949) 842-3454

Thursday, 7:00-8:00 p.m.
Closed, men only
707 E. Chapman, Orange 92866
Building is close to Orange Traffic Circle, white with green trim, no suite number; parking lot adjacent to building
Contact Chris B. (949) 278-3642

Changes:

***Not NUTS Meeting Update!!
Moving to Church of Christ on Wed. nights from 7pm-8:30pm in the Family Room. Bill P is the contact.

***The Monday evening women’s book study meeting has relocated. The meeting time is 6:30pm-7:30pm in Huntington Beach.  Please call 657-215-1252 or email saawomensgroup@gmail.com for more details.

The Monday and Friday Long Beach meetings are no longer at Kaiser Permanente, 3900 E. Pacific Coast Hwy., Long Beach.  The new meeting times and locations are:
—Monday, 7:30-8:30 pm, Mixed/Closed/Step/Tradition/Topic
Unitarian Church, 5450 Atherton St., Long Beach (just West of Bellflower Blvd.), in the Chalice Room
Contact Carole B., 562-841-4348, or e-mail CAROLEMARY@NETZERO.COM
—Friday, 6:30-7:30 pm, Mixed/Closed/Step/Tradition/Topic
Unitarian Church, 5450 Atherton St., Long Beach (just West of Bellflower Blvd.), in the Chalice Room
Contact Carole B., 562-841-4348, or e-mail CAROLEMARY@NETZERO.COM

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Orange County Intergroup Officers and Committee Chairs

Our leaders are but trusted servants; they do not govern. — Tradition 2

Chair: Ron R., ocisaa.chair@gmail.com
Vice Chair: Vacant, ocisaa.vicechair@gmail.com
Digital Communications: Neal B., ocisaa.digicom1@gmail.com (Assistant: Reza B., ocisaa.digicom2@gmail.com)
Inreach: Frank, ocisaa.inreach@gmail.com
Outreach: Maurice B., ocisaa.outreach@gmail.com
Literature: Ron C., ocisaa.literature@gmail.com
Treasurer: Frank. (Vice Treasurer: Vacant), ocisaa.treasurer@gmail.com
Secretary: Steve W., ocisaa.secretary@gmail.com
Newsletter Editor:  Mark D., ocisaa.newsletter@gmail.com
Parliamentarian: Vacant

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Website

If you have ideas or suggestions for the website, please contact our Webmaster, Neal B., at ocisaa.digicom1@gmail.com.

by

MAY 2016

 

carry-the-messageThe purpose of our Intergroup is to more effectively reach the sex addict in the Orange County area who still suffers.  We meet the second Wednesday of each month from 7pm-8:30 p.m. at Lighthouse Church, 1885 Anaheim Ave., Costa Mesa CA 92627, in the Sanctuary.  All SAA members are welcome to participate.  If you can’t make it, meeting minutes are published on our website.  We want your ideas!

Annual Conference

The SAA 29th Annual Conference is rapidly approaching…May 27th – 30th, 2016 in Chi-Town…Chicago, IL. This conference is for delegates from each of the meetings to attend and provide valuable voices for their groups. Many meetings collect a donation for a separate scholarship fund which helps offset the cost incurred by their delegate. Each group has their way of getting the funds to the delegate and ISO has some funds to reimburse a portion of costs as well. Please speak with your groups and ensure your voice is heard. Also the conference is a great place to network and meet others in recovery and share stories of strength and hope in recovery.

Make sure your representatives are prepared to vote. It seems like it should be a great conference and hopefully productive. Thank you to all the delegates for dedicating your time, effort and money to attend on behalf of all of us. Be sure to check next month’s newsletter for conference updates.

 * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

My Share

Each month, we publish a personal but anonymous story of recovery.  It can be either an autobiography or about a subject important to your recovery.  Stories should be written in the first person (“I”) and speak from your experience, strength, and hope.  Please submit your story to ocisaa.newsletter@gmail.com.  We may edit submissions for reasons of space, clarity, and appropriate language.  Here is this month’s story:

The Hardest Step to Take 

Admitting you have a problem is the first step, or so they say. The first step is more than admitting we have a problem, it’s a detailed account of our problem, our behavior, our sickness. To venture down this path takes courage, strength, integrity, faith, determination and openness. We bare our secrets to the group…strangers in a sense yet familiar and understanding. The group welcomes us and knows the courage that it takes to even sit down and face them.

We say the serenity prayer to know peace. We take a deep breath…3, 2, 1…

My name is ______ and I’m a sex addict. From that point on whether we truly believe it or not, our higher power is there guiding us through the task ahead. We lay out our secrets and bring them to the light. We feel shame but also a feeling of weight lifted from our shoulders because we faced that shame and saw the reassurance and acceptance from the group. The faces read the same, you are home and we understand. Our story pours from our soul and each sentence forms a bit easier and there is a calm that envelopes us. By being honest we strip away the power this sickness holds over us. Our willingness to forge ahead provides us with a new feeling of relief and even elation. Others see the effects and reflect on their own experiences.

You’ve taken the first step and now you can begin the healing process.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Intergroup Project Updates

Survey 

We are tallying the results of the 2015 Fellowship Survey…

Retaining Newcomers

As always, we want to reach out and retain newcomers since most of us know that abstinence and sobriety is better maintained out of isolation and in the fellowship of others.  Please consider ways to retain newcomers and ensure they feel welcome as I know we all do.

Website Traffic

We continue to receive visitors to our website, http://www.ocisaa.org, with 1,325 visitors and 756 people actively looking through the site and primarily using the meeting location tab.   Our website is a valuable for those in recovery as well as those seeking recovery.

Internet Keyword Search Optimization

Our internet keyword search through Google is a big success so far.  In April 2016, we had 483 clicks and 16,591 impressions. As a result of this endeavor we are reaching a new audience which is great.  This is continuing to be a worthwhile venture and it brings the sex addict who still suffers to our page, hopefully meetings and most importantly to recovery.

We will also be adding word search terms for women who are suffering from this addiction. We have received several contacts from women through the adword project.

The Dallas and Los Angeles Intergroups contacted us for information on this project and we happily shared our experience and success with them.

Craigslist

The responses continue to ads we placed for SAA on the Orange County Craigslist website.  Sex addicts going there to act out are being presented with an opportunity for recovery, and for some of them, it’s working!

 * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Announcements & Newsnotes

The OC Intergroup meeting day has changed. OC Intergroup now meets the 2nd Wednesday of each month at 7pm at the same location, Lighthouse Church Costa Mesa in the Sanctuary.

Costa Mesa Noon Meetings

We have found a new location for the Costa Mesa Noon Meetings…
Orange Coast Unitarian Universalist Church located at:
2845 Mesa Verde Dr. East – Suite 4
Costa Mesa, CA 92626

  • They are also looking for speakers for Monday meetings to speak for 15 minutes on how they found recovery. Requires 6 months or more of sobriety to speak. Contact Lee at (714)318-8932 if interested.

A Message for Sponsors

We suggest you consider stressing to your sponsees the importance of service work such as volunteering for positions at their meetings.  Early in recovery, service work gives recovering sex addicts something to feel good about when they need it most.  Later on, it becomes Step 12 work, a very healthy activity and again a builder of self-esteem.  Some sponsors we know feel so strongly about it that they advise their sponsees either to fill a service position or find another sponsor!

Intergroup Vacancies

Our Intergroup has one vacant position and a need for website contributors.  These are great opportunities to be of service, and they generally require little or no special expertise.

►  The Chair person is opening in February 2016. The duties generally occupy a few hours each month. The chair is also responsible for leading the monthly Intergroup meetings and providing direction for the group to ensure we are reaching everyone in recovery.

► The Vice Chair works with the Chair to coordinate the Intergroup’s overall activities such as preparing the monthly agenda and helping with surveys.  It’s estimated that Vice Chair duties take about 2-4 hours per month, plus the monthly Intergroup meeting.

► The Vice Treasurer works with the Treasurer to manage Intergroup funds.  The duties generally occupy minimal time – just an hour most months.  Attendance at the monthly Intergroup meeting is encouraged.  This position requires one year of abstinence.

► Digi Com Chair is responsible for maintaining the website and generally requires 2-4 hours each month. Attendance at the monthly Intergroup meeting is encouraged.

►  We are looking for people with website experience of any kind, including those who are willing to learn.


Needed:  Intergroup Representatives

Only 25% of our meetings have an intergroup rep. The commitment is approximately an hour a month for the intergroup meeting and then a report at least once a month to the group being represented. If your meeting still lacks an Intergroup rep, please tell your secretary that you need one.  For more information, contact us at ocisaa.inreach@gmail.com.  We highly recommend you find someone to fill this service position.  We also suggest if possible, that your group allocate a percentage of its donations to the Intergroup for its activities, which benefit all SAA groups in the region.

Thanks for Your Donations!

We are grateful for the support we receive from the Orange County area SAA meetings.  As you can see from our activities listed in this newsletter, we are putting your donations to good use.  We encourage you to attend our monthly meetings and voice your ideas.

A Note to Event Promoters and Organizers: For those requesting announcements to run in our newsletter, please use the following format – and order – as much as possible:

Who: Are you a committee (of the Intergroup, for example), or an individual SAA meeting group, or another type of organization or individual?
What: Is this a workshop, breakfast, retreat, or another type of event?
Title: What is the name of your event?
When: Give the date and starting and ending times of your event.
Cost: What – if anything – is the suggested contribution, or is it a set fee, or is no one turned away for lack of funds?
Description: In a sentence, or several sentences, say what is unique or especially appealing about your event.
Where: Event address, along with any cross-street info or parking tips you think are important.
More Info: Whom to call for more information?  List a telephone number, email address, and/or website.
Please give us as much lead time as possible, and note that submissions are subject to editing for clarity and space.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

SAA Meeting News

New Meetings:

Costa Mesa (NEW LOCATION Effective Aug. 3th 2015 – formerly at First Methodist Church of Costa Mesa):  

Monday, 7:30 – 9:00 pm
Men Only/Closed/Book Study
Costa Mesa Church of Christ, 287 W. Wilson Street, Costa Mesa, CA 92627
Directions:  Between Harbor Blvd. & Fairview Ave.
For more information call 949-478-5617

Corona Del Mar (NEW LOCATION Effective Aug. 5th 2015 – formerly at First Methodist Church of Costa Mesa):
Wednesday, 7:30 – 9:00 pm
Mixed/Closed/Book Study/Share
St. Michael & All Angels’ Episcopal  Church, 3233 Pacific View Drive, Corona Del Mar, CA 92625 (South Wing Room attached to Church – Enter thru Patio on the Right)
Directions: to be added to website soon! For more information call (949) 636-1917

Wednesday, 12:00 – 1:00 pm
Men only/Closed
Pines Park, 34941 Camino Capistrano, CA 92624
Directions: From the 5 Freeway head south on Camino De Estrella towards Coast Highway, turn right on to Camino Capistrano. Parking will be on the street on Camino Capistrano…….the meeting is held at the upper Park at the south end.
For more information call (949) 547-4498.

Wednesday, 5:00-6:00pm
Closed, men only
1900 E. 4th St., Conference Room 2A, Santa Ana 92705
Free parking in structure
Contact Frank P. (949) 842-3454

Thursday, 7:00-8:00 p.m.
Closed, men only
707 E. Chapman, Orange 92866
Building is close to Orange Traffic Circle, white with green trim, no suite number; parking lot adjacent to building
Contact Chris B. (949) 278-3642

Changes:

***Not NUTS Meeting Update!!
Moving to Church of Christ on Wed. nights from 7pm-8:30pm in the Family Room. Bill P is the contact.

***The Monday evening women’s book study meeting has relocated. The meeting time is 6:30pm-7:30pm in Huntington Beach.  Please call 657-215-1252 or email saawomensgroup@gmail.com for more details.

The Monday and Friday Long Beach meetings are no longer at Kaiser Permanente, 3900 E. Pacific Coast Hwy., Long Beach.  The new meeting times and locations are:
—Monday, 7:30-8:30 pm, Mixed/Closed/Step/Tradition/Topic
Unitarian Church, 5450 Atherton St., Long Beach (just West of Bellflower Blvd.), in the Chalice Room
Contact Carole B., 562-841-4348, or e-mail CAROLEMARY@NETZERO.COM
—Friday, 6:30-7:30 pm, Mixed/Closed/Step/Tradition/Topic
Unitarian Church, 5450 Atherton St., Long Beach (just West of Bellflower Blvd.), in the Chalice Room
Contact Carole B., 562-841-4348, or e-mail CAROLEMARY@NETZERO.COM

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Orange County Intergroup Officers and Committee Chairs

Our leaders are but trusted servants; they do not govern. — Tradition 2

Chair: Ron R., ocisaa.chair@gmail.com
Vice Chair: Vacant, ocisaa.vicechair@gmail.com
Digital Communications: Neal B., ocisaa.digicom1@gmail.com (Assistant: Reza B., ocisaa.digicom2@gmail.com)
Inreach: Frank, ocisaa.inreach@gmail.com
Outreach: Maurice B., ocisaa.outreach@gmail.com
Literature: Ron C., ocisaa.literature@gmail.com
Treasurer: Frank. (Vice Treasurer: Vacant), ocisaa.treasurer@gmail.com
Secretary: Steve W., ocisaa.secretary@gmail.com
Newsletter Editor:  Mark D., ocisaa.newsletter@gmail.com
Parliamentarian: Vacant

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Website

If you have ideas or suggestions for the website, please contact our Webmaster, Neal B., at ocisaa.digicom1@gmail.com.

by

March 2016

 

carry-the-messageThe purpose of our Intergroup is to more effectively reach the sex addict in the Orange County area who still suffers.  We meet the second Wednesday of each month from 7pm-8:30 p.m. at Lighthouse Church, 1885 Anaheim Ave., Costa Mesa CA 92627, in the Sanctuary.  All SAA members are welcome to participate.  If you can’t make it, meeting minutes are published on our website.  We want your ideas!

Annual Conference

The SAA 29th Annual Conference is rapidly approaching…May 27th – 30th, 2016 in Chi-Town…Chicago, IL. This conference is for delegates from each of the meetings to attend and provide valuable voices for their groups. Many meetings collect a donation for a separate scholarship fund which helps offset the cost incurred by their delegate. Each group has their way of getting the funds to the delegate and ISO has some funds to reimburse a portion of costs as well. Please speak with your groups and ensure your voice is heard. Also the conference is a great place to network and meet others in recovery and share stories of strength and hope in recovery.

 * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

My Share

Each month, we publish a personal but anonymous story of recovery.  It can be either an autobiography or about a subject important to your recovery.  Stories should be written in the first person (“I”) and speak from your experience, strength, and hope.  Please submit your story to ocisaa.newsletter@gmail.com.  We may edit submissions for reasons of space, clarity, and appropriate language.  Here is this month’s story:

HAPPINESS 

This month a brother in the program wanted to express his thoughts in words…he has a blog, “Farajsmusings”. This is an excerpt from his post on Happiness:

Everybody has a different definition of this word; some define it by their wealth or material possessions, some by their fun activities or spending time with friends and family, some by their spirituality and connection with a higher power. Yet there are many that claim to be unhappy, despite all that they have. So, why exactly is it hard to be happy?

I experience this kind of unhappiness from time to time. I haven’t dabbled much in drugs (and I don’t intend to do so), but the only recreational drugs that I have experimented with are tobacco and caffeine, and not at the same time. Some drugs are classified as recreational primarily because of their euphoric effects. I have experience temporary euphoria from tobacco, although it didn’t seem worth it to continue smoking because of the side effects, and also because the money I spend on cigarettes or hookah could be used elsewhere. But my intent to smoke was to mainly relieve stress I was experiencing. I’ll admit, I’m a bit stressed right now (which is why I’m writing this) and I’m really craving a cigarette, but I know I shouldn’t smoke. It may relieve the stress temporarily making me forget my problems for a little bit, but these problems surface again after the euphoria fades away. I feel unhappy afterwards. So relieving stress and the absence of stress alone don’t characterize happiness.

This could possibly be because such methods of treating stress or unhappiness only attempt to treat the symptoms, and not the cause of this unhappiness. What could the cause of unhappiness be? Could it be from circumstantial stress like work, school or family? Possibly, yes. So maybe trying to resolve those issues might help. Yet people who have little to no such problems still claim unhappiness. So there could be another component.

My theory has to do with spirituality. I don’t claim to be an expert on spirituality. As a Muslim, I don’t want to call myself devout or consistently practicing because I have certain challenges with it. But I have experienced a feeling of happiness that goes beyond euphoria when I work on my spiritual growth. An act as simple as reading from the Qur’an or prayer makes me feel a sense of peace. Some may claim that this could merely be the result of classical conditioning having been raised this way, or because of a self fulfilling prophecy, but if you think that way I ask that you keep an open mind for just a little bit till you reach the end of this essay. Many others have claimed that they feel a sense of peace with happiness, some of them having had no spirituality or religion before. You may see this as anecdotal evidence, but there has been research that suggests the positive effects of spirituality and/or spiritual practices. I would cite some research here, but I encourage you to do that research yourself and let you reach a conclusion on this matter yourself…

This writing was very uplifting…if you would like to continue reading this on Faraj’s blog, I have included the link here: http://farajsmusings.blogspot.com/2015/03/happiness.html?m=1

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Intergroup Project Updates

Survey 

We are tallying the results of the 2015 Fellowship Survey…

Retaining Newcomers

As always, we want to reach out and retain newcomers since most of us know that abstinence and sobriety is better maintained out of isolation and in the fellowship of others.  Please consider ways to retain newcomers and ensure they feel welcome as I know we all do.

Website Traffic

We continue to receive visitors to our website, http://www.ocisaa.org, with 1,196 visitors. Our website is a valuable for those in recovery as well as those seeking recovery.

Internet Keyword Search Optimization

Our internet keyword search through Google is a big success so far.  In February 2016, we had 320 clicks and 10,228 impressions which is 3,930 more than January  If you recall, the budget was $50/month and it was voted to increase this budget to $100/month to achieve even more notice.  As a result of this endeavor we are reaching a new audience which is great.  This is continuing to be a worthwhile venture and it brings the sex addict who still suffers to our page, hopefully meetings and most importantly to recovery.

The Dallas and Los Angeles Intergroups contacted us for information on this project and we happily shared our experience and success with them.

Craigslist

The responses continue to ads we placed for SAA on the Orange County Craigslist website.  Sex addicts going there to act out are being presented with an opportunity for recovery, and for some of them, it’s working!

 * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Announcements & Newsnotes

The OC Intergroup meeting day has changed. OC Intergroup now meets the 2nd Wednesday of each month at 7pm at the same location, Lighthouse Church Costa Mesa in the Sanctuary.

Costa Mesa Noon Meetings

We have found a new location for the Costa Mesa Noon Meetings…
Orange Coast Unitarian Universalist Church located at:
2845 Mesa Verde Dr. East – Suite 4
Costa Mesa, CA 92626

  • They are also looking for speakers for Monday meetings to speak for 15 minutes on how they found recovery. Requires 6 months or more of sobriety to speak. Contact Lee at (714)318-8932 if interested.

A Message for Sponsors

We suggest you consider stressing to your sponsees the importance of service work such as volunteering for positions at their meetings.  Early in recovery, service work gives recovering sex addicts something to feel good about when they need it most.  Later on, it becomes Step 12 work, a very healthy activity and again a builder of self-esteem.  Some sponsors we know feel so strongly about it that they advise their sponsees either to fill a service position or find another sponsor!

Intergroup Vacancies

Our Intergroup has one vacant position and a need for website contributors.  These are great opportunities to be of service, and they generally require little or no special expertise.

►  The Chair person is opening in February 2016. The duties generally occupy a few hours each month. The chair is also responsible for leading the monthly Intergroup meetings and providing direction for the group to ensure we are reaching everyone in recovery.

► The Vice Chair works with the Chair to coordinate the Intergroup’s overall activities such as preparing the monthly agenda and helping with surveys.  It’s estimated that Vice Chair duties take about 2-4 hours per month, plus the monthly Intergroup meeting.

► The Vice Treasurer works with the Treasurer to manage Intergroup funds.  The duties generally occupy minimal time – just an hour most months.  Attendance at the monthly Intergroup meeting is encouraged.  This position requires one year of abstinence.

► Digi Com Chair is responsible for maintaining the website and generally requires 2-4 hours each month. Attendance at the monthly Intergroup meeting is encouraged.

►  We are looking for people with website experience of any kind, including those who are willing to learn.


Needed:  Intergroup Representatives

Only 25% of our meetings have an intergroup rep. The commitment is approximately an hour a month for the intergroup meeting and then a report at least once a month to the group being represented. If your meeting still lacks an Intergroup rep, please tell your secretary that you need one.  For more information, contact us at ocisaa.inreach@gmail.com.  We highly recommend you find someone to fill this service position.  We also suggest if possible, that your group allocate a percentage of its donations to the Intergroup for its activities, which benefit all SAA groups in the region.

Thanks for Your Donations!

We are grateful for the support we receive from the Orange County area SAA meetings.  As you can see from our activities listed in this newsletter, we are putting your donations to good use.  We encourage you to attend our monthly meetings and voice your ideas.

A Note to Event Promoters and Organizers: For those requesting announcements to run in our newsletter, please use the following format – and order – as much as possible:

Who: Are you a committee (of the Intergroup, for example), or an individual SAA meeting group, or another type of organization or individual?
What: Is this a workshop, breakfast, retreat, or another type of event?
Title: What is the name of your event?
When: Give the date and starting and ending times of your event.
Cost: What – if anything – is the suggested contribution, or is it a set fee, or is no one turned away for lack of funds?
Description: In a sentence, or several sentences, say what is unique or especially appealing about your event.
Where: Event address, along with any cross-street info or parking tips you think are important.
More Info: Whom to call for more information?  List a telephone number, email address, and/or website.
Please give us as much lead time as possible, and note that submissions are subject to editing for clarity and space.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

SAA Meeting News

New Meetings:

Costa Mesa (NEW LOCATION Effective Aug. 3th 2015 – formerly at First Methodist Church of Costa Mesa):  

Monday, 7:30 – 9:00 pm
Men Only/Closed/Book Study
Costa Mesa Church of Christ, 287 W. Wilson Street, Costa Mesa, CA 92627
Directions:  Between Harbor Blvd. & Fairview Ave.
For more information call 949-478-5617

Corona Del Mar (NEW LOCATION Effective Aug. 5th 2015 – formerly at First Methodist Church of Costa Mesa):
Wednesday, 7:30 – 9:00 pm
Mixed/Closed/Book Study/Share
St. Michael & All Angels’ Episcopal  Church, 3233 Pacific View Drive, Corona Del Mar, CA 92625 (South Wing Room attached to Church – Enter thru Patio on the Right)
Directions: to be added to website soon! For more information call (949) 636-1917

Wednesday, 12:00 – 1:00 pm
Men only/Closed
Pines Park, 34941 Camino Capistrano, CA 92624
Directions: From the 5 Freeway head south on Camino De Estrella towards Coast Highway, turn right on to Camino Capistrano. Parking will be on the street on Camino Capistrano…….the meeting is held at the upper Park at the south end.
For more information call (949) 547-4498.

Wednesday, 5:00-6:00pm
Closed, men only
1900 E. 4th St., Conference Room 2A, Santa Ana 92705
Free parking in structure
Contact Frank P. (949) 842-3454

Thursday, 7:00-8:00 p.m.
Closed, men only
707 E. Chapman, Orange 92866
Building is close to Orange Traffic Circle, white with green trim, no suite number; parking lot adjacent to building
Contact Chris B. (949) 278-3642

Changes:

***Not NUTS Meeting Update!!
Moving to Church of Christ on Wed. nights from 7pm-8:30pm in the Family Room. Bill P is the contact.

***The Monday evening women’s book study meeting has relocated. The meeting time is 6:30pm-7:30pm. Please call 657-215-1252 or email saawomensgroup@gmail.com for more details.

The Monday and Friday Long Beach meetings are no longer at Kaiser Permanente, 3900 E. Pacific Coast Hwy., Long Beach.  The new meeting times and locations are:
—Monday, 7:30-8:30 pm, Mixed/Closed/Step/Tradition/Topic
Unitarian Church, 5450 Atherton St., Long Beach (just West of Bellflower Blvd.), in the Chalice Room
Contact Carole B., 562-841-4348, or e-mail CAROLEMARY@NETZERO.COM
—Friday, 6:30-7:30 pm, Mixed/Closed/Step/Tradition/Topic
Unitarian Church, 5450 Atherton St., Long Beach (just West of Bellflower Blvd.), in the Chalice Room
Contact Carole B., 562-841-4348, or e-mail CAROLEMARY@NETZERO.COM

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Orange County Intergroup Officers and Committee Chairs

Our leaders are but trusted servants; they do not govern. — Tradition 2

Chair: Ron R., ocisaa.chair@gmail.com
Vice Chair: Vacant, ocisaa.vicechair@gmail.com
Digital Communications: Neal B., ocisaa.digicom1@gmail.com (Assistant: Reza B., ocisaa.digicom2@gmail.com)
Inreach: Frank, ocisaa.inreach@gmail.com
Outreach: Maurice B., ocisaa.outreach@gmail.com
Literature: Ron C., ocisaa.literature@gmail.com
Treasurer: Frank. (Vice Treasurer: Vacant), ocisaa.treasurer@gmail.com
Secretary: Steve W., ocisaa.secretary@gmail.com
Newsletter Editor:  Mark D., ocisaa.newsletter@gmail.com
Parliamentarian: Vacant

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Website

If you have ideas or suggestions for the website, please contact our Webmaster, Neal B., at ocisaa.digicom1@gmail.com.

by

December 2015

 

carry-the-messageThe purpose of our Intergroup is to more effectively reach the sex addict in the Orange County area who still suffers.  We meet the second Thursday of each month from 7:15-8:30 p.m. at Lighthouse Church, 1885 Anaheim Ave., Costa Mesa CA 92627.  All SAA members are welcome to participate.  If you can’t make it, meeting minutes are published on our website.  We want your ideas!

RECHARGE AND COME TO THE RETREAT

Our next retreat is scheduled for Saturday January 30th, 2016 from 9am – 5pm at The Lighthouse Church located at 1885 Anaheim Ave. Costa Mesa, CA 92627. The cost is $25 (lunch provided). This is limited to the first 70 people. Coffee, water, fruit and some pastries will be provided in the morning. Checks can be sent to OCISAA, P.O. Box 12424 Costa Mesa, CA 92627 (indicate “retreat” on check). Also you can register and pay here on the website under the event tab and pay using PayPal. Please ensure you register at least 5 days in advance so we can plan for food.

Coming into the New Year a retreat is a great way to start 2016 with some fellowship and positive recovery. The holidays can bring us into isolation and draw us toward the inner circle. A retreat is a great outer circle activity and can connect us to others whom may need some fellowship as well…bonus service to others!! We look forward to seeing you at the retreat.

 

 * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

My Share

Each month, we publish a personal but anonymous story of recovery.  It can be either an autobiography or about a subject important to your recovery.  Stories should be written in the first person (“I”) and speak from your experience, strength, and hope.  Please submit your story to ocisaa.newsletter@gmail.com.  We may edit submissions for reasons of space, clarity, and appropriate language.  Here is this month’s story:


RESOLUTIONS…One Day at a Time

“Once you have established the goals you want and the price you’re willing to pay, you can ignore the minor hurts, the opponent’s pressure and the temporary failures.” – Vince Lombardi

In reading this quote, yes I am a Packers fan, I find a profound relationship to recovery. The opponent is this addiction, the minor hurts are just that. The temporary failures don’t last and teach us how to proceed if we listen. Recovery takes many forms and we must move one day at a time or success seems unattainable.

Sexual addiction is unlike any other addiction, at least that’s what I keep hearing. Sex is everywhere and unlike drugs or food or alcohol, unless we become hermits and isolate, sex is out there. Triggers and situations present themselves and make our recovery a real and constant struggle. The addiction is practicing, learning our weaknesses and waiting for the hole to and open sack us. We have to be on the offensive and arm ourselves against those hurts or holes that leave us vulnerable to the defense who trying to knock us down and make us lose ground. Failures are part of life, we must learn from them and carry on to succeed.

As we enter 2016, we step into a new arena…the recovery arena and we have some challenges to overcome but through our higher power, our fellowship and service to others we can overcome and beat this opponent.

 

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Intergroup Project Updates

Survey 

Please take a moment and complete a Fellowship survey so we can address and determine: How many of us there are in our fellowship and how we found this fellowship plus a few more questions. The feedback will us continue to grow and reach the sex addict who still suffers and provide us with topics for our Bi-Annual Retreats.  Thank in advance and if you need a survey please let us know and we can get you one.

Retaining Newcomers

As always, we want to reach out and retain newcomers since most of us know that abstinence and sobriety is better maintained out of isolation and in the fellowship of others.  Please consider ways to retain newcomers and ensure they feel welcome as I know we all do.

Website Activity

Our website activity continues to grow…in 2013 we had just 6,250 views and 1,996 visitors. In 2015 we had 15,472 views and 7,721 visitors which is almost a 75% increase in visitors. In 2014 we had 10,973 views and 4,312 visitors. We are making a difference and reaching out. With these encouraging numbers 2016 looks even more promising.

Internet Keyword Search Optimization

Our internet keyword search through Google is a big success so far.  In November 2015 we had 330 clicks and 8,275 impressions at an average cost of $0.14 each.  The budget was $50/month and it was voted to increase this budget to $100/month to achieve even more notice.  Of the 330 clicks, 303 were looking to act out and 27 were looking for help. Out Google Ad Word has been a great success  with over 60,000 impressions (chances for people to see our program). We’ve had several phone calls and visits to our meetings as a result of these endeavors. 12,142 impressions, 307 click throughs.  We are reaching a new audience which is great.  This is continuing to be a worthwhile venture and it brings the sex addict who still suffers to our page, hopefully meetings and most importantly to recovery.

Craigslist

The responses continue to ads we placed for SAA on the Orange County Craigslist website.  Sex addicts going there to act out are being presented with an opportunity for recovery, and for some of them, it’s working!

 * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Announcements & Newsnotes

Costa Mesa Noon Meetings

We have found a new location for the Costa Mesa Noon Meetings…
Orange Coast Unitarian Universalist Church located at:
2845 Mesa Verde Dr. East – Suite 4
Costa Mesa, CA 92626

  • They are also looking for speakers for Monday meetings to speak for 15 minutes on how they found recovery. Requires 6 months or more of sobriety to speak. Contact Lee at (714)318-8932 if interested.

A Message for Sponsors

We suggest you consider stressing to your sponsees the importance of service work such as volunteering for positions at their meetings.  Early in recovery, service work gives recovering sex addicts something to feel good about when they need it most.  Later on, it becomes Step 12 work, a very healthy activity and again a builder of self-esteem.  Some sponsors we know feel so strongly about it that they advise their sponsees either to fill a service position or find another sponsor!

Intergroup Vacancies

Our Intergroup has one vacant position and a need for website contributors.  These are great opportunities to be of service, and they generally require little or no special expertise.

►  The Chair person is opening in February 2016. The duties generally occupy a few hours each month. The chair is also responsible for leading the monthly Intergroup meetings and providing direction for the group to ensure we are reaching everyone in recovery.

► The Vice Chair works with the Chair to coordinate the Intergroup’s overall activities such as preparing the monthly agenda and helping with surveys.  It’s estimated that Vice Chair duties take about 2-4 hours per month, plus the monthly Intergroup meeting.

► The Vice Treasurer works with the Treasurer to manage Intergroup funds.  The duties generally occupy minimal time – just an hour most months.  Attendance at the monthly Intergroup meeting is encouraged.  This position requires one year of abstinence.

► Digi Com Chair is responsible for maintaining the website and generally requires 2-4 hours each month. Attendance at the monthly Intergroup meeting is encouraged.

►  We are looking for people with website experience of any kind, including those who are willing to learn.

Needed:  Intergroup Representatives

Only 25% of our meetings have an intergroup rep. The commitment is approximately an hour a month for the intergroup meeting and then a report at least once a month to the group being represented. If your meeting still lacks an Intergroup rep, please tell your secretary that you need one.  For more information, contact us at ocisaa.inreach@gmail.com.  We highly recommend you find someone to fill this service position.  We also suggest if possible, that your group allocate a percentage of its donations to the Intergroup for its activities, which benefit all SAA groups in the region.

Thanks for Your Donations!

We are grateful for the support we receive from the Orange County area SAA meetings.  As you can see from our activities listed in this newsletter, we are putting your donations to good use.  We encourage you to attend our monthly meetings and voice your ideas.

A Note to Event Promoters and Organizers: For those requesting announcements to run in our newsletter, please use the following format – and order – as much as possible:

Who: Are you a committee (of the Intergroup, for example), or an individual SAA meeting group, or another type of organization or individual?
What: Is this a workshop, breakfast, retreat, or another type of event?
Title: What is the name of your event?
When: Give the date and starting and ending times of your event.
Cost: What – if anything – is the suggested contribution, or is it a set fee, or is no one turned away for lack of funds?
Description: In a sentence, or several sentences, say what is unique or especially appealing about your event.
Where: Event address, along with any cross-street info or parking tips you think are important.
More Info: Whom to call for more information?  List a telephone number, email address, and/or website.
Please give us as much lead time as possible, and note that submissions are subject to editing for clarity and space.

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SAA Meeting News

New Meetings:

Costa Mesa (NEW LOCATION Effective Aug. 3th 2015 – formerly at First Methodist Church of Costa Mesa):  

Monday, 7:30 – 9:00 pm
Men Only/Closed/Book Study
Costa Mesa Church of Christ, 287 W. Wilson Street, Costa Mesa, CA 92627
Directions:  Between Harbor Blvd. & Fairview Ave.
For more information call 949-478-5617

Corona Del Mar (NEW LOCATION Effective Aug. 5th 2015 – formerly at First Methodist Church of Costa Mesa):
Wednesday, 7:30 – 9:00 pm
Mixed/Closed/Book Study/Share
St. Michael & All Angels’ Episcopal  Church, 3233 Pacific View Drive, Corona Del Mar, CA 92625 (South Wing Room attached to Church – Enter thru Patio on the Right)
Directions: to be added to website soon! For more information call (949) 636-1917

Wednesday, 12:00 – 1:00 pm
Men only/Closed
Pines Park, 34941 Camino Capistrano, CA 92624
Directions: From the 5 Freeway head south on Camino De Estrella towards Coast Highway, turn right on to Camino Capistrano. Parking will be on the street on Camino Capistrano…….the meeting is held at the upper Park at the south end.
For more information call (949) 547-4498.

Wednesday, 5:00-6:00pm
Closed, men only
1900 E. 4th St., Conference Room 2A, Santa Ana 92705
Free parking in structure
Contact Frank P. (949) 842-3454

Thursday, 7:00-8:00 p.m.
Closed, men only
707 E. Chapman, Orange 92866
Building is close to Orange Traffic Circle, white with green trim, no suite number; parking lot adjacent to building
Contact Chris B. (949) 278-3642

Tuesday, 7:00-8:30 p.m.
Closed, mixed
Book study/Check-in
First Southern Baptist Church, Dining Room
6801 Western Ave., Buena Park, CA 90621 (just north of Orangethorpe Ave.)
Contact Maurice B. (714) 683-8663/motrago@hotmail.com

Changes:

The Monday evening women’s book study meeting has relocated.  Please call 714-485-3655 or email womeninsaa@gmail.com for more details.

The Tuesday morning 6:30 a.m. meeting at the First Methodist Church in Costa Mesa has been canceled.

The Friday morning meeting at the Alano Club has been canceled.

The Monday and Friday Long Beach meetings are no longer at Kaiser Permanente, 3900 E. Pacific Coast Hwy., Long Beach.  The new meeting times and locations are:
—Monday, 7:30-8:30 pm, Mixed/Closed/Step/Tradition/Topic
Unitarian Church, 5450 Atherton St., Long Beach (just West of Bellflower Blvd.), in the Chalice Room
Contact Carole B., 562-841-4348, or e-mail CAROLEMARY@NETZERO.COM
—Friday, 6:30-7:30 pm, Mixed/Closed/Step/Tradition/Topic
Unitarian Church, 5450 Atherton St., Long Beach (just West of Bellflower Blvd.), in the Chalice Room
Contact Carole B., 562-841-4348, or e-mail CAROLEMARY@NETZERO.COM

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Orange County Intergroup Officers and Committee Chairs

Our leaders are but trusted servants; they do not govern. — Tradition 2

Chair: Ron R., ocisaa.chair@gmail.com
Vice Chair: Vacant, ocisaa.vicechair@gmail.com
Digital Communications: Neal B., ocisaa.digicom1@gmail.com (Assistant: Reza B., ocisaa.digicom2@gmail.com)
Inreach: Frank, ocisaa.inreach@gmail.com
Outreach: Maurice B., ocisaa.outreach@gmail.com
Literature: Ron C., ocisaa.literature@gmail.com
Treasurer: Frank. (Vice Treasurer: Vacant), ocisaa.treasurer@gmail.com
Secretary: Steve W., ocisaa.secretary@gmail.com
Newsletter Editor:  Mark D., ocisaa.newsletter@gmail.com
Parliamentarian: Vacant

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Website

If you have ideas or suggestions for the website, please contact our Webmaster, Neal B., at ocisaa.digicom1@gmail.com.

by

November 2015

carry-the-messageThe purpose of our Intergroup is to more effectively reach the sex addict in the Orange County area who still suffers.  We meet the second Thursday of each month from 7:15-8:30 p.m. at Lighthouse Church, 1885 Anaheim Ave., Costa Mesa CA 92627.  All SAA members are welcome to participate.  If you can’t make it, meeting minutes are published on our website.  We want your ideas!

Holidays and Recovery

 

As most of are aware, we tend to isolate and delve into our middle circles when times get rough. In that indulgence of the middle circle we can spiral into the inner circle and lose control.  Families and the stress of holidays and emotions all drive us to that middle circle unless we are fully equipped and ready to handle the load.  Picking up that thousand pound phone to reach out and ask for a hand or to extend a hand can be the hardest challenge for each of us. During this holiday season make the commitment to stay out of isolation and be present in the spirit of these happy times of year.  I know many of us have endured pain during the holidays but lets work on being grateful and knockout gratitude list each day to remind us all we have to be grateful for each day…

Waking up
Freedom
Coffee
Living in the Golden State
Our kids or grand kids or nieces/nephews
Our struggles that have shaped us
etc…

Being grateful for the little things that can mean so much to us makes the bad days a bit more tolerable.  Lets remember to take care of each other and make the call or grab lunch or coffee and foster the fellowship to keep us all from isolating. Let us give thanks this month especially.

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My Share

Each month, we publish a personal but anonymous story of recovery.  It can be either an autobiography or about a subject important to your recovery.  Stories should be written in the first person (“I”) and speak from your experience, strength, and hope.  Please submit your story to ocisaa.newsletter@gmail.com.  We may edit submissions for reasons of space, clarity, and appropriate language.  Here is this month’s story:

I Hate This Disease!

I hate this disease!!! It has taken time away from me, time I cannot replace.  It has consumed me, my money, my time and my thoughts. This disease had caused me grief, turmoil and shame. I have lost relationships, trust and a sense of morals. I hate this disease, yet I let it control me. I allowed myself to follow down the dark path into shame, guilt and despair. My own actions only served to draw out the disease. I didn’t fight it…I didn’t prevent it and for so long I never realized it was festering inside. It was like a cancer. My ex-wife is the one who brought it to light and I am forever grateful for that. This disease is what caused me to drive her away because I didn’t realize the pain and emptiness I caused. It ripped apart my world.

While I hate this disease, I embrace it. In working the steps and recovery, I have discovered more about myself, unlocked pieces of my past and identified character defects. I have learned to be patient, to take it one day at a time. This disease is a part of me but it does not make me. The phone still weighs a thousand pounds and I still don’t call my sponsor everyday however I am getting better at both. Progress not perfection in this disease is so very important. I hate this disease because recovery forces me out of isolation.  Recovery forces me to face my defects and shortcomings which is hard and something like work.  I won’t give up but damn this recovery thing is not easy. I have to face feelings and emotions without running to my addiction for solace and comfort like I have been accustomed to for so long.

While I hate this disease…this disease has taught me to love myself, be patient and work to be a better human being.

 

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Intergroup Project Updates

Retaining Newcomers

As always, we want to reach out and retain newcomers since most of us know that abstinence and sobriety is better maintained out of isolation and in the fellowship of others.  Please consider ways to retain newcomers and ensure they feel welcome as I know we all do.

Spanish-Speaking Outreach

We added a Spanish translation of the “12 & 12″ to our website and we now have a location for a Spanish-speaking meeting, details to follow.   We welcome your suggestions.

Internet Keyword Search Optimization

Our internet keyword search through Google is a big success so far.  In October 2015 we had 12,142 impressions, 307 click throughs.  We are reaching a new audience which is great.  Currently our monthly budgeted amount for this endeavor is $48 per month.  This is continuing to be a worthwhile venture and it brings the sex addict who still suffers to our page, hopefully meetings and most importantly to recovery.

Craigslist

The responses continue to ads we placed for SAA on the Orange County Craigslist website.  Sex addicts going there to act out are being presented with an opportunity for recovery, and for some of them, it’s working!

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Announcements & Newsnotes

Costa Mesa Meetings

We have found some new locations to replace those that were being held at the First Methodist Church of Costa Mesa.  The new locations are posted on the Meetings tab and are listed as replacements when you go through the list.  We still do not have a confirmed location for the noon meetings that had been held there.  Please keep checking the website for updates.

A Message for Sponsors

We suggest you consider stressing to your sponsees the importance of service work such as volunteering for positions at their meetings.  Early in recovery, service work gives recovering sex addicts something to feel good about when they need it most.  Later on, it becomes Step 12 work, a very healthy activity and again a builder of self-esteem.  Some sponsors we know feel so strongly about it that they advise their sponsees either to fill a service position or find another sponsor!

Intergroup Vacancies

Our Intergroup has one vacant position and a need for website contributors.  These are great opportunities to be of service, and they generally require little or no special expertise.

►  The Chair person is opening in February 2016. The duties generally occupy a few hours each month. The chair is also responsible for leading the monthly Intergroup meetings and providing direction for the group to ensure we are reaching everyone in recovery.

►  The Inreach Vice Chair/Coordinator has been filled.

►  We are looking for people with website experience of any kind, including those who are willing to learn.

Needed:  Intergroup Representatives

Only 25% of our meetings have an intergroup rep. The commitment is approximately an hour a month for the intergroup meeting and then a report at least once a month to the group being represented. If your meeting still lacks an Intergroup rep, please tell your secretary that you need one.  For more information, contact us at ocisaa.inreach@gmail.com.  We highly recommend you find someone to fill this service position.  We also suggest if possible, that your group allocate a percentage of its donations to the Intergroup for its activities, which benefit all SAA groups in the region.

Thanks for Your Donations!

We are grateful for the support we receive from the Orange County area SAA meetings.  As you can see from our activities listed in this newsletter, we are putting your donations to good use.  We encourage you to attend our monthly meetings and voice your ideas.

A Note to Event Promoters and Organizers: For those requesting announcements to run in our newsletter, please use the following format – and order – as much as possible:

Who: Are you a committee (of the Intergroup, for example), or an individual SAA meeting group, or another type of organization or individual?
What: Is this a workshop, breakfast, retreat, or another type of event?
Title: What is the name of your event?
When: Give the date and starting and ending times of your event.
Cost: What – if anything – is the suggested contribution, or is it a set fee, or is no one turned away for lack of funds?
Description: In a sentence, or several sentences, say what is unique or especially appealing about your event.
Where: Event address, along with any cross-street info or parking tips you think are important.
More Info: Whom to call for more information?  List a telephone number, email address, and/or website.
Please give us as much lead time as possible, and note that submissions are subject to editing for clarity and space.

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SAA Meeting News

New Meetings:

Costa Mesa (NEW LOCATION Effective Aug. 3th 2015 – formerly at First Methodist Church of Costa Mesa):  

Monday, 7:30 – 9:00 pm
Men Only/Closed/Book Study
Costa Mesa Church of Christ, 287 W. Wilson Street, Costa Mesa, CA 92627
Directions:  Between Harbor Blvd. & Fairview Ave.
For more information call 949-478-5617

Corona Del Mar (NEW LOCATION Effective Aug. 5th 2015 – formerly at First Methodist Church of Costa Mesa):
Wednesday, 7:30 – 9:00 pm
Mixed/Closed/Book Study/Share
St. Michael & All Angels’ Episcopal  Church, 3233 Pacific View Drive, Corona Del Mar, CA 92625 (South Wing Room attached to Church – Enter thru Patio on the Right)
Directions: to be added to website soon! For more information call (949) 636-1917

Wednesday, 12:00 – 1:00 pm
Men only/Closed
Pines Park, 34941 Camino Capistrano, CA 92624
Directions: From the 5 Freeway head south on Camino De Estrella towards Coast Highway, turn right on to Camino Capistrano. Parking will be on the street on Camino Capistrano…….the meeting is held at the upper Park at the south end.
For more information call (949) 547-4498.

Wednesday, 5:00-6:00pm
Closed, men only
1900 E. 4th St., Conference Room 2A, Santa Ana 92705
Free parking in structure
Contact Frank P. (949) 842-3454

Thursday, 7:00-8:00 p.m.
Closed, men only
707 E. Chapman, Orange 92866
Building is close to Orange Traffic Circle, white with green trim, no suite number; parking lot adjacent to building
Contact Chris B. (949) 278-3642

Tuesday, 7:00-8:30 p.m.
Closed, mixed
Book study/Check-in
First Southern Baptist Church, Dining Room
6801 Western Ave., Buena Park, CA 90621 (just north of Orangethorpe Ave.)
Contact Maurice B. (714) 683-8663/motrago@hotmail.com

Changes:

The Monday evening women’s book study meeting has relocated.  Please call 714-485-3655 or email womeninsaa@gmail.com for more details.

The Tuesday morning 6:30 a.m. meeting at the First Methodist Church in Costa Mesa has been canceled.

The Friday morning meeting at the Alano Club has been canceled.

The Monday and Friday Long Beach meetings are no longer at Kaiser Permanente, 3900 E. Pacific Coast Hwy., Long Beach.  The new meeting times and locations are:
—Monday, 7:30-8:30 pm, Mixed/Closed/Step/Tradition/Topic
Unitarian Church, 5450 Atherton St., Long Beach (just West of Bellflower Blvd.), in the Chalice Room
Contact Carole B., 562-841-4348, or e-mail CAROLEMARY@NETZERO.COM
—Friday, 6:30-7:30 pm, Mixed/Closed/Step/Tradition/Topic
Unitarian Church, 5450 Atherton St., Long Beach (just West of Bellflower Blvd.), in the Chalice Room
Contact Carole B., 562-841-4348, or e-mail CAROLEMARY@NETZERO.COM

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Orange County Intergroup Officers and Committee Chairs

Our leaders are but trusted servants; they do not govern. — Tradition 2

Chair: Ron R., ocisaa.chair@gmail.com
Vice Chair: Vacant, ocisaa.vicechair@gmail.com
Digital Communications: Neal B., ocisaa.digicom1@gmail.com (Assistant: Reza B., ocisaa.digicom2@gmail.com)
Inreach: Frank, ocisaa.inreach@gmail.com
Outreach: Maurice B., ocisaa.outreach@gmail.com
Literature: Ron C., ocisaa.literature@gmail.com
Treasurer: Brian A. (Vice Treasurer: Vacant), ocisaa.treasurer@gmail.com
Secretary: Steve W., ocisaa.secretary@gmail.com
Newsletter Editor:  Mark D., ocisaa.newsletter@gmail.com
Parliamentarian: Vacant

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Website

If you have ideas or suggestions for the website, please contact our Webmaster, Neal B., at ocisaa.digicom1@gmail.com.