March 2016

 

carry-the-messageThe purpose of our Intergroup is to more effectively reach the sex addict in the Orange County area who still suffers.  We meet the second Wednesday of each month from 7pm-8:30 p.m. at Lighthouse Church, 1885 Anaheim Ave., Costa Mesa CA 92627, in the Sanctuary.  All SAA members are welcome to participate.  If you can’t make it, meeting minutes are published on our website.  We want your ideas!

Annual Conference

The SAA 29th Annual Conference is rapidly approaching…May 27th – 30th, 2016 in Chi-Town…Chicago, IL. This conference is for delegates from each of the meetings to attend and provide valuable voices for their groups. Many meetings collect a donation for a separate scholarship fund which helps offset the cost incurred by their delegate. Each group has their way of getting the funds to the delegate and ISO has some funds to reimburse a portion of costs as well. Please speak with your groups and ensure your voice is heard. Also the conference is a great place to network and meet others in recovery and share stories of strength and hope in recovery.

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My Share

Each month, we publish a personal but anonymous story of recovery.  It can be either an autobiography or about a subject important to your recovery.  Stories should be written in the first person (“I”) and speak from your experience, strength, and hope.  Please submit your story to ocisaa.newsletter@gmail.com.  We may edit submissions for reasons of space, clarity, and appropriate language.  Here is this month’s story:

HAPPINESS 

This month a brother in the program wanted to express his thoughts in words…he has a blog, “Farajsmusings”. This is an excerpt from his post on Happiness:

Everybody has a different definition of this word; some define it by their wealth or material possessions, some by their fun activities or spending time with friends and family, some by their spirituality and connection with a higher power. Yet there are many that claim to be unhappy, despite all that they have. So, why exactly is it hard to be happy?

I experience this kind of unhappiness from time to time. I haven’t dabbled much in drugs (and I don’t intend to do so), but the only recreational drugs that I have experimented with are tobacco and caffeine, and not at the same time. Some drugs are classified as recreational primarily because of their euphoric effects. I have experience temporary euphoria from tobacco, although it didn’t seem worth it to continue smoking because of the side effects, and also because the money I spend on cigarettes or hookah could be used elsewhere. But my intent to smoke was to mainly relieve stress I was experiencing. I’ll admit, I’m a bit stressed right now (which is why I’m writing this) and I’m really craving a cigarette, but I know I shouldn’t smoke. It may relieve the stress temporarily making me forget my problems for a little bit, but these problems surface again after the euphoria fades away. I feel unhappy afterwards. So relieving stress and the absence of stress alone don’t characterize happiness.

This could possibly be because such methods of treating stress or unhappiness only attempt to treat the symptoms, and not the cause of this unhappiness. What could the cause of unhappiness be? Could it be from circumstantial stress like work, school or family? Possibly, yes. So maybe trying to resolve those issues might help. Yet people who have little to no such problems still claim unhappiness. So there could be another component.

My theory has to do with spirituality. I don’t claim to be an expert on spirituality. As a Muslim, I don’t want to call myself devout or consistently practicing because I have certain challenges with it. But I have experienced a feeling of happiness that goes beyond euphoria when I work on my spiritual growth. An act as simple as reading from the Qur’an or prayer makes me feel a sense of peace. Some may claim that this could merely be the result of classical conditioning having been raised this way, or because of a self fulfilling prophecy, but if you think that way I ask that you keep an open mind for just a little bit till you reach the end of this essay. Many others have claimed that they feel a sense of peace with happiness, some of them having had no spirituality or religion before. You may see this as anecdotal evidence, but there has been research that suggests the positive effects of spirituality and/or spiritual practices. I would cite some research here, but I encourage you to do that research yourself and let you reach a conclusion on this matter yourself…

This writing was very uplifting…if you would like to continue reading this on Faraj’s blog, I have included the link here: http://farajsmusings.blogspot.com/2015/03/happiness.html?m=1

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Intergroup Project Updates

Survey 

We are tallying the results of the 2015 Fellowship Survey…

Retaining Newcomers

As always, we want to reach out and retain newcomers since most of us know that abstinence and sobriety is better maintained out of isolation and in the fellowship of others.  Please consider ways to retain newcomers and ensure they feel welcome as I know we all do.

Website Traffic

We continue to receive visitors to our website, http://www.ocisaa.org, with 1,196 visitors. Our website is a valuable for those in recovery as well as those seeking recovery.

Internet Keyword Search Optimization

Our internet keyword search through Google is a big success so far.  In February 2016, we had 320 clicks and 10,228 impressions which is 3,930 more than January  If you recall, the budget was $50/month and it was voted to increase this budget to $100/month to achieve even more notice.  As a result of this endeavor we are reaching a new audience which is great.  This is continuing to be a worthwhile venture and it brings the sex addict who still suffers to our page, hopefully meetings and most importantly to recovery.

The Dallas and Los Angeles Intergroups contacted us for information on this project and we happily shared our experience and success with them.

Craigslist

The responses continue to ads we placed for SAA on the Orange County Craigslist website.  Sex addicts going there to act out are being presented with an opportunity for recovery, and for some of them, it’s working!

 * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Announcements & Newsnotes

The OC Intergroup meeting day has changed. OC Intergroup now meets the 2nd Wednesday of each month at 7pm at the same location, Lighthouse Church Costa Mesa in the Sanctuary.

Costa Mesa Noon Meetings

We have found a new location for the Costa Mesa Noon Meetings…
Orange Coast Unitarian Universalist Church located at:
2845 Mesa Verde Dr. East – Suite 4
Costa Mesa, CA 92626

  • They are also looking for speakers for Monday meetings to speak for 15 minutes on how they found recovery. Requires 6 months or more of sobriety to speak. Contact Lee at (714)318-8932 if interested.

A Message for Sponsors

We suggest you consider stressing to your sponsees the importance of service work such as volunteering for positions at their meetings.  Early in recovery, service work gives recovering sex addicts something to feel good about when they need it most.  Later on, it becomes Step 12 work, a very healthy activity and again a builder of self-esteem.  Some sponsors we know feel so strongly about it that they advise their sponsees either to fill a service position or find another sponsor!

Intergroup Vacancies

Our Intergroup has one vacant position and a need for website contributors.  These are great opportunities to be of service, and they generally require little or no special expertise.

►  The Chair person is opening in February 2016. The duties generally occupy a few hours each month. The chair is also responsible for leading the monthly Intergroup meetings and providing direction for the group to ensure we are reaching everyone in recovery.

► The Vice Chair works with the Chair to coordinate the Intergroup’s overall activities such as preparing the monthly agenda and helping with surveys.  It’s estimated that Vice Chair duties take about 2-4 hours per month, plus the monthly Intergroup meeting.

► The Vice Treasurer works with the Treasurer to manage Intergroup funds.  The duties generally occupy minimal time – just an hour most months.  Attendance at the monthly Intergroup meeting is encouraged.  This position requires one year of abstinence.

► Digi Com Chair is responsible for maintaining the website and generally requires 2-4 hours each month. Attendance at the monthly Intergroup meeting is encouraged.

►  We are looking for people with website experience of any kind, including those who are willing to learn.


Needed:  Intergroup Representatives

Only 25% of our meetings have an intergroup rep. The commitment is approximately an hour a month for the intergroup meeting and then a report at least once a month to the group being represented. If your meeting still lacks an Intergroup rep, please tell your secretary that you need one.  For more information, contact us at ocisaa.inreach@gmail.com.  We highly recommend you find someone to fill this service position.  We also suggest if possible, that your group allocate a percentage of its donations to the Intergroup for its activities, which benefit all SAA groups in the region.

Thanks for Your Donations!

We are grateful for the support we receive from the Orange County area SAA meetings.  As you can see from our activities listed in this newsletter, we are putting your donations to good use.  We encourage you to attend our monthly meetings and voice your ideas.

A Note to Event Promoters and Organizers: For those requesting announcements to run in our newsletter, please use the following format – and order – as much as possible:

Who: Are you a committee (of the Intergroup, for example), or an individual SAA meeting group, or another type of organization or individual?
What: Is this a workshop, breakfast, retreat, or another type of event?
Title: What is the name of your event?
When: Give the date and starting and ending times of your event.
Cost: What – if anything – is the suggested contribution, or is it a set fee, or is no one turned away for lack of funds?
Description: In a sentence, or several sentences, say what is unique or especially appealing about your event.
Where: Event address, along with any cross-street info or parking tips you think are important.
More Info: Whom to call for more information?  List a telephone number, email address, and/or website.
Please give us as much lead time as possible, and note that submissions are subject to editing for clarity and space.

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SAA Meeting News

New Meetings:

Costa Mesa (NEW LOCATION Effective Aug. 3th 2015 – formerly at First Methodist Church of Costa Mesa):  

Monday, 7:30 – 9:00 pm
Men Only/Closed/Book Study
Costa Mesa Church of Christ, 287 W. Wilson Street, Costa Mesa, CA 92627
Directions:  Between Harbor Blvd. & Fairview Ave.
For more information call 949-478-5617

Corona Del Mar (NEW LOCATION Effective Aug. 5th 2015 – formerly at First Methodist Church of Costa Mesa):
Wednesday, 7:30 – 9:00 pm
Mixed/Closed/Book Study/Share
St. Michael & All Angels’ Episcopal  Church, 3233 Pacific View Drive, Corona Del Mar, CA 92625 (South Wing Room attached to Church – Enter thru Patio on the Right)
Directions: to be added to website soon! For more information call (949) 636-1917

Wednesday, 12:00 – 1:00 pm
Men only/Closed
Pines Park, 34941 Camino Capistrano, CA 92624
Directions: From the 5 Freeway head south on Camino De Estrella towards Coast Highway, turn right on to Camino Capistrano. Parking will be on the street on Camino Capistrano…….the meeting is held at the upper Park at the south end.
For more information call (949) 547-4498.

Wednesday, 5:00-6:00pm
Closed, men only
1900 E. 4th St., Conference Room 2A, Santa Ana 92705
Free parking in structure
Contact Frank P. (949) 842-3454

Thursday, 7:00-8:00 p.m.
Closed, men only
707 E. Chapman, Orange 92866
Building is close to Orange Traffic Circle, white with green trim, no suite number; parking lot adjacent to building
Contact Chris B. (949) 278-3642

Changes:

***Not NUTS Meeting Update!!
Moving to Church of Christ on Wed. nights from 7pm-8:30pm in the Family Room. Bill P is the contact.

***The Monday evening women’s book study meeting has relocated. The meeting time is 6:30pm-7:30pm. Please call 657-215-1252 or email saawomensgroup@gmail.com for more details.

The Monday and Friday Long Beach meetings are no longer at Kaiser Permanente, 3900 E. Pacific Coast Hwy., Long Beach.  The new meeting times and locations are:
—Monday, 7:30-8:30 pm, Mixed/Closed/Step/Tradition/Topic
Unitarian Church, 5450 Atherton St., Long Beach (just West of Bellflower Blvd.), in the Chalice Room
Contact Carole B., 562-841-4348, or e-mail CAROLEMARY@NETZERO.COM
—Friday, 6:30-7:30 pm, Mixed/Closed/Step/Tradition/Topic
Unitarian Church, 5450 Atherton St., Long Beach (just West of Bellflower Blvd.), in the Chalice Room
Contact Carole B., 562-841-4348, or e-mail CAROLEMARY@NETZERO.COM

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Orange County Intergroup Officers and Committee Chairs

Our leaders are but trusted servants; they do not govern. — Tradition 2

Chair: Ron R., ocisaa.chair@gmail.com
Vice Chair: Vacant, ocisaa.vicechair@gmail.com
Digital Communications: Neal B., ocisaa.digicom1@gmail.com (Assistant: Reza B., ocisaa.digicom2@gmail.com)
Inreach: Frank, ocisaa.inreach@gmail.com
Outreach: Maurice B., ocisaa.outreach@gmail.com
Literature: Ron C., ocisaa.literature@gmail.com
Treasurer: Frank. (Vice Treasurer: Vacant), ocisaa.treasurer@gmail.com
Secretary: Steve W., ocisaa.secretary@gmail.com
Newsletter Editor:  Mark D., ocisaa.newsletter@gmail.com
Parliamentarian: Vacant

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Website

If you have ideas or suggestions for the website, please contact our Webmaster, Neal B., at ocisaa.digicom1@gmail.com.

February 2016

 

carry-the-messageThe purpose of our Intergroup is to more effectively reach the sex addict in the Orange County area who still suffers.  We meet the second Thursday of each month from 7:15-8:30 p.m. at Lighthouse Church, 1885 Anaheim Ave., Costa Mesa CA 92627.  All SAA members are welcome to participate.  If you can’t make it, meeting minutes are published on our website.  We want your ideas!

January 2016 Retreat

Our last retreat held on, Saturday January 30th, 2016 from 9am – 5pm at The Lighthouse Church in Costa Mesa was a success. We had over 30 attendees with several coming from the Los Angeles and Inland Empire areas.  Our group is very strong and the fellowship is a bond beyond belief. We were able to make a donation of funds to Lighthouse which is a great way to say thank you for the use of their venue. The topics were: What tools to use to avoid a relapse? The power of Sharing. How do Fear & Denial affect your recovery? Instead of longer speaker shares, we added more breakout sessions.

A suggestion was made and we are posing this question…is it worth inviting a CSAT to our next retreat for speaking time?

The January 2016 retreat was a success! Thank you all for your feedback and suggestions. Thank you to all our attendees and of course, a big thank you to all who assisted and put together this retreat.

 

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My Share

Each month, we publish a personal but anonymous story of recovery.  It can be either an autobiography or about a subject important to your recovery.  Stories should be written in the first person (“I”) and speak from your experience, strength, and hope.  Please submit your story to ocisaa.newsletter@gmail.com.  We may edit submissions for reasons of space, clarity, and appropriate language.  Here is this month’s story:

Touched by An Angel

We, unaccustomed to courage
exiles from delight
live coiled in shells of loneliness
until love leaves its high holy temple
and comes into our sight
to liberate us into life.

Love arrives
and in its train come ecstasies
old memories of pleasure
ancient histories of pain.
Yet if we are bold,
love strikes away the chains of fear
from our souls.

We are weaned from our timidity
In the flush of love's light
we dare be brave
And suddenly we see
that love costs all we are
and will ever be.
Yet it is only love
which sets us free.

by Maya Angelou

 

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Intergroup Project Updates

Survey 

We are tallying the results of the 2015 Fellowship Survey and should have results to publish by the end of March for the March Newsletter.

Retaining Newcomers

As always, we want to reach out and retain newcomers since most of us know that abstinence and sobriety is better maintained out of isolation and in the fellowship of others.  Please consider ways to retain newcomers and ensure they feel welcome as I know we all do.

 

Website Traffic

We continue to receive visitors to our website, http://www.ocisaa.org, with 1,219 visitors. Our website is a valuable for those in recovery as well as those seeking recovery.

Internet Keyword Search Optimization

Our internet keyword search through Google is a big success so far.  In January 2016, we had 175 clicks and 6,298 impressions.  If you recall, the budget was $50/month and it was voted to increase this budget to $100/month to achieve even more notice.  As a result of this endeavor we are reaching a new audience which is great.  This is continuing to be a worthwhile venture and it brings the sex addict who still suffers to our page, hopefully meetings and most importantly to recovery.

Craigslist

The responses continue to ads we placed for SAA on the Orange County Craigslist website.  Sex addicts going there to act out are being presented with an opportunity for recovery, and for some of them, it’s working!

 * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Announcements & Newsnotes

Stay tuned for a possible change in the Intergroup meeting night and location…more info to come.

Costa Mesa Noon Meetings

We have found a new location for the Costa Mesa Noon Meetings…
Orange Coast Unitarian Universalist Church located at:
2845 Mesa Verde Dr. East – Suite 4
Costa Mesa, CA 92626

  • They are also looking for speakers for Monday meetings to speak for 15 minutes on how they found recovery. Requires 6 months or more of sobriety to speak. Contact Lee at (714)318-8932 if interested.

A Message for Sponsors

We suggest you consider stressing to your sponsees the importance of service work such as volunteering for positions at their meetings.  Early in recovery, service work gives recovering sex addicts something to feel good about when they need it most.  Later on, it becomes Step 12 work, a very healthy activity and again a builder of self-esteem.  Some sponsors we know feel so strongly about it that they advise their sponsees either to fill a service position or find another sponsor!

Intergroup Vacancies

Our Intergroup has one vacant position and a need for website contributors.  These are great opportunities to be of service, and they generally require little or no special expertise.

►  The Chair person is opening in February 2016. The duties generally occupy a few hours each month. The chair is also responsible for leading the monthly Intergroup meetings and providing direction for the group to ensure we are reaching everyone in recovery.

► The Vice Chair works with the Chair to coordinate the Intergroup’s overall activities such as preparing the monthly agenda and helping with surveys.  It’s estimated that Vice Chair duties take about 2-4 hours per month, plus the monthly Intergroup meeting.

► The Vice Treasurer works with the Treasurer to manage Intergroup funds.  The duties generally occupy minimal time – just an hour most months.  Attendance at the monthly Intergroup meeting is encouraged.  This position requires one year of abstinence.

► Digi Com Chair is responsible for maintaining the website and generally requires 2-4 hours each month. Attendance at the monthly Intergroup meeting is encouraged.

►  We are looking for people with website experience of any kind, including those who are willing to learn.


Needed:  Intergroup Representatives

Only 25% of our meetings have an intergroup rep. The commitment is approximately an hour a month for the intergroup meeting and then a report at least once a month to the group being represented. If your meeting still lacks an Intergroup rep, please tell your secretary that you need one.  For more information, contact us at ocisaa.inreach@gmail.com.  We highly recommend you find someone to fill this service position.  We also suggest if possible, that your group allocate a percentage of its donations to the Intergroup for its activities, which benefit all SAA groups in the region.

Thanks for Your Donations!

We are grateful for the support we receive from the Orange County area SAA meetings.  As you can see from our activities listed in this newsletter, we are putting your donations to good use.  We encourage you to attend our monthly meetings and voice your ideas.

A Note to Event Promoters and Organizers: For those requesting announcements to run in our newsletter, please use the following format – and order – as much as possible:

Who: Are you a committee (of the Intergroup, for example), or an individual SAA meeting group, or another type of organization or individual?
What: Is this a workshop, breakfast, retreat, or another type of event?
Title: What is the name of your event?
When: Give the date and starting and ending times of your event.
Cost: What – if anything – is the suggested contribution, or is it a set fee, or is no one turned away for lack of funds?
Description: In a sentence, or several sentences, say what is unique or especially appealing about your event.
Where: Event address, along with any cross-street info or parking tips you think are important.
More Info: Whom to call for more information?  List a telephone number, email address, and/or website.
Please give us as much lead time as possible, and note that submissions are subject to editing for clarity and space.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

SAA Meeting News

New Meetings:

Costa Mesa (NEW LOCATION Effective Aug. 3th 2015 – formerly at First Methodist Church of Costa Mesa):  

Monday, 7:30 – 9:00 pm
Men Only/Closed/Book Study
Costa Mesa Church of Christ, 287 W. Wilson Street, Costa Mesa, CA 92627
Directions:  Between Harbor Blvd. & Fairview Ave.
For more information call 949-478-5617

Corona Del Mar (NEW LOCATION Effective Aug. 5th 2015 – formerly at First Methodist Church of Costa Mesa):
Wednesday, 7:30 – 9:00 pm
Mixed/Closed/Book Study/Share
St. Michael & All Angels’ Episcopal  Church, 3233 Pacific View Drive, Corona Del Mar, CA 92625 (South Wing Room attached to Church – Enter thru Patio on the Right)
Directions: to be added to website soon! For more information call (949) 636-1917

Wednesday, 12:00 – 1:00 pm
Men only/Closed
Pines Park, 34941 Camino Capistrano, CA 92624
Directions: From the 5 Freeway head south on Camino De Estrella towards Coast Highway, turn right on to Camino Capistrano. Parking will be on the street on Camino Capistrano…….the meeting is held at the upper Park at the south end.
For more information call (949) 547-4498.

Wednesday, 5:00-6:00pm
Closed, men only
1900 E. 4th St., Conference Room 2A, Santa Ana 92705
Free parking in structure
Contact Frank P. (949) 842-3454

Thursday, 7:00-8:00 p.m.
Closed, men only
707 E. Chapman, Orange 92866
Building is close to Orange Traffic Circle, white with green trim, no suite number; parking lot adjacent to building
Contact Chris B. (949) 278-3642

Changes:

The Monday evening women’s book study meeting has relocated.  Please call 714-485-3655 or email womeninsaa@gmail.com for more details.

 

The Monday and Friday Long Beach meetings are no longer at Kaiser Permanente, 3900 E. Pacific Coast Hwy., Long Beach.  The new meeting times and locations are:
—Monday, 7:30-8:30 pm, Mixed/Closed/Step/Tradition/Topic
Unitarian Church, 5450 Atherton St., Long Beach (just West of Bellflower Blvd.), in the Chalice Room
Contact Carole B., 562-841-4348, or e-mail CAROLEMARY@NETZERO.COM
—Friday, 6:30-7:30 pm, Mixed/Closed/Step/Tradition/Topic
Unitarian Church, 5450 Atherton St., Long Beach (just West of Bellflower Blvd.), in the Chalice Room
Contact Carole B., 562-841-4348, or e-mail CAROLEMARY@NETZERO.COM

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Orange County Intergroup Officers and Committee Chairs

Our leaders are but trusted servants; they do not govern. — Tradition 2

Chair: Ron R., ocisaa.chair@gmail.com
Vice Chair: Vacant, ocisaa.vicechair@gmail.com
Digital Communications: Neal B., ocisaa.digicom1@gmail.com (Assistant: Reza B., ocisaa.digicom2@gmail.com)
Inreach: Frank, ocisaa.inreach@gmail.com
Outreach: Maurice B., ocisaa.outreach@gmail.com
Literature: Ron C., ocisaa.literature@gmail.com
Treasurer: Frank. (Vice Treasurer: Vacant), ocisaa.treasurer@gmail.com
Secretary: Steve W., ocisaa.secretary@gmail.com
Newsletter Editor:  Mark D., ocisaa.newsletter@gmail.com
Parliamentarian: Vacant

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Website

If you have ideas or suggestions for the website, please contact our Webmaster, Neal B., at ocisaa.digicom1@gmail.com.

December 2015

 

carry-the-messageThe purpose of our Intergroup is to more effectively reach the sex addict in the Orange County area who still suffers.  We meet the second Thursday of each month from 7:15-8:30 p.m. at Lighthouse Church, 1885 Anaheim Ave., Costa Mesa CA 92627.  All SAA members are welcome to participate.  If you can’t make it, meeting minutes are published on our website.  We want your ideas!

RECHARGE AND COME TO THE RETREAT

Our next retreat is scheduled for Saturday January 30th, 2016 from 9am – 5pm at The Lighthouse Church located at 1885 Anaheim Ave. Costa Mesa, CA 92627. The cost is $25 (lunch provided). This is limited to the first 70 people. Coffee, water, fruit and some pastries will be provided in the morning. Checks can be sent to OCISAA, P.O. Box 12424 Costa Mesa, CA 92627 (indicate “retreat” on check). Also you can register and pay here on the website under the event tab and pay using PayPal. Please ensure you register at least 5 days in advance so we can plan for food.

Coming into the New Year a retreat is a great way to start 2016 with some fellowship and positive recovery. The holidays can bring us into isolation and draw us toward the inner circle. A retreat is a great outer circle activity and can connect us to others whom may need some fellowship as well…bonus service to others!! We look forward to seeing you at the retreat.

 

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My Share

Each month, we publish a personal but anonymous story of recovery.  It can be either an autobiography or about a subject important to your recovery.  Stories should be written in the first person (“I”) and speak from your experience, strength, and hope.  Please submit your story to ocisaa.newsletter@gmail.com.  We may edit submissions for reasons of space, clarity, and appropriate language.  Here is this month’s story:


RESOLUTIONS…One Day at a Time

“Once you have established the goals you want and the price you’re willing to pay, you can ignore the minor hurts, the opponent’s pressure and the temporary failures.” – Vince Lombardi

In reading this quote, yes I am a Packers fan, I find a profound relationship to recovery. The opponent is this addiction, the minor hurts are just that. The temporary failures don’t last and teach us how to proceed if we listen. Recovery takes many forms and we must move one day at a time or success seems unattainable.

Sexual addiction is unlike any other addiction, at least that’s what I keep hearing. Sex is everywhere and unlike drugs or food or alcohol, unless we become hermits and isolate, sex is out there. Triggers and situations present themselves and make our recovery a real and constant struggle. The addiction is practicing, learning our weaknesses and waiting for the hole to and open sack us. We have to be on the offensive and arm ourselves against those hurts or holes that leave us vulnerable to the defense who trying to knock us down and make us lose ground. Failures are part of life, we must learn from them and carry on to succeed.

As we enter 2016, we step into a new arena…the recovery arena and we have some challenges to overcome but through our higher power, our fellowship and service to others we can overcome and beat this opponent.

 

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Intergroup Project Updates

Survey 

Please take a moment and complete a Fellowship survey so we can address and determine: How many of us there are in our fellowship and how we found this fellowship plus a few more questions. The feedback will us continue to grow and reach the sex addict who still suffers and provide us with topics for our Bi-Annual Retreats.  Thank in advance and if you need a survey please let us know and we can get you one.

Retaining Newcomers

As always, we want to reach out and retain newcomers since most of us know that abstinence and sobriety is better maintained out of isolation and in the fellowship of others.  Please consider ways to retain newcomers and ensure they feel welcome as I know we all do.

Website Activity

Our website activity continues to grow…in 2013 we had just 6,250 views and 1,996 visitors. In 2015 we had 15,472 views and 7,721 visitors which is almost a 75% increase in visitors. In 2014 we had 10,973 views and 4,312 visitors. We are making a difference and reaching out. With these encouraging numbers 2016 looks even more promising.

Internet Keyword Search Optimization

Our internet keyword search through Google is a big success so far.  In November 2015 we had 330 clicks and 8,275 impressions at an average cost of $0.14 each.  The budget was $50/month and it was voted to increase this budget to $100/month to achieve even more notice.  Of the 330 clicks, 303 were looking to act out and 27 were looking for help. Out Google Ad Word has been a great success  with over 60,000 impressions (chances for people to see our program). We’ve had several phone calls and visits to our meetings as a result of these endeavors. 12,142 impressions, 307 click throughs.  We are reaching a new audience which is great.  This is continuing to be a worthwhile venture and it brings the sex addict who still suffers to our page, hopefully meetings and most importantly to recovery.

Craigslist

The responses continue to ads we placed for SAA on the Orange County Craigslist website.  Sex addicts going there to act out are being presented with an opportunity for recovery, and for some of them, it’s working!

 * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Announcements & Newsnotes

Costa Mesa Noon Meetings

We have found a new location for the Costa Mesa Noon Meetings…
Orange Coast Unitarian Universalist Church located at:
2845 Mesa Verde Dr. East – Suite 4
Costa Mesa, CA 92626

  • They are also looking for speakers for Monday meetings to speak for 15 minutes on how they found recovery. Requires 6 months or more of sobriety to speak. Contact Lee at (714)318-8932 if interested.

A Message for Sponsors

We suggest you consider stressing to your sponsees the importance of service work such as volunteering for positions at their meetings.  Early in recovery, service work gives recovering sex addicts something to feel good about when they need it most.  Later on, it becomes Step 12 work, a very healthy activity and again a builder of self-esteem.  Some sponsors we know feel so strongly about it that they advise their sponsees either to fill a service position or find another sponsor!

Intergroup Vacancies

Our Intergroup has one vacant position and a need for website contributors.  These are great opportunities to be of service, and they generally require little or no special expertise.

►  The Chair person is opening in February 2016. The duties generally occupy a few hours each month. The chair is also responsible for leading the monthly Intergroup meetings and providing direction for the group to ensure we are reaching everyone in recovery.

► The Vice Chair works with the Chair to coordinate the Intergroup’s overall activities such as preparing the monthly agenda and helping with surveys.  It’s estimated that Vice Chair duties take about 2-4 hours per month, plus the monthly Intergroup meeting.

► The Vice Treasurer works with the Treasurer to manage Intergroup funds.  The duties generally occupy minimal time – just an hour most months.  Attendance at the monthly Intergroup meeting is encouraged.  This position requires one year of abstinence.

► Digi Com Chair is responsible for maintaining the website and generally requires 2-4 hours each month. Attendance at the monthly Intergroup meeting is encouraged.

►  We are looking for people with website experience of any kind, including those who are willing to learn.

Needed:  Intergroup Representatives

Only 25% of our meetings have an intergroup rep. The commitment is approximately an hour a month for the intergroup meeting and then a report at least once a month to the group being represented. If your meeting still lacks an Intergroup rep, please tell your secretary that you need one.  For more information, contact us at ocisaa.inreach@gmail.com.  We highly recommend you find someone to fill this service position.  We also suggest if possible, that your group allocate a percentage of its donations to the Intergroup for its activities, which benefit all SAA groups in the region.

Thanks for Your Donations!

We are grateful for the support we receive from the Orange County area SAA meetings.  As you can see from our activities listed in this newsletter, we are putting your donations to good use.  We encourage you to attend our monthly meetings and voice your ideas.

A Note to Event Promoters and Organizers: For those requesting announcements to run in our newsletter, please use the following format – and order – as much as possible:

Who: Are you a committee (of the Intergroup, for example), or an individual SAA meeting group, or another type of organization or individual?
What: Is this a workshop, breakfast, retreat, or another type of event?
Title: What is the name of your event?
When: Give the date and starting and ending times of your event.
Cost: What – if anything – is the suggested contribution, or is it a set fee, or is no one turned away for lack of funds?
Description: In a sentence, or several sentences, say what is unique or especially appealing about your event.
Where: Event address, along with any cross-street info or parking tips you think are important.
More Info: Whom to call for more information?  List a telephone number, email address, and/or website.
Please give us as much lead time as possible, and note that submissions are subject to editing for clarity and space.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

SAA Meeting News

New Meetings:

Costa Mesa (NEW LOCATION Effective Aug. 3th 2015 – formerly at First Methodist Church of Costa Mesa):  

Monday, 7:30 – 9:00 pm
Men Only/Closed/Book Study
Costa Mesa Church of Christ, 287 W. Wilson Street, Costa Mesa, CA 92627
Directions:  Between Harbor Blvd. & Fairview Ave.
For more information call 949-478-5617

Corona Del Mar (NEW LOCATION Effective Aug. 5th 2015 – formerly at First Methodist Church of Costa Mesa):
Wednesday, 7:30 – 9:00 pm
Mixed/Closed/Book Study/Share
St. Michael & All Angels’ Episcopal  Church, 3233 Pacific View Drive, Corona Del Mar, CA 92625 (South Wing Room attached to Church – Enter thru Patio on the Right)
Directions: to be added to website soon! For more information call (949) 636-1917

Wednesday, 12:00 – 1:00 pm
Men only/Closed
Pines Park, 34941 Camino Capistrano, CA 92624
Directions: From the 5 Freeway head south on Camino De Estrella towards Coast Highway, turn right on to Camino Capistrano. Parking will be on the street on Camino Capistrano…….the meeting is held at the upper Park at the south end.
For more information call (949) 547-4498.

Wednesday, 5:00-6:00pm
Closed, men only
1900 E. 4th St., Conference Room 2A, Santa Ana 92705
Free parking in structure
Contact Frank P. (949) 842-3454

Thursday, 7:00-8:00 p.m.
Closed, men only
707 E. Chapman, Orange 92866
Building is close to Orange Traffic Circle, white with green trim, no suite number; parking lot adjacent to building
Contact Chris B. (949) 278-3642

Tuesday, 7:00-8:30 p.m.
Closed, mixed
Book study/Check-in
First Southern Baptist Church, Dining Room
6801 Western Ave., Buena Park, CA 90621 (just north of Orangethorpe Ave.)
Contact Maurice B. (714) 683-8663/motrago@hotmail.com

Changes:

The Monday evening women’s book study meeting has relocated.  Please call 714-485-3655 or email womeninsaa@gmail.com for more details.

The Tuesday morning 6:30 a.m. meeting at the First Methodist Church in Costa Mesa has been canceled.

The Friday morning meeting at the Alano Club has been canceled.

The Monday and Friday Long Beach meetings are no longer at Kaiser Permanente, 3900 E. Pacific Coast Hwy., Long Beach.  The new meeting times and locations are:
—Monday, 7:30-8:30 pm, Mixed/Closed/Step/Tradition/Topic
Unitarian Church, 5450 Atherton St., Long Beach (just West of Bellflower Blvd.), in the Chalice Room
Contact Carole B., 562-841-4348, or e-mail CAROLEMARY@NETZERO.COM
—Friday, 6:30-7:30 pm, Mixed/Closed/Step/Tradition/Topic
Unitarian Church, 5450 Atherton St., Long Beach (just West of Bellflower Blvd.), in the Chalice Room
Contact Carole B., 562-841-4348, or e-mail CAROLEMARY@NETZERO.COM

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Orange County Intergroup Officers and Committee Chairs

Our leaders are but trusted servants; they do not govern. — Tradition 2

Chair: Ron R., ocisaa.chair@gmail.com
Vice Chair: Vacant, ocisaa.vicechair@gmail.com
Digital Communications: Neal B., ocisaa.digicom1@gmail.com (Assistant: Reza B., ocisaa.digicom2@gmail.com)
Inreach: Frank, ocisaa.inreach@gmail.com
Outreach: Maurice B., ocisaa.outreach@gmail.com
Literature: Ron C., ocisaa.literature@gmail.com
Treasurer: Frank. (Vice Treasurer: Vacant), ocisaa.treasurer@gmail.com
Secretary: Steve W., ocisaa.secretary@gmail.com
Newsletter Editor:  Mark D., ocisaa.newsletter@gmail.com
Parliamentarian: Vacant

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Website

If you have ideas or suggestions for the website, please contact our Webmaster, Neal B., at ocisaa.digicom1@gmail.com.

November 2015

carry-the-messageThe purpose of our Intergroup is to more effectively reach the sex addict in the Orange County area who still suffers.  We meet the second Thursday of each month from 7:15-8:30 p.m. at Lighthouse Church, 1885 Anaheim Ave., Costa Mesa CA 92627.  All SAA members are welcome to participate.  If you can’t make it, meeting minutes are published on our website.  We want your ideas!

Holidays and Recovery

 

As most of are aware, we tend to isolate and delve into our middle circles when times get rough. In that indulgence of the middle circle we can spiral into the inner circle and lose control.  Families and the stress of holidays and emotions all drive us to that middle circle unless we are fully equipped and ready to handle the load.  Picking up that thousand pound phone to reach out and ask for a hand or to extend a hand can be the hardest challenge for each of us. During this holiday season make the commitment to stay out of isolation and be present in the spirit of these happy times of year.  I know many of us have endured pain during the holidays but lets work on being grateful and knockout gratitude list each day to remind us all we have to be grateful for each day…

Waking up
Freedom
Coffee
Living in the Golden State
Our kids or grand kids or nieces/nephews
Our struggles that have shaped us
etc…

Being grateful for the little things that can mean so much to us makes the bad days a bit more tolerable.  Lets remember to take care of each other and make the call or grab lunch or coffee and foster the fellowship to keep us all from isolating. Let us give thanks this month especially.

 * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

My Share

Each month, we publish a personal but anonymous story of recovery.  It can be either an autobiography or about a subject important to your recovery.  Stories should be written in the first person (“I”) and speak from your experience, strength, and hope.  Please submit your story to ocisaa.newsletter@gmail.com.  We may edit submissions for reasons of space, clarity, and appropriate language.  Here is this month’s story:

I Hate This Disease!

I hate this disease!!! It has taken time away from me, time I cannot replace.  It has consumed me, my money, my time and my thoughts. This disease had caused me grief, turmoil and shame. I have lost relationships, trust and a sense of morals. I hate this disease, yet I let it control me. I allowed myself to follow down the dark path into shame, guilt and despair. My own actions only served to draw out the disease. I didn’t fight it…I didn’t prevent it and for so long I never realized it was festering inside. It was like a cancer. My ex-wife is the one who brought it to light and I am forever grateful for that. This disease is what caused me to drive her away because I didn’t realize the pain and emptiness I caused. It ripped apart my world.

While I hate this disease, I embrace it. In working the steps and recovery, I have discovered more about myself, unlocked pieces of my past and identified character defects. I have learned to be patient, to take it one day at a time. This disease is a part of me but it does not make me. The phone still weighs a thousand pounds and I still don’t call my sponsor everyday however I am getting better at both. Progress not perfection in this disease is so very important. I hate this disease because recovery forces me out of isolation.  Recovery forces me to face my defects and shortcomings which is hard and something like work.  I won’t give up but damn this recovery thing is not easy. I have to face feelings and emotions without running to my addiction for solace and comfort like I have been accustomed to for so long.

While I hate this disease…this disease has taught me to love myself, be patient and work to be a better human being.

 

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Intergroup Project Updates

Retaining Newcomers

As always, we want to reach out and retain newcomers since most of us know that abstinence and sobriety is better maintained out of isolation and in the fellowship of others.  Please consider ways to retain newcomers and ensure they feel welcome as I know we all do.

Spanish-Speaking Outreach

We added a Spanish translation of the “12 & 12″ to our website and we now have a location for a Spanish-speaking meeting, details to follow.   We welcome your suggestions.

Internet Keyword Search Optimization

Our internet keyword search through Google is a big success so far.  In October 2015 we had 12,142 impressions, 307 click throughs.  We are reaching a new audience which is great.  Currently our monthly budgeted amount for this endeavor is $48 per month.  This is continuing to be a worthwhile venture and it brings the sex addict who still suffers to our page, hopefully meetings and most importantly to recovery.

Craigslist

The responses continue to ads we placed for SAA on the Orange County Craigslist website.  Sex addicts going there to act out are being presented with an opportunity for recovery, and for some of them, it’s working!

 * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Announcements & Newsnotes

Costa Mesa Meetings

We have found some new locations to replace those that were being held at the First Methodist Church of Costa Mesa.  The new locations are posted on the Meetings tab and are listed as replacements when you go through the list.  We still do not have a confirmed location for the noon meetings that had been held there.  Please keep checking the website for updates.

A Message for Sponsors

We suggest you consider stressing to your sponsees the importance of service work such as volunteering for positions at their meetings.  Early in recovery, service work gives recovering sex addicts something to feel good about when they need it most.  Later on, it becomes Step 12 work, a very healthy activity and again a builder of self-esteem.  Some sponsors we know feel so strongly about it that they advise their sponsees either to fill a service position or find another sponsor!

Intergroup Vacancies

Our Intergroup has one vacant position and a need for website contributors.  These are great opportunities to be of service, and they generally require little or no special expertise.

►  The Chair person is opening in February 2016. The duties generally occupy a few hours each month. The chair is also responsible for leading the monthly Intergroup meetings and providing direction for the group to ensure we are reaching everyone in recovery.

►  The Inreach Vice Chair/Coordinator has been filled.

►  We are looking for people with website experience of any kind, including those who are willing to learn.

Needed:  Intergroup Representatives

Only 25% of our meetings have an intergroup rep. The commitment is approximately an hour a month for the intergroup meeting and then a report at least once a month to the group being represented. If your meeting still lacks an Intergroup rep, please tell your secretary that you need one.  For more information, contact us at ocisaa.inreach@gmail.com.  We highly recommend you find someone to fill this service position.  We also suggest if possible, that your group allocate a percentage of its donations to the Intergroup for its activities, which benefit all SAA groups in the region.

Thanks for Your Donations!

We are grateful for the support we receive from the Orange County area SAA meetings.  As you can see from our activities listed in this newsletter, we are putting your donations to good use.  We encourage you to attend our monthly meetings and voice your ideas.

A Note to Event Promoters and Organizers: For those requesting announcements to run in our newsletter, please use the following format – and order – as much as possible:

Who: Are you a committee (of the Intergroup, for example), or an individual SAA meeting group, or another type of organization or individual?
What: Is this a workshop, breakfast, retreat, or another type of event?
Title: What is the name of your event?
When: Give the date and starting and ending times of your event.
Cost: What – if anything – is the suggested contribution, or is it a set fee, or is no one turned away for lack of funds?
Description: In a sentence, or several sentences, say what is unique or especially appealing about your event.
Where: Event address, along with any cross-street info or parking tips you think are important.
More Info: Whom to call for more information?  List a telephone number, email address, and/or website.
Please give us as much lead time as possible, and note that submissions are subject to editing for clarity and space.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

SAA Meeting News

New Meetings:

Costa Mesa (NEW LOCATION Effective Aug. 3th 2015 – formerly at First Methodist Church of Costa Mesa):  

Monday, 7:30 – 9:00 pm
Men Only/Closed/Book Study
Costa Mesa Church of Christ, 287 W. Wilson Street, Costa Mesa, CA 92627
Directions:  Between Harbor Blvd. & Fairview Ave.
For more information call 949-478-5617

Corona Del Mar (NEW LOCATION Effective Aug. 5th 2015 – formerly at First Methodist Church of Costa Mesa):
Wednesday, 7:30 – 9:00 pm
Mixed/Closed/Book Study/Share
St. Michael & All Angels’ Episcopal  Church, 3233 Pacific View Drive, Corona Del Mar, CA 92625 (South Wing Room attached to Church – Enter thru Patio on the Right)
Directions: to be added to website soon! For more information call (949) 636-1917

Wednesday, 12:00 – 1:00 pm
Men only/Closed
Pines Park, 34941 Camino Capistrano, CA 92624
Directions: From the 5 Freeway head south on Camino De Estrella towards Coast Highway, turn right on to Camino Capistrano. Parking will be on the street on Camino Capistrano…….the meeting is held at the upper Park at the south end.
For more information call (949) 547-4498.

Wednesday, 5:00-6:00pm
Closed, men only
1900 E. 4th St., Conference Room 2A, Santa Ana 92705
Free parking in structure
Contact Frank P. (949) 842-3454

Thursday, 7:00-8:00 p.m.
Closed, men only
707 E. Chapman, Orange 92866
Building is close to Orange Traffic Circle, white with green trim, no suite number; parking lot adjacent to building
Contact Chris B. (949) 278-3642

Tuesday, 7:00-8:30 p.m.
Closed, mixed
Book study/Check-in
First Southern Baptist Church, Dining Room
6801 Western Ave., Buena Park, CA 90621 (just north of Orangethorpe Ave.)
Contact Maurice B. (714) 683-8663/motrago@hotmail.com

Changes:

The Monday evening women’s book study meeting has relocated.  Please call 714-485-3655 or email womeninsaa@gmail.com for more details.

The Tuesday morning 6:30 a.m. meeting at the First Methodist Church in Costa Mesa has been canceled.

The Friday morning meeting at the Alano Club has been canceled.

The Monday and Friday Long Beach meetings are no longer at Kaiser Permanente, 3900 E. Pacific Coast Hwy., Long Beach.  The new meeting times and locations are:
—Monday, 7:30-8:30 pm, Mixed/Closed/Step/Tradition/Topic
Unitarian Church, 5450 Atherton St., Long Beach (just West of Bellflower Blvd.), in the Chalice Room
Contact Carole B., 562-841-4348, or e-mail CAROLEMARY@NETZERO.COM
—Friday, 6:30-7:30 pm, Mixed/Closed/Step/Tradition/Topic
Unitarian Church, 5450 Atherton St., Long Beach (just West of Bellflower Blvd.), in the Chalice Room
Contact Carole B., 562-841-4348, or e-mail CAROLEMARY@NETZERO.COM

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Orange County Intergroup Officers and Committee Chairs

Our leaders are but trusted servants; they do not govern. — Tradition 2

Chair: Ron R., ocisaa.chair@gmail.com
Vice Chair: Vacant, ocisaa.vicechair@gmail.com
Digital Communications: Neal B., ocisaa.digicom1@gmail.com (Assistant: Reza B., ocisaa.digicom2@gmail.com)
Inreach: Frank, ocisaa.inreach@gmail.com
Outreach: Maurice B., ocisaa.outreach@gmail.com
Literature: Ron C., ocisaa.literature@gmail.com
Treasurer: Brian A. (Vice Treasurer: Vacant), ocisaa.treasurer@gmail.com
Secretary: Steve W., ocisaa.secretary@gmail.com
Newsletter Editor:  Mark D., ocisaa.newsletter@gmail.com
Parliamentarian: Vacant

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Website

If you have ideas or suggestions for the website, please contact our Webmaster, Neal B., at ocisaa.digicom1@gmail.com.

September 2015

carry-the-messageThe purpose of our Intergroup is to more effectively reach the sex addict in the Orange County area who still suffers.  We meet the second Thursday of each month from 7:15-8:30 p.m.   All SAA members are welcome to participate.  If you can’t make it, meeting minutes are published on our website.  We want your ideas!

6th Bi-Annual Retreat

We had our 6th Bi-Annual Retreat held at Mary & Joseph Retreat Center in Rancho Palos Verdes at the end of August.  More details next month after hearing from some our attendees.

Please check the “meetings” tab for any new updates on meeting locations given the recent changes and the closing of the meeting space at First United Methodist Church.

 * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

My Share

Each month, we publish a personal but anonymous story of recovery.  It can be either an autobiography or about a subject important to your recovery.  Stories should be written in the first person (“I”) and speak from your experience, strength, and hope.  Please submit your story to ocisaa.newsletter@gmail.com.  We may edit submissions for reasons of space, clarity, and appropriate language.  Here is this month’s story:

Life After Relapse

I have been attending SAA for 8 years. 9 months ago I came out of my most recent relapse that lasted about 20 months. In my 8 years of recovery from sex addiction, I have collected eight 30 day chips, eight 60 day chips, eight 90 day chips, five 6 month chips, two 9 month chips, a 1 year token and an 18 month  chip and a 2 year token. My life has been full of relapse and tragedy, and yet I keep coming back to the program of recovery called SAA. In the past 8 years I have married for the second time, watched my mother, brother-in-law and Father-in-law pass away. I had my 17 year old dog die in my arms and watched as my wife lost 10 years of sobriety in her AA program. Too say the least, life has had its challenges. Yet I keep coming to the program of recovery called SAA. On August 13th of this years I received a 9 month chip. It was 9 months and one day earlier that I sat on my couch and cried out to my Higher Power and surrendered to the idea that I could never stay sober even one day without the help of my God. The very next day I had an intuitive thought, “If you want to arrest your behavior, then go to 90 meetings in 90 days.” So I did. Every day I did a meeting and if I couldn’t get to one, I used the phone meetings that are listed on www.aa-recovery.com. I am doing 4 meetings a week these days and am learning to live life on life’s terms. I have a sponsor that I am doing the steps with and have just started my 8th step. My wife is still drinking but I have started to attend Al-Anon meetings 3 times a week and getting relief from the bondage of self for the first time in my 54 years. Life is full of hope and my sobriety feels different this time. I have been overweight my whole life and for the first time I have found the desire to be good to myself. I exercise daily and cut out the foods that caused me to become diabetic and gave me high blood pressure. Today I am down 110 pounds. I love the man that I am…the good, the bad and the ugly. I am so grateful to SAA and every person who never judged me in my relapse. They allowed me to sit and listen when I felt that I didn’t have much to offer at the meetings. The key was to keep coming back and never, never give up! I know life will continue to challenge me, but with my Higher Power and the program for daily living called SAA, I can stay sober one day at a time.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Intergroup Project Updates

Retaining Newcomers

As always, we want to reach out and retain newcomers since most of us know that abstinence and sobriety is better maintained out of isolation and in the fellowship of others.  Please consider ways to retain newcomers and ensure they feel welcome as I know we all do.

Spanish-Speaking Outreach

We added a Spanish translation of the “12 & 12″ to our website and we now have a location for a Spanish-speaking meeting, details to follow.   We welcome your suggestions.

Internet Keyword Search Optimization

Our internet keyword search through Google is a big success so far.  In July 2015 we had 22,780 impressions, 500 click throughs and our landing page traffic was 581 up from from just 55 in May 2015 when we started this.  To date we have spent approximately $300 and there is discussion on a max monthly amount which will be determined soon.  This is a worthwhile venture and it brings the sex addict who still suffers to our page, hopefully meetings and most importantly to recovery.

Craigslist

The responses continue to ads we placed for SAA on the Orange County Craigslist website.  Sex addicts going there to act out are being presented with an opportunity for recovery, and for some of them, it’s working!

 * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Announcements & Newsnotes

 

Costa Mesa Meetings

We have found some new locations to replace those that were being held at the First Methodist Church of Costa Mesa.  The new locations are posted on the Meetings tab and are listed as replacements when you go through the list.  We still do not have a confirmed location for the noon meetings that had been held there.  Please keep checking the website for updates.

A Message for Sponsors

We suggest you consider stressing to your sponsees the importance of service work such as volunteering for positions at their meetings.  Early in recovery, service work gives recovering sex addicts something to feel good about when they need it most.  Later on, it becomes Step 12 work, a very healthy activity and again a builder of self-esteem.  Some sponsors we know feel so strongly about it that they advise their sponsees either to fill a service position or find another sponsor!

Intergroup Vacancies

Our Intergroup has three vacant positions and a need for website contributors.  These are great opportunities to be of service, and they generally require little or no special expertise.

►  The Inreach Coordinator handles Intergroup activities involving the existing SAA framework, as opposed to Outreach, which works to bring in newcomers.  The Inreach Coordinator’s duties require two (sometimes more) hours per month, plus the monthly Intergroup meeting.

►  The Treasurer manages the Intergroup funds.  The duties generally occupy minimal time – just an hour most months.  Attendance at the monthly Intergroup meeting is encouraged.  This position requires one year of abstinence.

►  The Vice Treasurer works with the Treasurer to manage Intergroup funds.  The duties generally occupy minimal time – just an hour most months.  Attendance at the monthly Intergroup meeting is encouraged.  This position requires one year of abstinence.

►  We are looking for people with website experience of any kind, including those who are willing to learn.

Treasurer and Secretary will be coming due in the next few months so if you are feeling the urge to fulfill the 12th tradition…If you are interested in any of these positions and want to learn more, please contact Ron R. at ocisaa.chair@gmail.com.  Or, you may attend the next monthly Intergroup meeting on September 10th, location TBD.

Needed:  Intergroup Representatives

Only 25% of our meetings have an intergroup rep. The commitment is approximately an hour a month for the intergroup meeting and then a report at least once a month to the group being represented. If your meeting still lacks an Intergroup rep, please tell your secretary that you need one.  For more information, contact us at ocisaa.inreach@gmail.com.  We highly recommend you find someone to fill this service position.  We also suggest if possible, that your group allocate a percentage of its donations to the Intergroup for its activities, which benefit all SAA groups in the region.

Thanks for Your Donations!

We are grateful for the support we receive from the Orange County area SAA meetings.  As you can see from our activities listed in this newsletter, we are putting your donations to good use.  We encourage you to attend our monthly meetings and voice your ideas.

A Note to Event Promoters and Organizers: For those requesting announcements to run in our newsletter, please use the following format – and order – as much as possible:

Who: Are you a committee (of the Intergroup, for example), or an individual SAA meeting group, or another type of organization or individual?
What: Is this a workshop, breakfast, retreat, or another type of event?
Title: What is the name of your event?
When: Give the date and starting and ending times of your event.
Cost: What – if anything – is the suggested contribution, or is it a set fee, or is no one turned away for lack of funds?
Description: In a sentence, or several sentences, say what is unique or especially appealing about your event.
Where: Event address, along with any cross-street info or parking tips you think are important.
More Info: Whom to call for more information?  List a telephone number, email address, and/or website.
Please give us as much lead time as possible, and note that submissions are subject to editing for clarity and space.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

SAA Meeting News

New Meetings:

Costa Mesa (NEW LOCATION Effective Aug. 3th 2015 – formerly at First Methodist Church of Costa Mesa):  

Monday, 7:30 – 9:00 pm
Men Only/Closed/Book Study
Costa Mesa Church of Christ, 287 W. Wilson Street, Costa Mesa, CA 92627
Directions:  Between Harbor Blvd. & Fairview Ave.
For more information call 949-478-5617

Corona Del Mar (NEW LOCATION Effective Aug. 5th 2015 – formerly at First Methodist Church of Costa Mesa):
Wednesday, 7:30 – 9:00 pm
Mixed/Closed/Book Study/Share
St. Michael & All Angels’ Episcopal  Church, 3233 Pacific View Drive, Corona Del Mar, CA 92625 (South Wing Room attached to Church – Enter thru Patio on the Right)
Directions: to be added to website soon! For more information call (949) 636-1917

Wednesday, 12:00 – 1:00 pm
Men only/Closed
Pines Park, 34941 Camino Capistrano, CA 92624
Directions: From the 5 Freeway head south on Camino De Estrella towards Coast Highway, turn right on to Camino Capistrano. Parking will be on the street on Camino Capistrano…….the meeting is held at the upper Park at the south end.
For more information call (949) 547-4498.

Wednesday, 5:00-6:00pm
Closed, men only
1900 E. 4th St., Conference Room 2A, Santa Ana 92705
Free parking in structure
Contact Frank P. (949) 842-3454

Thursday, 7:00-8:00 p.m.
Closed, men only
707 E. Chapman, Orange 92866
Building is close to Orange Traffic Circle, white with green trim, no suite number; parking lot adjacent to building
Contact Chris B. (949) 278-3642

Tuesday, 7:00-8:30 p.m.
Closed, mixed
Book study/Check-in
First Southern Baptist Church, Dining Room
6801 Western Ave., Buena Park, CA 90621 (just north of Orangethorpe Ave.)
Contact Maurice B. (714) 683-8663/motrago@hotmail.com

Changes:

The Monday evening women’s book study meeting has relocated.  Please call 714-485-3655 or email womeninsaa@gmail.com for more details.

The Tuesday morning 6:30 a.m. meeting at the First Methodist Church in Costa Mesa has been canceled.

The Friday morning meeting at the Alano Club has been canceled.

The Monday and Friday Long Beach meetings are no longer at Kaiser Permanente, 3900 E. Pacific Coast Hwy., Long Beach.  The new meeting times and locations are:
—Monday, 7:30-8:30 pm, Mixed/Closed/Step/Tradition/Topic
Unitarian Church, 5450 Atherton St., Long Beach (just West of Bellflower Blvd.), in the Chalice Room
Contact Carole B., 562-841-4348, or e-mail CAROLEMARY@NETZERO.COM
—Friday, 6:30-7:30 pm, Mixed/Closed/Step/Tradition/Topic
Unitarian Church, 5450 Atherton St., Long Beach (just West of Bellflower Blvd.), in the Chalice Room
Contact Carole B., 562-841-4348, or e-mail CAROLEMARY@NETZERO.COM

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Orange County Intergroup Officers and Committee Chairs

Our leaders are but trusted servants; they do not govern. — Tradition 2

Chair: Ron R., ocisaa.chair@gmail.com
Vice Chair: Vacant, ocisaa.vicechair@gmail.com
Digital Communications: Neal B., ocisaa.digicom1@gmail.com (Assistant: Reza B., ocisaa.digicom2@gmail.com)
Inreach: Vacant, ocisaa.inreach@gmail.com
Outreach: Maurice B., ocisaa.outreach@gmail.com
Literature: Ron C., ocisaa.literature@gmail.com
Treasurer: Brian A. (Vice Treasurer: Vacant), ocisaa.treasurer@gmail.com
Secretary: Earl Q., ocisaa.secretary@gmail.com
Newsletter Editor:  Mark D., ocisaa.newsletter@gmail.com
Parliamentarian: Vacant

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Website

If you have ideas or suggestions for the website, please contact our Webmaster, Neal B., at ocisaa.digicom1@gmail.com.

August 2015

carry-the-messageThe purpose of our Intergroup is to more effectively reach the sex addict in the Orange County area who still suffers.  We meet the second Thursday of each month from 7:15-8:30 p.m. in the Albright Room at the First Methodist Church of Costa Mesa, 420 W. 19th St., located at the end of the 55 Freeway across from Triangle Square.  All SAA members are welcome to participate.  If you can’t make it, meeting minutes are published on our website.  We want your ideas!

6th Bi-Annual Retreat

The 6th bi-annual retreat will be held at Mary & Joseph Retreat Center in Rancho Palos Verdes on Sunday August 30th, 2015 from 9am to 5pm.  Details are on under the Upcoming Retreat tab.

As most of you are aware, the meeting location at the First Methodist Church of Costa Mesa is no longer available due to a parking lot expansion project.  We know this location facilitated numerous meetings and your OCI Intergroup is working very hard to fill this gap.  If you know of a location close by that would host a weekly meeting, please let us know.

 * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

My Share

Each month, we publish a personal but anonymous story of recovery.  It can be either an autobiography or about a subject important to your recovery.  Stories should be written in the first person (“I”) and speak from your experience, strength, and hope.  Please submit your story to ocisaa.newsletter@gmail.com.  We may edit submissions for reasons of space, clarity, and appropriate language.  Here is this month’s story:

The Struggle to Stay

She said that I might be a sex addict; that what I was doing was compulsive. She asked if I knew about 12 step programs; then, said it was for my best interest. I was dumbfounded and immediately defended myself stating that just because I am a gay man that does not make me a sex addict. Then, she explained how going to meetings could benefit the difficult situation that my acting out had put me in; so I agreed to look into meetings. She handed me an attendance sheet titled “self-help meeting record”. The fear I felt was deep, so I did what many addicts do – I embraced denial. I denied she knew better, I denied I had lost control, I denied I had a problem. Furthermore, I rationalized that going to meetings were to appease her: not help me. Basically, I did not first enter the rooms of SAA for myself but for someone else.

After a limited Google search for Sex Anonymous meetings, I ended up at a meeting more than 30 miles away, upstairs with 3 men telling their stories and asking me 25 probing questions. Am I addicted to porn? Do I cheat on my partner? Do I have a secret email account? Strippers? Prostitutes? All that was missing was a overhead light and a two way mirror. I left the three guys vowing to return next week, while secretly vowing to myself never to return. I felt like hiding from shame. I felt like a predator. Then I googled different types of anonymous meeting for sexual addiction. Sex Addiction Anonymous (SAA) meetings met on a night as another meeting I go to. SAA seemed to approach sex addiction from a healthy sex perspective, so I went with the paper in hand. I lurked in the parking lot, then left. I did that for 3 weeks before I walked to the door.  A man walked up behind me and opened the door and said this is Sex Addicts Anonymous, would you like to come in? I did.

I didn’t have to identify. So, I didn’t. I didn’t have to pay money. I didn’t have to share. I didn’t have to talk to anyone afterward. I did need my attendance sheet signed. It was. I was handed a small packet of pamphlets. I took them. I left. I ran. I parked under a street lamp and read a pamphlet defining SAA’a approach to sex addiction. I related to the description of a possible sex addict. I read about SAA’s concept of the 3 circles. I learned that I did not have to give up sex altogether like other programs. Over the following week, I thought about the suggestion for someone to attend 6 meetings before making a decision if SAA was right for them. So I went back. Each week I walked in late. I didn’t say a word. I got the paper signed. I left. During this time. I was still chatting on line, hanging out in bookstores, and getting massages. Something felt off. These men were talking about acting out behaviors and emotions and taking positive actions to avoid exactly what I was doing. My denial started to crack. I could see myself in their stories; yet, they never told me that I was an addict. They treated me well. They never pushed me. They allowed me space to find out for myself that I was a sex addict lost in my addiction, hopelessly using people so I did not have to feel anything. And when I felt great, overwhelming shame because of my actions, I opened my mouth and told them what I was doing. I saw heads nodding. I heard them say “yup”. And when I finished the men on either side of me shook my hand, welcomed me, and told me that I had done a good job and that they looked forward to seeing me next week. No pressure. No judgment. No criticism. No interrogation. I was in a room of men who understood and accepted me – faults and all – and wanted to help me recover.

Two and half years later I have a sponsor, I am working steps and have been sober 5 months. Recovery takes time and a willingness to stay. When you stay, honesty develops, actions change, and your self-value increases. I had to stay to realize I was a sex addict. I stay because I am a sex addict. I stay because sobriety not only helps me be a better man, but a better partner, and better member of society.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Intergroup Project Updates

Retaining Newcomers

As always, we want to reach out and retain newcomers since most of us know that abstinence and sobriety is better maintained out of isolation and in the fellowship of others.  Please consider ways to retain newcomers and ensure they feel welcome as I know we all do.

Spanish-Speaking Outreach

We added a Spanish translation of the “12 & 12″ to our website and we now have a location for a Spanish-speaking meeting, details to follow.   We welcome your suggestions.

Internet Keyword Search Optimization

Our internet keyword search through Google is a big success so far.  In July 2015 we had 22,780 impressions, 500 click throughs and our landing page traffic was 581 up from from just 55 in May 2015 when we started this.  To date we have spent approximately $300 and there is discussion on a max monthly amount which will be determined soon.  This is a worthwhile venture and it brings the sex addict who still suffers to our page, hopefully meetings and most importantly to recovery.

Craigslist

The responses continue to ads we placed for SAA on the Orange County Craigslist website.  Sex addicts going there to act out are being presented with an opportunity for recovery, and for some of them, it’s working!

 * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Announcements & Newsnotes

August Retreat

The August retreat as mentioned above is Sunday August 30th, 2015 from 9am to 5pm at Mary and Joseph Retreat Center in Rancho Palos Verdes.  See Upcoming Retreat tab on OCISAA.org for details.

Costa Mesa Meetings

We have found some new locations to replace those that were being held at the First Methodist Church of Costa Mesa.  The new locations are posted on the Meetings tab and are listed as replacements when you go through the list.  We still do not have a confirmed location for the noon meetings that had been held there.  Please keep checking the website for updates.

A Message for Sponsors

We suggest you consider stressing to your sponsees the importance of service work such as volunteering for positions at their meetings.  Early in recovery, service work gives recovering sex addicts something to feel good about when they need it most.  Later on, it becomes Step 12 work, a very healthy activity and again a builder of self-esteem.  Some sponsors we know feel so strongly about it that they advise their sponsees either to fill a service position or find another sponsor!

Intergroup Vacancies

Our Intergroup has three vacant positions and a need for website contributors.  These are great opportunities to be of service, and they generally require little or no special expertise.

►  The Inreach Coordinator handles Intergroup activities involving the existing SAA framework, as opposed to Outreach, which works to bring in newcomers.  The Inreach Coordinator’s duties require two (sometimes more) hours per month, plus the monthly Intergroup meeting.

►  The Treasurer manages the Intergroup funds.  The duties generally occupy minimal time – just an hour most months.  Attendance at the monthly Intergroup meeting is encouraged.  This position requires one year of abstinence.

►  The Vice Treasurer works with the Treasurer to manage Intergroup funds.  The duties generally occupy minimal time – just an hour most months.  Attendance at the monthly Intergroup meeting is encouraged.  This position requires one year of abstinence.

►  We are looking for people with website experience of any kind, including those who are willing to learn.

Treasurer and Secretary will be coming due in the next few months so if you are feeling the urge to fulfill the 12th tradition…If you are interested in any of these positions and want to learn more, please contact Ron R. at ocisaa.chair@gmail.com.  Or, you may attend the next monthly Intergroup meeting on September 10th, location TBD.

Needed:  Intergroup Representatives

Only 25% of our meetings have an intergroup rep. The commitment is approximately an hour a month for the intergroup meeting and then a report at least once a month to the group being represented. If your meeting still lacks an Intergroup rep, please tell your secretary that you need one.  For more information, contact us at ocisaa.inreach@gmail.com.  We highly recommend you find someone to fill this service position.  We also suggest if possible, that your group allocate a percentage of its donations to the Intergroup for its activities, which benefit all SAA groups in the region.

Thanks for Your Donations!

We are grateful for the support we receive from the Orange County area SAA meetings.  As you can see from our activities listed in this newsletter, we are putting your donations to good use.  We encourage you to attend our monthly meetings and voice your ideas.

A Note to Event Promoters and Organizers: For those requesting announcements to run in our newsletter, please use the following format – and order – as much as possible:

Who: Are you a committee (of the Intergroup, for example), or an individual SAA meeting group, or another type of organization or individual?
What: Is this a workshop, breakfast, retreat, or another type of event?
Title: What is the name of your event?
When: Give the date and starting and ending times of your event.
Cost: What – if anything – is the suggested contribution, or is it a set fee, or is no one turned away for lack of funds?
Description: In a sentence, or several sentences, say what is unique or especially appealing about your event.
Where: Event address, along with any cross-street info or parking tips you think are important.
More Info: Whom to call for more information?  List a telephone number, email address, and/or website.
Please give us as much lead time as possible, and note that submissions are subject to editing for clarity and space.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

SAA Meeting News

New Meetings:

Costa Mesa (NEW LOCATION Effective Aug. 3th 2015 – formerly at First Methodist Church of Costa Mesa):  

Monday, 7:30 – 9:00 pm
Men Only/Closed/Book Study
Costa Mesa Church of Christ, 287 W. Wilson Street, Costa Mesa, CA 92627
Directions:  Between Harbor Blvd. & Fairview Ave.
For more information call 949-478-5617

Corona Del Mar (NEW LOCATION Effective Aug. 5th 2015 – formerly at First Methodist Church of Costa Mesa):
Wednesday, 7:30 – 9:00 pm
Mixed/Closed/Book Study/Share
St. Michael & All Angels’ Episcopal  Church, 3233 Pacific View Drive, Corona Del Mar, CA 92625 (South Wing Room attached to Church – Enter thru Patio on the Right)
Directions: to be added to website soon! For more information call (949) 636-1917

Wednesday, 12:00 – 1:00 pm
Men only/Closed
Pines Park, 34941 Camino Capistrano, CA 92624
Directions: From the 5 Freeway head south on Camino De Estrella towards Coast Highway, turn right on to Camino Capistrano. Parking will be on the street on Camino Capistrano…….the meeting is held at the upper Park at the south end.
For more information call (949) 547-4498.

Wednesday, 5:00-6:00pm
Closed, men only
1900 E. 4th St., Conference Room 2A, Santa Ana 92705
Free parking in structure
Contact Frank P. (949) 842-3454

Thursday, 7:00-8:00 p.m.
Closed, men only
707 E. Chapman, Orange 92866
Building is close to Orange Traffic Circle, white with green trim, no suite number; parking lot adjacent to building
Contact Chris B. (949) 278-3642

Tuesday, 7:00-8:30 p.m.
Closed, mixed
Book study/Check-in
First Southern Baptist Church, Dining Room
6801 Western Ave., Buena Park, CA 90621 (just north of Orangethorpe Ave.)
Contact Maurice B. (714) 683-8663/motrago@hotmail.com

Changes:

The Monday evening women’s book study meeting has relocated.  Please call 714-485-3655 or email womeninsaa@gmail.com for more details.

The Tuesday morning 6:30 a.m. meeting at the First Methodist Church in Costa Mesa has been canceled.

The Friday morning meeting at the Alano Club has been canceled.

The Monday and Friday Long Beach meetings are no longer at Kaiser Permanente, 3900 E. Pacific Coast Hwy., Long Beach.  The new meeting times and locations are:
—Monday, 7:30-8:30 pm, Mixed/Closed/Step/Tradition/Topic
Unitarian Church, 5450 Atherton St., Long Beach (just West of Bellflower Blvd.), in the Chalice Room
Contact Carole B., 562-841-4348, or e-mail CAROLEMARY@NETZERO.COM
—Friday, 6:30-7:30 pm, Mixed/Closed/Step/Tradition/Topic
Unitarian Church, 5450 Atherton St., Long Beach (just West of Bellflower Blvd.), in the Chalice Room
Contact Carole B., 562-841-4348, or e-mail CAROLEMARY@NETZERO.COM

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Orange County Intergroup Officers and Committee Chairs

Our leaders are but trusted servants; they do not govern. — Tradition 2

Chair: Ron R., ocisaa.chair@gmail.com
Vice Chair: Vacant, ocisaa.vicechair@gmail.com
Digital Communications: Neal B., ocisaa.digicom1@gmail.com (Assistant: Reza B., ocisaa.digicom2@gmail.com)
Inreach: Vacant, ocisaa.inreach@gmail.com
Outreach: Maurice B., ocisaa.outreach@gmail.com
Literature: Ron C., ocisaa.literature@gmail.com
Treasurer: Brian A. (Vice Treasurer: Vacant), ocisaa.treasurer@gmail.com
Secretary: Earl Q., ocisaa.secretary@gmail.com
Newsletter Editor:  Mark D., ocisaa.newsletter@gmail.com
Parliamentarian: Vacant

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Website

If you have ideas or suggestions for the website, please contact our Webmaster, Neal B., at ocisaa.digicom1@gmail.com.

July 2015

carry-the-messageThe purpose of our Intergroup is to more effectively reach the sex addict in the Orange County area who still suffers.  We meet the second Thursday of each month from 7:15-8:30 p.m. in the Albright Room at the First Methodist Church of Costa Mesa, 420 W. 19th St., located at the end of the 55 Freeway across from Triangle Square.  All SAA members are welcome to participate.  If you can’t make it, meeting minutes are published on our website.  We want your ideas!

6th Bi-Annual Retreat

The 6th bi-annual retreat will be held at Mary & Joseph Retreat Center in Rancho Palos Verdes on Sunday August 30th, 2015 from 9am to 5pm.  Details are on under the Upcoming Retreat tab but for ease they will also be posted here.

As we approach the retreat we eagerly await the chance to meet and form new bonds as well as embrace the fellowships we have already established. We find comfort within our fellowships and know there are others whom have faced this disease and battled to find sobriety which brings hope to many of us. The retreats allow us to further our recovery and give us one more day of sobriety.  Please mark your calendars and join the hope and strength and fellowship on August 30th.
Where:       Mary & Joseph Retreat Center
                      5300 Crest Road, Rancho Palos Verdes, CA 90275
When:        SUNDAY, August 30th, 2015
Time:          9:00am to 5:00pm
Cost:           $20 (Lunch NOT Provided)
Capacity:  *** Limited to 50 People.  First 50 people to pay will get the spots ****

* You will be on your own for lunch, we are not allowed to bring catered food in (except for snacks).  You may also pack a brown bag lunch and eat on the premises. 

 * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

My Share

Each month, we publish a personal but anonymous story of recovery.  It can be either an autobiography or about a subject important to your recovery.  Stories should be written in the first person (“I”) and speak from your experience, strength, and hope.  Please submit your story to ocisaa.newsletter@gmail.com.  We may edit submissions for reasons of space, clarity, and appropriate language.  Here is this month’s story:

 

HOPE

What do we seek to find in recovery? What is it that brings us back?

Hope…hope is what we find bringing us back. Hope is what brings us out of the shadows. We find others in recovery with sobriety that give us hope that we too, can overcome this disease.  We find hope through others stories and gain a new understanding of ourselves in the process.  Let us find find hope through the steps and through fellowship. Share your hope to encourage others…thats what brought me back again and again. That hope I felt is why I am on the road to recovery and can say I am a recovering sex addict.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Intergroup Project Updates

Retaining Newcomers

Anyone who has attended SAA groups for very long knows that some members are in for the long term, but too many others attend a few meetings and leave.  It makes sense that if someone keeps attending meetings, he or she is more likely to make progress in recovering from their sex addiction.  The Orange County Intergroup solicited suggestions from the SAA fellowship to encourage newcomers to keep returning.  The resulting list was published in the March 2015 SAA Newsletter, available elsewhere on this website.  Intergroup representatives were also given copies to distribute at their home meetings.  If you think of more ways to “keep ’em coming back,” please let us know.

Spanish-Speaking Outreach

We added a Spanish translation of the “12 & 12″ to our website and we now have a location for a Spanish-speaking meeting, details to follow.   We welcome your suggestions.

Internet Keyword Search Optimization

We are working toward directing certain Internet searches to our website, using key words and phrases to do so.  Examples are “massage parlor reviews” and “can’t stop watching porn.”  In addition, we are working on inserting key words into recovery stories to help addicts find our program.  Google has approved our search terms and keywords.  Since May 2015 there have been 36,000 impressions and 360 click throughs. In other words, it has been successful and we will be moving ahead with this and implementing a spending cap.

Craigslist

The responses continue to ads we placed for SAA on the Orange County Craigslist website.  Sex addicts going there to act out are being presented with an opportunity for recovery, and for some of them, it’s working!

 * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Announcements & Newsnotes

August Retreat

The August retreat as mentioned above is Sunday August 30th, 2015 from 9am to 5pm at Mary and Joseph Retreat Center in Rancho Palos Verdes.  See Upcoming Retreat tab on OCISAA.org for details.

Costa Mesa Meetings to End

As you may or may not be aware we will be losing our meeting space at the First Methodist Church of Costa Mesa where we hold our monthly intergroup meetings and several daily and weekly meetings. This is due to the church deciding to add more parking and most of the groups, not just ours, will have to find other locations.  Several locations are being finalized and a full list will available in the upcoming August newsletter as well as on the main site.

A Message for Sponsors

We suggest you consider stressing to your sponsees the importance of service work such as volunteering for positions at their meetings.  Early in recovery, service work gives recovering sex addicts something to feel good about when they need it most.  Later on, it becomes Step 12 work, a very healthy activity and again a builder of self-esteem.  Some sponsors we know feel so strongly about it that they advise their sponsees either to fill a service position or find another sponsor!

Intergroup Vacancies

Our Intergroup has four vacant positions and a need for website contributors.  These are great opportunities to be of service, and they generally require little or no special expertise.

►  The Vice Chair works with the Chair to coordinate the Intergroup’s overall activities such as preparing the monthly agenda and helping with surveys.  It’s estimated that Vice Chair duties take about 2-4 hours per month, plus the monthly Intergroup meeting.

►  The Inreach Coordinator handles Intergroup activities involving the existing SAA framework, as opposed to Outreach, which works to bring in newcomers.  The Inreach Coordinator’s duties require two (sometimes more) hours per month, plus the monthly Intergroup meeting.

►  The Vice Treasurer works with the Treasurer to manage Intergroup funds.  The duties generally occupy minimal time – just an hour most months.  Attendance at the monthly Intergroup meeting is encouraged.  This position requires one year of abstinence.

►  We are looking for people with website experience of any kind, including those who are willing to learn.

Treasurer and Secretary will be coming due in the next few months so if you are feeling the urge to fulfill the 12th tradition…If you are interested in any of these positions and want to learn more, please contact Ron R. at ocisaa.chair@gmail.com.  Or, you may attend the next monthly Intergroup meeting on August 13th.

Needed:  Intergroup Representatives

Only 25% of our meetings have an intergroup rep. The commitment is approximately an hour a month for the intergroup meeting and then a report at least once a month to the group being represented. If your meeting still lacks an Intergroup rep, please tell your secretary that you need one.  For more information, contact us at ocisaa.inreach@gmail.com.  We highly recommend you find someone to fill this service position.  We also suggest if possible, that your group allocate a percentage of its donations to the Intergroup for its activities, which benefit all SAA groups in the region.

Thanks for Your Donations!

We are grateful for the support we receive from the Orange County area SAA meetings.  As you can see from our activities listed in this newsletter, we are putting your donations to good use.  We encourage you to attend our monthly meetings and voice your ideas.

A Note to Event Promoters and Organizers: For those requesting announcements to run in our newsletter, please use the following format – and order – as much as possible:

Who: Are you a committee (of the Intergroup, for example), or an individual SAA meeting group, or another type of organization or individual?
What: Is this a workshop, breakfast, retreat, or another type of event?
Title: What is the name of your event?
When: Give the date and starting and ending times of your event.
Cost: What – if anything – is the suggested contribution, or is it a set fee, or is no one turned away for lack of funds?
Description: In a sentence, or several sentences, say what is unique or especially appealing about your event.
Where: Event address, along with any cross-street info or parking tips you think are important.
More Info: Whom to call for more information?  List a telephone number, email address, and/or website.
Please give us as much lead time as possible, and note that submissions are subject to editing for clarity and space.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

SAA Meeting News

New Meetings:

Wednesday, 12:00 – 1:00 pm
Men only/Closed
Pines Park, 34941 Camino Capistrano, CA 92624
Directions: From the 5 Freeway head south on Camino De Estrella towards Coast Highway, turn right on to Camino Capistrano. Parking will be on the street on Camino Capistrano…….the meeting is held at the upper Park at the south end.
For more information call (949) 547-4498.

Wednesday, 5:00-6:00pm
Closed, men only
1900 E. 4th St., Conference Room 2A, Santa Ana 92705
Free parking in structure
Contact Frank P. (949) 842-3454

Thursday, 7:00-8:00 p.m.
Closed, men only
707 E. Chapman, Orange 92866
Building is close to Orange Traffic Circle, white with green trim, no suite number; parking lot adjacent to building
Contact Chris B. (949) 278-3642

Friday, noon-1:00 p.m.
Closed, men only
St. Matthew’s Church
1111 W. Town & Country Rd., Unit 14, Orange 92868
In the Town & Country Business Center North (look for “Gondola Subs”), around the back
Contact Casey (323) 375-7322

Tuesday, 7:00-8:30 p.m.
Closed, mixed
Book study/Check-in
First Southern Baptist Church, Dining Room
6801 Western Ave., Buena Park, CA 90621 (just north of Orangethorpe Ave.)
Contact Maurice B. (714) 683-8663/motrago@hotmail.com

Changes:

The Monday evening women’s book study meeting has relocated.  Please call 714-485-3655 or email womeninsaa@gmail.com for more details.

The Tuesday morning 6:30 a.m. meeting at the First Methodist Church in Costa Mesa has been canceled.

The Friday morning meeting at the Alano Club has been canceled.

The Monday and Friday Long Beach meetings are no longer at Kaiser Permanente, 3900 E. Pacific Coast Hwy., Long Beach.  The new meeting times and locations are:
—Monday, 7:30-8:30 pm, Mixed/Closed/Step/Tradition/Topic
Unitarian Church, 5450 Atherton St., Long Beach (just West of Bellflower Blvd.), in the Chalice Room
Contact Carole B., 562-841-4348, or e-mail CAROLEMARY@NETZERO.COM
—Friday, 6:30-7:30 pm, Mixed/Closed/Step/Tradition/Topic
Unitarian Church, 5450 Atherton St., Long Beach (just West of Bellflower Blvd.), in the Chalice Room
Contact Carole B., 562-841-4348, or e-mail CAROLEMARY@NETZERO.COM

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Orange County Intergroup Officers and Committee Chairs

Our leaders are but trusted servants; they do not govern. — Tradition 2

Chair: Ron R., ocisaa.chair@gmail.com
Vice Chair: Vacant, ocisaa.vicechair@gmail.com
Digital Communications: Neal B., ocisaa.digicom1@gmail.com (Assistant: Reza B., ocisaa.digicom2@gmail.com)
Inreach: Vacant, ocisaa.inreach@gmail.com
Outreach: Maurice B., ocisaa.outreach@gmail.com
Literature: Ron C., ocisaa.literature@gmail.com
Treasurer: Brian A. (Vice Treasurer: Vacant), ocisaa.treasurer@gmail.com
Secretary: Earl Q., ocisaa.secretary@gmail.com
Newsletter Editor:  Mark D., ocisaa.newsletter@gmail.com
Parliamentarian: Vacant

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Website

If you have ideas or suggestions for the website, please contact our Webmaster, Neal B., at ocisaa.digicom1@gmail.com.

June 2015

carry-the-messageThe purpose of our Intergroup is to more effectively reach the sex addict in the Orange County area who still suffers.  We meet the second Thursday of each month from 7:15-8:30 p.m. in the Albright Room at the First Methodist Church of Costa Mesa, 420 W. 19th St., located at the end of the 55 Freeway across from Triangle Square.  All SAA members are welcome to participate.  If you can’t make it, meeting minutes are published on our website.  We want your ideas!

The 12th Step and Service

In last month’s newsletter we discussed Service and this lead article ran…I feel it is important and will run it once more this month hoping to spark someone’s desire to serve. In addition we are ramping up for the August Retreat…more details will be available soon. As of right now, it appears the retreat will be held at Mariner’s Church however no firm confirmation was available as of this writing. Retreats are great opportunities to connect with others in recovery and pick up additional tools. They allow us to find new outer circle activities and avoid isolating ourselves. Check back for details or check-in at a meeting.  Thank you for letting me be of service.

In recovery we come to a point of clarity and find ourselves ready to serve others in many ways.  We share our story with others, we listen to each other and many of us find that choosing a service position whether within our own meeting group or in the larger Intergroup satisfies our desire to continually practice the 12th step which states, “Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to other sex addicts and to practice these principles in our lives.” (SAA Green Book).  While service comes in many forms for everyone, serving the Intergroup provides service to our entire community.  Without the Intergroup service positions this website would not exist and neither would the network and ease of finding a meeting.  Service to others allows us to come out of isolation and break the cycle.  It allows us to remember that others are depending on us to help in their recovery.

The Orange County Intergroup has several service positions available, which are highlighted in the Intergroup Announcements/Newsnotes later in this newsletter.  As you read and digest this month’s newsletter, take a moment and consider serving in any capacity, no matter how small or how large, knowing that your service is helping make recovery possible for many.

 * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

My Share

Each month, we publish a personal but anonymous story of recovery.  It can be either an autobiography or about a subject important to your recovery.  Stories should be written in the first person (“I”) and speak from your experience, strength, and hope.  Please submit your story to ocisaa.newsletter@gmail.com.  We may edit submissions for reasons of space, clarity, and appropriate language.  Here is this month’s story:

Forward Progress

Progress is defined, in part, by the Webster’s Dictionary as a forward or onward movement (as to an objective or to a goal). If we think of this forward or onward movement in terms of recovery we can begin to realize the fulfillment of The Promises of SAA.  SAA embraces progress when we say one day at a time.  Its this progress thing that becomes lost when we begin the recovery journey.  I’m a perfectionist, a true defect of character and dangerous in recovery as well as life in general since there is no such thing as “perfect” in real life.

When I came to SAA six years ago, I was ready to enter recovery however I had this idea that I needed to be perfect.  I strived to maintain some sobriety but i couldn’t manage more than a week of solid sobriety.  The addiction had taken hold and instead of focusing on restarting my time and giving myself some credit, I saw this as a failure. That drove me right back into acting out further since stress, feelings of failure, etc caused me to act out in the first place. As I put more time into recovery and the program, I began to realize my defects including the perfectionism. The light flicked on and allowed me a new perspective, one that allowed me to refocus the perfect vision to a vision of measuring success and failure. I accepted that failures were bound to occur, without being negative. I realized that success was knowing when I entered the inner circle and pulled myself out, success was when I had 60 days of sobriety and acted out only to reset the clock and not get down on myself as I gained more knowledge.  This wasn’t an excuse for acting out by any means.  To me success is progress, progress is success…Progress is learning from failure and moving forward, not dwelling on it.

Progress is accepting failure and striving to better your position through lessons learned. There are plenty of failures in the world, but those failures are what provided us with many great innovations…failures that gave the innovators more knowledge and the ability to  make progress toward successfully delivering us their creativity, ingenuity and inventions that dramatically changed our way of life. I’m reminded of a few quotes by Thomas Edison:

“Our greatest weakness lies in giving up. The most certain way to succeed is always to try just one more time.”

“I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.”

Edison’s view of failure is one of forward thinking and seeing failure as an opportunity to make progress toward success.  Like Edison, we find ways that won’t work for us, but if try just one more time we might find that way that works for us and carries us forward in recovery.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Intergroup Project Updates

Retaining Newcomers

Anyone who has attended SAA groups for very long knows that some members are in for the long term, but too many others attend a few meetings and leave.  It makes sense that if someone keeps attending meetings, he or she is more likely to make progress in recovering from their sex addiction.  The Orange County Intergroup solicited suggestions from the SAA fellowship to encourage newcomers to keep returning.  The resulting list was published in the March 2015 SAA Newsletter, available elsewhere on this website.  Intergroup representatives were also given copies to distribute at their home meetings.  If you think of more ways to “keep ’em coming back,” please let us know.

Spanish-Speaking Outreach

We are unaware of any Spanish-language SAA meetings in the Orange County area.  We added a Spanish translation of the “12 & 12″ to our website and we now have a location for a Spanish-speaking meeting, details to follow.   We welcome your suggestions.

Internet Keyword Search Optimization

We are working toward directing certain Internet searches to our website, using key words and phrases to do so.  Examples are “massage parlor reviews” and “can’t stop watching porn.”  In addition, we are working on inserting key words into recovery stories to help addicts find our program.  Google has approved our search terms and keywords.  At a recent meeting, we approved a 30-day test run.  We will inform you of the results.

Craigslist

The responses continue to ads we placed for SAA on the Orange County Craigslist website.  Sex addicts going there to act out are being presented with an opportunity for recovery, and for some of them, it’s working!

 * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Announcements & Newsnotes

August Retreat

The retreat location is being finalized, check back for location details.  If you have topic suggestions or if you would like to lead a discussion group, please attend the next Intergroup meeting on June 11, or email your suggestions to ocisaa.chair@gmail.com.

A Message for Sponsors

We suggest you consider stressing to your sponsees the importance of service work such as volunteering for positions at their meetings.  Early in recovery, service work gives recovering sex addicts something to feel good about when they need it most.  Later on, it becomes Step 12 work, a very healthy activity and again a builder of self-esteem.  Some sponsors we know feel so strongly about it that they advise their sponsees either to fill a service position or find another sponsor!

Intergroup Vacancies

Our Intergroup has four vacant positions and a need for website contributors.  These are great opportunities to be of service, and they generally require little or no special expertise.

►  The Vice Chair works with the Chair to coordinate the Intergroup’s overall activities such as preparing the monthly agenda and helping with surveys.  It’s estimated that Vice Chair duties take about 2-4 hours per month, plus the monthly Intergroup meeting.

►  The Inreach Coordinator handles Intergroup activities involving the existing SAA framework, as opposed to Outreach, which works to bring in newcomers.  The Inreach Coordinator’s duties require two (sometimes more) hours per month, plus the monthly Intergroup meeting.

►  The Vice Treasurer works with the Treasurer to manage Intergroup funds.  The duties generally occupy minimal time – just an hour most months.  Attendance at the monthly Intergroup meeting is encouraged.  This position requires one year of abstinence.

►  The Parliamentarian keeps order in the monthly Intergroup meetings (according to Robert’s Rules of Order, but detailed knowledge is unnecessary) and also leads a short discussion about one of the 12 Traditions each month.

►  We are looking for people with website experience of any kind, including those who are willing to learn.

If you are interested in any of these positions and want to learn more, please contact Ron R. at ocisaa.chair@gmail.com.  Or, you may attend the next monthly Intergroup meeting on June 11.

Needed:  Intergroup Representatives

If your meeting still lacks an Intergroup rep, please tell your secretary that you need one.  For more information, contact us at ocisaa.inreach@gmail.com.  We highly recommend you find someone to fill this service position.  We also suggest if possible, that your group allocate a percentage of its donations to the Intergroup for its activities, which benefit all SAA groups in the region.

Thanks for Your Donations!

We are grateful for the support we receive from the Orange County area SAA meetings.  As you can see from our activities listed in this newsletter, we are putting your donations to good use.  We encourage you to attend our monthly meetings and voice your ideas.

A Note to Event Promoters and Organizers: For those requesting announcements to run in our newsletter, please use the following format – and order – as much as possible:

Who: Are you a committee (of the Intergroup, for example), or an individual SAA meeting group, or another type of organization or individual?
What: Is this a workshop, breakfast, retreat, or another type of event?
Title: What is the name of your event?
When: Give the date and starting and ending times of your event.
Cost: What – if anything – is the suggested contribution, or is it a set fee, or is no one turned away for lack of funds?
Description: In a sentence, or several sentences, say what is unique or especially appealing about your event.
Where: Event address, along with any cross-street info or parking tips you think are important.
More Info: Whom to call for more information?  List a telephone number, email address, and/or website.
Please give us as much lead time as possible, and note that submissions are subject to editing for clarity and space.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

SAA Meeting News

New Meetings:

Wednesday, 12:00 – 1:00 pm
Men only/Closed
Pines Park, 34941 Camino Capistrano, CA 92624
Directions: From the 5 Freeway head south on Camino De Estrella towards Coast Highway, turn right on to Camino Capistrano. Parking will be on the street on Camino Capistrano…….the meeting is held at the upper Park at the south end.
For more information call (949) 547-4498.

Wednesday, 5:00-6:00pm
Closed, men only
1900 E. 4th St., Conference Room 2A, Santa Ana 92705
Free parking in structure
Contact Frank P. (949) 842-3454

Thursday, 7:00-8:00 p.m.
Closed, men only
707 E. Chapman, Orange 92866
Building is close to Orange Traffic Circle, white with green trim, no suite number; parking lot adjacent to building
Contact Chris B. (949) 278-3642

Friday, noon-1:00 p.m.
Closed, men only
St. Matthew’s Church
1111 W. Town & Country Rd., Unit 14, Orange 92868
In the Town & Country Business Center North (look for “Gondola Subs”), around the back
Contact Casey (323) 375-7322

Tuesday, 7:00-8:30 p.m.
Closed, mixed
Book study/Check-in
First Southern Baptist Church, Dining Room
6801 Western Ave., Buena Park, CA 90621 (just north of Orangethorpe Ave.)
Contact Maurice B. (714) 683-8663/motrago@hotmail.com

Changes:

The Monday evening women’s book study meeting has relocated.  Please call 714-485-3655 or email womeninsaa@gmail.com for more details.

The Tuesday morning 6:30 a.m. meeting at the First Methodist Church in Costa Mesa has been canceled.

The Friday morning meeting at the Alano Club has been canceled.

The Monday and Friday Long Beach meetings are no longer at Kaiser Permanente, 3900 E. Pacific Coast Hwy., Long Beach.  The new meeting times and locations are:
—Monday, 7:30-8:30 pm, Mixed/Closed/Step/Tradition/Topic
Unitarian Church, 5450 Atherton St., Long Beach (just West of Bellflower Blvd.), in the Chalice Room
Contact Carole B., 562-841-4348, or e-mail CAROLEMARY@NETZERO.COM
—Friday, 6:30-7:30 pm, Mixed/Closed/Step/Tradition/Topic
Unitarian Church, 5450 Atherton St., Long Beach (just West of Bellflower Blvd.), in the Chalice Room
Contact Carole B., 562-841-4348, or e-mail CAROLEMARY@NETZERO.COM

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Orange County Intergroup Officers and Committee Chairs

Our leaders are but trusted servants; they do not govern. — Tradition 2

Chair: Ron R., ocisaa.chair@gmail.com
Vice Chair: Vacant, ocisaa.vicechair@gmail.com
Digital Communications: Neal B., ocisaa.digicom1@gmail.com (Assistant: Reza B., ocisaa.digicom2@gmail.com)
Inreach: Vacant, ocisaa.inreach@gmail.com
Outreach: Maurice B., ocisaa.outreach@gmail.com
Literature: Ron C., ocisaa.literature@gmail.com
Treasurer: Brian A. (Vice Treasurer: Vacant), ocisaa.treasurer@gmail.com
Secretary: Earl Q., ocisaa.secretary@gmail.com
Newsletter Editor:  Mark D., ocisaa.newsletter@gmail.com
Parliamentarian: Vacant

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Website

If you have ideas or suggestions for the website, please contact our Webmaster, Neal B., at ocisaa.digicom1@gmail.com.

May 2015

carry-the-messageThe purpose of our Intergroup is to more effectively reach the sex addict in the Orange County area who still suffers.  We meet the second Thursday of each month from 7:15-8:30 p.m. in the Albright Room at the First Methodist Church of Costa Mesa, 420 W. 19th St., located at the end of the 55 Freeway across from Triangle Square.  All SAA members are welcome to participate.  If you can’t make it, meeting minutes are published on our website.  We want your ideas!

The 12th Step and Service

In recovery we come to a point of clarity and find ourselves ready to serve others in many ways.  We share our story with others, we listen to each other and many of us find that choosing a service position whether within our own meeting group or in the larger Intergroup satisfies our desire to continually practice the 12th step which states, “Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to other sex addicts and to practice these principles in our lives.” (SAA Green Book).  While service comes in many forms for everyone, serving the Intergroup provides service to our entire community.  Without the Intergroup service positions this website would not exist and neither would the network and ease of finding a meeting.  Service to others allows us to come out of isolation and break the cycle.  It allows us to remember that others are depending on us to help in their recovery.

The Orange County Intergroup has several service positions available, which are highlighted in the Intergroup Announcements/Newsnotes later in this newsletter.  As you read and digest this month’s newsletter, take a moment and consider serving in any capacity, no matter how small or how large, knowing that your service is helping make recovery possible for many.

 * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

My Share

Each month, we publish a personal but anonymous story of recovery.  It can be either an autobiography or about a subject important to your recovery.  Stories should be written in the first person (“I”) and speak from your experience, strength, and hope.  Please submit your story to ocisaa.newsletter@gmail.com.  We may edit submissions for reasons of space, clarity, and appropriate language.  Here is this month’s story:

The Pink Cloud

I didn’t join SAA because I was tired of acting out, I came with my tail between my legs after my wife caught me acting out.  I was distraught and desperate.  I didn’t want to lose my marriage.  In such a mental state, I had no desire to act out.  That was the last thing on my mind.

Actually, I didn’t come to SAA directly.  I went to counseling.  The counselor said he would only continue seeing me if I joined a 12-step sex addiction recovery group.  At my first meeting, I knew I belonged there, although it took three meetings with three different 12-step groups to decide that SAA would be the best group for me.

I began attending SAA meetings regularly, still scared out of my mind.  I got a sponsor and started working the steps.  Two months into the program, my mind was still somewhat reeling, but I was making good progress in my recovery.  My wife began to defrost, and I still didn’t want to act out.  That was great!

Things continued that way for awhile.  My relationship with my wife improved even more, and I completed Step 3 and began work on Step 4.  Life was great.  Then it happened, and it happened because life was great.

I began thinking that I had mostly recovered from my disease.  Perhaps more important, my wife and I were friends again.  I was no longer desperate, no longer afraid.  I didn’t know what it meant at the time, but the Pink Cloud was gone.  In fact, I didn’t even hear that term until I’d been in the program for a couple of years.  So what’s the Pink Cloud?

The Pink Cloud is that period in early recovery when we don’t want to act out because we’re so desperate and afraid.  The length of time can vary, but most of us are on this cloud for a spell.  It’s important to know this is temporary.  It’s just a cloud, and clouds evaporate.  Mine did, and I landed with a resounding thud.  Had I stuck with the program, I could have floated down like a feather.

I grew overconfident; and like many of us who fall off the wagon, I only wanted to do what I thought was the minimum necessary for my recovery.  (I have since discovered, the hard way, that my minimum is not enough.  I forgot that my “best thinking” got me into SAA.)  I stopped calling my sponsor as often, then stopped calling him altogether.  I stopped working on my 4th Step.  I began dabbling in my middle circle, which led inevitably back to my inner circle.  Which eventually got me caught again by my wife.  Which put me back on the Pink Cloud.

It took more than once on this merry-go-round, but I eventually learned to take the program seriously enough to land on my feet once my Pink Cloud evaporated.  And as the Promises promise, I see things more clearly now that used to baffle me.  One is the Pink Cloud.

The Pink Cloud is valuable.  It allows us time to get a good start on recovery before we’re tempted to act out again.  But we need to know that it’s temporary.  When we share at meetings, or if we sponsor others, we can tell them to expect the cloud to go away and the desire to act out to return.  In my experience, if I learn something in advance, I can cope with it better when it happens.

That’s what I know about the Pink Cloud.  Now if someone can just tell me why it’s pink????

 

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Intergroup Project Updates

Retaining Newcomers

Anyone who has attended SAA groups for very long knows that some members are in for the long term, but too many others attend a few meetings and leave.  It makes sense that if someone keeps attending meetings, he or she is more likely to make progress in recovering from their sex addiction.  The Orange County Intergroup solicited suggestions from the SAA fellowship to encourage newcomers to keep returning.  The resulting list was published in the March 2015 SAA Newsletter, available elsewhere on this website.  Intergroup representatives were also given copies to distribute at their home meetings.  If you think of more ways to “keep ’em coming back,” please let us know.

Spanish-Speaking Outreach

We are unaware of any Spanish-language SAA meetings in the Orange County area.  We added a Spanish translation of the “12 & 12” to our website and we now have a location for a Spanish-speaking meeting, details to follow.   We welcome your suggestions.

Internet Keyword Search Optimization

We are working toward directing certain Internet searches to our website, using key words and phrases to do so.  Examples are “massage parlor reviews” and “can’t stop watching porn.”  In addition, we are working on inserting key words into recovery stories to help addicts find our program.  Google has approved our search terms and keywords.  At a recent meeting, we approved a 30-day test run.  We will inform you of the results.

Craigslist

The responses continue to ads we placed for SAA on the Orange County Craigslist website.  Sex addicts going there to act out are being presented with an opportunity for recovery, and for some of them, it’s working!

 * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Announcements & Newsnotes

August Retreat

The retreat location is being finalized, check back for location details.  If you have topic suggestions or if you would like to lead a discussion group, please attend the next Intergroup meeting on June 11, or email your suggestions to ocisaa.chair@gmail.com.

A Message for Sponsors

We suggest you consider stressing to your sponsees the importance of service work such as volunteering for positions at their meetings.  Early in recovery, service work gives recovering sex addicts something to feel good about when they need it most.  Later on, it becomes Step 12 work, a very healthy activity and again a builder of self-esteem.  Some sponsors we know feel so strongly about it that they advise their sponsees either to fill a service position or find another sponsor!

Intergroup Vacancies

Our Intergroup has four vacant positions and a need for website contributors.  These are great opportunities to be of service, and they generally require little or no special expertise.

►  The Vice Chair works with the Chair to coordinate the Intergroup’s overall activities such as preparing the monthly agenda and helping with surveys.  It’s estimated that Vice Chair duties take about 2-4 hours per month, plus the monthly Intergroup meeting.

►  The Inreach Coordinator handles Intergroup activities involving the existing SAA framework, as opposed to Outreach, which works to bring in newcomers.  The Inreach Coordinator’s duties require two (sometimes more) hours per month, plus the monthly Intergroup meeting.

►  The Vice Treasurer works with the Treasurer to manage Intergroup funds.  The duties generally occupy minimal time – just an hour most months.  Attendance at the monthly Intergroup meeting is encouraged.  This position requires one year of abstinence.

►  The Parliamentarian keeps order in the monthly Intergroup meetings (according to Robert’s Rules of Order, but detailed knowledge is unnecessary) and also leads a short discussion about one of the 12 Traditions each month.

►  We are looking for website contributors of any kind, including those who are willing to learn.

If you are interested in any of these positions and want to learn more, please contact Ron R. at ocisaa.chair@gmail.com.  Or, you may attend the next monthly Intergroup meeting on June 11.

Needed:  Intergroup Representatives

If your meeting still lacks an Intergroup rep, please tell your secretary that you need one.  For more information, contact us at ocisaa.inreach@gmail.com.  We highly recommend you find someone to fill this service position.  We also suggest if possible, that your group allocate a percentage of its donations to the Intergroup for its activities, which benefit all SAA groups in the region.

Thanks for Your Donations!

We are grateful for the support we receive from the Orange County area SAA meetings.  As you can see from our activities listed in this newsletter, we are putting your donations to good use.  We encourage you to attend our monthly meetings and voice your ideas.

A Note to Event Promoters and Organizers: For those requesting announcements to run in our newsletter, please use the following format – and order – as much as possible:

Who: Are you a committee (of the Intergroup, for example), or an individual SAA meeting group, or another type of organization or individual?
What: Is this a workshop, breakfast, retreat, or another type of event?
Title: What is the name of your event?
When: Give the date and starting and ending times of your event.
Cost: What – if anything – is the suggested contribution, or is it a set fee, or is no one turned away for lack of funds?
Description: In a sentence, or several sentences, say what is unique or especially appealing about your event.
Where: Event address, along with any cross-street info or parking tips you think are important.
More Info: Whom to call for more information?  List a telephone number, email address, and/or website.
Please give us as much lead time as possible, and note that submissions are subject to editing for clarity and space.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

SAA Meeting News

New Meetings:

Wednesday, 12:00 – 1:00 pm
Men only/Closed
Pines Park, 34941 Camino Capistrano, CA 92624
Directions: From the 5 Freeway head south on Camino De Estrella towards Coast Highway, turn right on to Camino Capistrano. Parking will be on the street on Camino Capistrano…….the meeting is held at the upper Park at the south end.
For more information call (949) 547-4498.

Wednesday, 5:00-6:00pm
Closed, men only
1900 E. 4th St., Conference Room 2A, Santa Ana 92705
Free parking in structure
Contact Frank P. (949) 842-3454

Thursday, 7:00-8:00 p.m.
Closed, men only
707 E. Chapman, Orange 92866
Building is close to Orange Traffic Circle, white with green trim, no suite number; parking lot adjacent to building
Contact Chris B. (949) 278-3642

Friday, noon-1:00 p.m.
Closed, men only
St. Matthew’s Church
1111 W. Town & Country Rd., Unit 14, Orange 92868
In the Town & Country Business Center North (look for “Gondola Subs”), around the back
Contact Casey (323) 375-7322

Tuesday, 7:00-8:30 p.m.
Closed, mixed
Book study/Check-in
First Southern Baptist Church, Dining Room
6801 Western Ave., Buena Park, CA 90621 (just north of Orangethorpe Ave.)
Contact Maurice B. (714) 683-8663/motrago@hotmail.com

Changes:

The Monday evening women’s book study meeting has relocated.  Please call 714-485-3655 or email womeninsaa@gmail.com for more details.

The Tuesday morning 6:30 a.m. meeting at the First Methodist Church in Costa Mesa has been canceled.

The Friday morning meeting at the Alano Club has been canceled.

The Monday and Friday Long Beach meetings are no longer at Kaiser Permanente, 3900 E. Pacific Coast Hwy., Long Beach.  The new meeting times and locations are:
—Monday, 7:30-8:30 pm, Mixed/Closed/Step/Tradition/Topic
Unitarian Church, 5450 Atherton St., Long Beach (just West of Bellflower Blvd.), in the Chalice Room
Contact Carole B., 562-841-4348, or e-mail CAROLEMARY@NETZERO.COM
Friday, 6:30-7:30 pm, Mixed/Closed/Step/Tradition/Topic
Unitarian Church, 5450 Atherton St., Long Beach (just West of Bellflower Blvd.), in the Chalice Room
Contact Carole B., 562-841-4348, or e-mail CAROLEMARY@NETZERO.COM

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Orange County Intergroup Officers and Committee Chairs

Our leaders are but trusted servants; they do not govern. — Tradition 2

Chair: Ron R., ocisaa.chair@gmail.com
Vice Chair: Vacantocisaa.vicechair@gmail.com
Digital Communications: Neal B., ocisaa.digicom1@gmail.com (Assistant: Reza B., ocisaa.digicom2@gmail.com)
Inreach: Vacantocisaa.inreach@gmail.com
Outreach: Maurice B., ocisaa.outreach@gmail.com
Literature: Ron C., ocisaa.literature@gmail.com
Treasurer: Brian A. (Vice Treasurer: Vacant), ocisaa.treasurer@gmail.com
Secretary: Earl Q., ocisaa.secretary@gmail.com
Newsletter Editor:  Mark D., ocisaa.newsletter@gmail.com
Parliamentarian: Vacant

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Website

If you have ideas or suggestions for the website, please contact our Webmaster, Neal B., at ocisaa.digicom1@gmail.com.

April 2015

carry-the-messageThe purpose of our Intergroup is to more effectively reach the sex addict in the Orange County area who still suffers.  We meet the second Thursday of each month from 7:15-8:30 p.m. in the Albright Room at the First Methodist Church of Costa Mesa, 420 W. 19th St., located at the end of the 55 Freeway across from Triangle Square.  All SAA members are welcome to participate.  If you can’t make it, meeting minutes are published on our website.  We want your ideas!

Wanted:  Topics for Our Next Retreat

We are currently preparing for our next retreat in August.  Retreats are a great way to find strength, hope, and courage while creating friendships and recovery.  Our last retreat in January 2015 had 50 attendees from Southern California.  The topic was “ISOLATION:  Causes and Cures” which highlighted a major component to our disease and ways to emerge from it.  Retreats are packed with great recovery opportunities and feature speakers, workshops, discussions, and panels, plus food!  The raffle prizes during the January retreat were two high definition LCD TVs…great prizes just in time for the Super Bowl.  We look forward to seeing everyone for fellowship, recovery, and hope.  The date and location are still being worked out with details coming soon.

We are soliciting suggestions for the main topic, or topics, to be featured at our next retreat.  What would you like to learn more about?  Or is there a subject you would like to present to others because you have learned a lot about it?  Here are some of the suggestions we have received so far:

►  How acting out affects my job/career
►  Sponsorship
►  The amends steps (8 and 9)
►  From inner to outer circle
►  Stepwork – why we have trouble moving forward (ed. note:  see the next article)
►  Shame and guilt
►  How and why to keep coming back
►  Honesty
►  Sharing with fellow sex addicts
►  Being of service/service positions
►  Fellowship
►  Support from/relationships with family and friends
►  Recognition of myself in others who are managing to stay sober
►  Not giving up
►  Openness
►  Acceptance
►  What happens before and after group meetings
►  How to organize and conduct a timely and educational SAA meeting
►  How to help others, e.g. hearing their story; taking the time; being friendly, helpful, and nonjudgmental

If you have further suggestions or if you would like to lead a discussion group, please attend the next Intergroup meeting on May 14, or email your suggestions to ocisaa.chair@gmail.com.

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My Share

Each month, we publish a personal but anonymous story of recovery.  It can be either an autobiography or about a subject important to your recovery.  Stories should be written in the first person (“I”) and speak from your experience, strength, and hope.  Please submit your story to ocisaa.newsletter@gmail.com.  We may edit submissions for reasons of space, clarity, and appropriate language.  Here is this month’s story:

Working the Steps:  Why Are They So Darned Steep? (and How I Climbed Them Anyway)

In the last Intergroup survey, working the steps was the second most prevalent problem for SAA members, right behind using the phone.  One-fourth of all respondents listed stepwork as one of the two toughest things in their recovery.  Some members cited stepwork in general; others, specific steps such as 1, 4, 9, or 12.

Me?  I bogged down on Step Four.  After joining a group and getting a sponsor, I conscientiously completed Steps 1, 2, and 3.  My life was better.  My relationship with my wife had improved.  I hadn’t acted out since my recovery began.  But man!  Step Four looked like a mountain.  Lots of lists, lots of columns, lots of work for someone who was doing so well in his recovery, I thought.  I began working on the step, but the incentive – the desperation – was gone; so I slowed down, then stopped.  When my wife asked why I wasn’t working on my steps, I said she needn’t worry.  Look at our relationship, I said.  I’m not acting out, I said.  Don’t worry, honey, I’ll complete the steps eventually.  But there’s no hurry.   I’m sure I’ll get something from the last nine steps, but I’m already enjoying most of the benefits from what I’ve already done.

I believed that myself, sort of.  I wanted to believe it, anyway.  But, overconfident, I fell victim to a common tendency among us recovering sex addicts:  to do the least we think necessary in order to stay abstinent.  Unfortunately, that is never enough.  I stopped calling my sponsor.  I began to dabble in my middle circle.  One day there I was, back in my inner circle, where I stayed for a year and a half until my wife caught me acting out.  Again.  I felt so low, so ashamed, so afraid.  Why my wife stuck with me is a miracle, but that’s another story.

My desperation had returned.  I called my sponsor, who was surprised to hear from me.  He suggested, in his insistent way, that I resume my stepwork.  This time he structured it for me:  15 minutes a day, no more, no less, no days off.  I protested:  Why can’t I do more if I feel like it?  15 minutes a day, no more, no less, no days off.  But it’ll take most of that time to review my previous work!  15 minutes a day, no more, no less, no days off.  What if I’m on vacation?  Sick?  Visiting friends?  15 minutes a day, no more, no less, no days off.  I thought I was talking to a broken record, but eventually he continued, saying he expected me to call him every day with a status report.  This time, I knew better than to protest.  His broken-record answer would always be every day, every day, every day.

I took up Step Four again.  Funny thing was, the step didn’t seem such a mountain anymore.  All I had to do was make a bit of progress each day.  I completed it and began the next step.  It wasn’t overwhelming, either.  Johnny Cash did a song, “One Piece at a Time,” in which, one by one, he gradually stole enough parts from his auto manufacturer employer to build a whole car.  The Johnny Cash approach worked for me.  It took about eight months to complete the last nine steps, 15 minutes a day, no more, no less, no days off.  And man, I felt good!!!

I learned a lot from each one of the 12 Steps, more than I thought I would.  Now I can apply the steps to my daily life and help others do the same.  That is so important in maintaining my sobriety.  How could I ever have believed otherwise?  Actually, that’s easy.  My addict is a clever S.O.B. and will fool me if it can.  And it did.  Working the steps daily – all 12 of them – helps me recognize my devious devil’s antics and gives me tools to keep the devil at bay.

Doing what my sponsor asked, even when I questioned his wisdom at times, taught me a valuable lesson in humility.  Sticking to his instructions every day without fail taught me a valuable lesson in self-discipline.  These bonuses were unexpected, and I didn’t realize I’d received them until it was over.  And that’s another valuable lesson:  Working on my program gives me unanticipated benefits.  I like pleasant surprises!

So many sex addicts have problems working the 12 Steps, and I was one of them.  I learned that no step has to be an intimidating mountain, not even all 12 steps together.  For me, the answer was to build my car one piece at a time, 15 minutes a day, no more, no less, no days off.  Vrooooooooom!!!!!!!!!

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Intergroup Project Updates

Retaining Newcomers

Anyone who has attended SAA groups for very long knows that some members are in for the long term, but too many others attend a few meetings and leave.  It makes sense that if someone keeps attending meetings, he or she is more likely to make progress in recovering from their sex addiction.  The Orange County Intergroup solicited suggestions from the SAA fellowship to encourage newcomers to keep returning.  The resulting list was published in the March 2015 SAA Newsletter, available elsewhere on this website.  Intergroup representatives were also given copies to distribute at their home meetings.  If you think of more ways to “keep ’em coming back,” please let us know.

Spanish-Speaking Outreach

We are unaware of any Spanish-language SAA meetings in the Orange County area.  We added a Spanish translation of the “12 & 12” to our website and are looking for a location for a Spanish-speaking meeting, most likely in Santa Ana.  We welcome your suggestions.

Internet Keyword Search Optimization

We are working toward directing certain Internet searches to our website, using key words and phrases to do so.  Examples are “massage parlor reviews” and “can’t stop watching porn.”  In addition, we are working on inserting key words into recovery stories to help addicts find our program.  Google has approved our search terms and keywords.  At a recent meeting, we approved a 30-day test run.  We will inform you of the results.

Craigslist

The responses continue to ads we placed for SAA on the Orange County Craigslist website.  Sex addicts going there to act out are being presented with an opportunity for recovery, and for some of them, it’s working!

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Announcements & Newsnotes

A Message for Sponsors

We suggest you consider stressing to your sponsees the importance of service work such as volunteering for positions at their meetings.  Early in recovery, service work gives recovering sex addicts something to feel good about when they need it most.  Later on, it becomes Step 12 work, a very healthy activity and again a builder of self-esteem.  Some sponsors we know feel so strongly about it that they advise their sponsees either to fill a service position or find another sponsor!

Intergroup Vacancies

Our Intergroup has four vacant positions and a need for website contributors.  These are great opportunities to be of service, and they generally require little or no special expertise.

►  The Vice Chair works with the Chair to coordinate the Intergroup’s overall activities such as preparing the monthly agenda and helping with surveys.  It’s estimated that Vice Chair duties take about 2-4 hours per month, plus the monthly Intergroup meeting.

►  The Inreach Coordinator handles Intergroup activities involving the existing SAA framework, as opposed to Outreach, which works to bring in newcomers.  The Inreach Coordinator’s duties require two (sometimes more) hours per month, plus the monthly Intergroup meeting.

►  The Vice Treasurer works with the Treasurer to manage Intergroup funds.  The duties generally occupy minimal time – just an hour most months.  Attendance at the monthly Intergroup meeting is encouraged.  This position requires one year of abstinence.

►  The Parliamentarian keeps order in the monthly Intergroup meetings (according to Robert’s Rules of Order, but detailed knowledge is unnecessary) and also leads a short discussion about one of the 12 Traditions each month.

►  We are looking for website contributors of any kind, including those who are willing to learn.

If you are interested in any of these positions and want to learn more, please contact Ron R. at ocisaa.chair@gmail.com.  Or, you may attend the next monthly Intergroup meeting on May 14.

Needed:  Intergroup Representatives

If your meeting still lacks an Intergroup rep, please tell your secretary that you need one.  For more information, contact us at ocisaa.inreach@gmail.com.  We highly recommend you find someone to fill this service position.  We also suggest if possible, that your group allocate a percentage of its donations to the Intergroup for its activities, which benefit all SAA groups in the region.

Thanks for Your Donations!

We are grateful for the support we receive from the Orange County area SAA meetings.  As you can see from our activities listed in this newsletter, we are putting your donations to good use.  We encourage you to attend our monthly meetings and voice your ideas.

A Note to Event Promoters and Organizers: For those requesting announcements to run in our newsletter, please use the following format – and order – as much as possible:
Who: Are you a committee (of the Intergroup, for example), or an individual SAA meeting group, or another type of organization or individual?
What: Is this a workshop, breakfast, retreat, or another type of event?
Title: What is the name of your event?
When: Give the date and starting and ending times of your event.
Cost: What – if anything – is the suggested contribution, or is it a set fee, or is no one turned away for lack of funds?
Description: In a sentence, or several sentences, say what is unique or especially appealing about your event.
Where: Event address, along with any cross-street info or parking tips you think are important.
More Info: Whom to call for more information?  List a telephone number, email address, and/or website.
Please give us as much lead time as possible, and note that submissions are subject to editing for clarity and space.

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SAA Meeting News

New Meetings:

Wednesday, 5:00-6:00pm
Closed, men only
1900 E. 4th St., Conference Room 2A, Santa Ana 92705
Free parking in structure
Contact Frank P. (949) 842-3454

Thursday, 7:00-8:00 p.m.
Closed, men only
707 E. Chapman, Orange 92866
Building is close to Orange Traffic Circle, white with green trim, no suite number; parking lot adjacent to building
Contact Chris B. (949) 278-3642

Friday, noon-1:00 p.m.
Closed, men only
St. Matthew’s Church
1111 W. Town & Country Rd., Unit 14, Orange 92868
In the Town & Country Business Center North (look for “Gondola Subs”), around the back
Contact Casey (323) 375-7322

Tuesday, 7:00-8:30 p.m.
Closed, mixed
Book study/Check-in
First Southern Baptist Church, Dining Room
6801 Western Ave., Buena Park, CA 90621 (just north of Orangethorpe Ave.)
Contact Maurice B. (714) 683-8663/motrago@hotmail.com

Changes:

The Monday evening women’s book study meeting has relocated.  Please call 714-485-3655 or email womeninsaa@gmail.com for more details.

The Tuesday morning 6:30 a.m. meeting at the First Methodist Church in Costa Mesa has been canceled.

The Friday morning meeting at the Alano Club has been canceled.

The Monday and Friday Long Beach meetings are no longer at Kaiser Permanente, 3900 E. Pacific Coast Hwy., Long Beach.  The new meeting times and locations are:
—Monday, 7:30-8:30 pm, Mixed/Closed/Step/Tradition/Topic
Unitarian Church, 5450 Atherton St., Long Beach (just West of Bellflower Blvd.), in the Chalice Room
Contact Carole B., 562-841-4348, or e-mail CAROLEMARY@NETZERO.COM
Friday, 6:30-7:30 pm, Mixed/Closed/Step/Tradition/Topic
Unitarian Church, 5450 Atherton St., Long Beach (just West of Bellflower Blvd.), in the Chalice Room
Contact Carole B., 562-841-4348, or e-mail CAROLEMARY@NETZERO.COM

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Orange County Intergroup Officers and Committee Chairs

Our leaders are but trusted servants; they do not govern. — Tradition 2

Chair: Ron R., ocisaa.chair@gmail.com
Vice Chair: Vacant, ocisaa.vicechair@gmail.com
Digital Communications: Neal B., ocisaa.digicom1@gmail.com (Assistant: Reza B., ocisaa.digicom2@gmail.com)
Inreach: Vacant, ocisaa.inreach@gmail.com
Outreach: Maurice B., ocisaa.outreach@gmail.com
Literature: Ron C., ocisaa.literature@gmail.com
Treasurer: Brian A. (Vice Treasurer: Vacant), ocisaa.treasurer@gmail.com
Secretary: Earl Q., ocisaa.secretary@gmail.com
Newsletter Editor:  Mike K., ocisaa.newsletter@gmail.com
Parliamentarian: Vacant

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Website

If you have ideas or suggestions for the website, please contact our Webmaster, Neal B., at ocisaa.digicom1@gmail.com.