December 2013

carry-the-messageThe purpose of our Intergroup is to more effectively reach the sex addict in the Orange County area who still suffers.  We meet the second Thursday of each month from 7:00-8:15 p.m. in the Albright Room at the First Methodist Church of Costa Mesa, 420 W. 19th St., located at the end of the 55 Freeway across from Triangle Square.  All SAA members are welcome.  If you can’t make it, meeting minutes are published on our website.  We are still a young organization and need your ideas!


In January:  Our 4th Biannual SAA Retreat!

The fourth biannual retreat sponsored by the Orange County Intergroup has been scheduled for Saturday, January 25, 2014, once more at beautiful Mariners Church in Irvine, 5001 Newport Coast Drive, on the second floor of the Life Development Building.  The program will run from 9:00 a.m. to 5:00 p.m.  These popular retreats have attracted around 70 attendees and include breakfast and lunch.  Admission costs $25, payable via PayPal or by check.  Since we are catering lunch, we would appreciate your signing up by January 20.  Please see the announcement on our website,

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My Share

Each month, we publish a personal but anonymous story of recovery.  Stories should be written in the first person (“I”); speak from your experience, strength, and hope; and be limited to approximately one typewritten page.  Please submit your story to  We may edit submissions for reasons of space, clarity, and appropriate language.  Here is this month’s story:

Physical Recovery and SAA:  Not So Different

I had major surgery almost two months ago.  I was supposed to be mostly recovered by now, but a setback delayed my recovery and made it more difficult.  Physical therapy has been lengthy and painful.  I was prescribed strong, habit-forming drugs to help with the pain.  The drugs fogged my brain, took away my appetite and gave me vivid nightmares.  I lost 20 pounds.  I’ve needed lots of help from my wife.  I became very negative and self-pitying about my recovery.

My wife told me not to be so negative.  She said I was making progress, and my negativity was counterproductive for me and hard on her.  My physical therapist also said not to be so negative.  Then we visited my doctor, who said the same thing.  My counselor suggested I make a gratitude list.  I had to admit to myself that, despite my own negative sense of reality, I might be wrong.  I had to accept the setback as part of life, and I had to start seeing the half-full glass instead of the half-empty one.

In consultation with my doctor, I decided to stop taking the addictive painkilling drugs since they seemed to be doing at least as much harm as good.  I substituted minimal over-the-counter painkillers.  In addition, I needed to decide either (1) to continue lamenting the setback, or (2) to celebrate the progress in my recovery, even though it was delayed and thus more difficult.  I chose the latter and began making a real effort to act more positively, keeping in mind especially how my negativity had affected my wife, who has provided so much care for me during this ordeal.

Within a couple of days, I began to feel better.  With the addictive drugs leaving my system, I felt more alert and my appetite improved.  The over-the-counter painkiller seemed to be as effective as the stronger ones had been.  That was something to be grateful for.  I knew that despite the setback, I really was making progress.

However, if I’m being honest, I must admit that I don’t feel positive all the time.  I can feel sorry for myself and afraid of what is still a long and painful path to full recovery.  I sometimes need to take a deep breath, talk with my Higher Power, adjust my attitude, think of my progress TODAY, review my gratitude list, and do my part in my recovery.  The rest is out of my control.

It’s easy to see the parallels between my recovery from the surgery and my recovery from sexual addiction.  I can accept who I am and my situation.  I can be grateful for what I have instead of grieving over my losses.  Although I have no control over the ultimate outcome, I can learn from others what I can do to cope with the situation today.  I can take constructive action and have faith that my Higher Power will guide me.

They say that when an SAA member goes through a hard time, the experience will improve his/her ability to help others in the program.  This has already been the case for me, and I’m grateful.  But I must admit, I’ll be even more grateful when my recovery is complete!

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Announcements & Newsnotes

Fundraiser Brunch at Brian A’s

On Sunday, December 15, Brian A hosted a brunch at his home to raise funds for the next SAA International Convention to be held over the 2014 Memorial Day weekend.  This was no ordinary brunch:  It included homemade quiches, bacon, hash browns, scrambled eggs, bagels and cream cheese, and Belgian waffles.  A total of 20 attendees from all over Southern California raised $500 for the cause.

Fundraiser BBQ at Doug C’s

On Saturday, November 16, Doug C hosted a barbecue at his home to raise funds for the SAA International Service Organization’s “Giving Thanks” campaign.  Twenty-five persons attended and contributed a total of $262.  Thanks to everyone who attended these fundraisers!

New Meeting Room for the Orange County Intergroup

The Orange County Intergroup now meets in a different room – the Albright Room – at the same church.  Turn right down the hall toward the restrooms, but keep going straight ahead into the Albright Room and greet your fellows.

A Few Intergroup Representatives Still Needed

If your meeting still lacks an Intergroup rep, please tell your secretary that you need one.  For more information, contact us at  We highly recommend you find someone to fill this service position.

A Note to Event Promoters and Organizers:  For those requesting announcements to run in our newsletter, please use the following format – and order – as much as possible:
Who:  Are you a committee (of the Intergroup, for example), or an individual SAA meeting group, or another type of organization or individual?
What:  Is this a workshop, breakfast, retreat, or another type of event?
Title:  What is the name of your event?
When:  Give the date and starting and ending times of your event.
Cost:  What is the suggested contribution, or is it a set fee, or is no one turned away for lack of funds?
Description:  In a sentence, or several sentences, say what is unique or especially appealing about your event.
Where:  Event address, along with any cross-street info or parking tips you think are important.
More Info:  Who to call for more information?  List a telephone number, email address, and/or website.
Please give us as much lead time as possible, and note that submissions are subject to editing for clarity and space.

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SAA Meeting News

New Meetings:

Sunday, 5:00-6:30 p.m.
Closed, mixed
United Methodist Church, Room 2
13000 San Antonio Dr., Norwalk, CA 90650
Contact Eli R. (714) 650-0132 or Gary H. (562) 882-0729, email

Monday, 7:00-8:00 p.m.
Women’s SAA Book Study Meeting:  reading & sharing on the SAA Green Book; general open sharing
Open to women only
Costa Mesa Alano Club, 2040 Placentia Ave., Costa Mesa
For more information call Lori, 949-444-1554

Monday, 7:00-8:30 p.m.
AA Big Book Study – bring your AA “Big Book” for this SAA meeting
Open – Mixed – Newcomers (newcomers RSVP 6:45)
Valley Alano Club, Room 107, 10980 Arrow Route, Rancho Cucamonga 91730
Across White Oak from Post Office
For more information call Dexter, 909-218-0502


New location—
Tuesday, 6:30-7:30 p.m., Mixed/Closed/Step/Tradition/Topic
Formerly held at Novus Mindful Life Institute, 6695 E. Pacific Coast Hwy, Long Beach
Moved to Our Savior’s Lutheran Church, 370 Juniper Ave., Room 104, Long Beach
South of 4th Street at Carroll Park North
Enter parking lot off Carroll Park North
For more information call 949-478-5617

Two meetings have suspended operations until a new location is found—
Monday and Wednesday, 12:00-1:00 p.m., Men Only/Open/Book Study
Formerly held at 23151 Moulton Parkway, Laguna Woods
Call Scott, 949-547-3412 for updates

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Orange County Intergroup Officers and Committee Chairs

Our leaders are but trusted servants; they do not govern. — Tradition 2

Chair:  Thomas P.,
Vice Chair:  Ron R.,
Digital Communications:  Neal B.,  (Assistant:  John R.,
Inreach:  Greg R.,
Outreach:  Steven C.,
Literature:  Ron C.,
Treasurer:  Brian A. (Vice Treasurer:  Carol M.),
Secretary:  Earl Q.,
Parliamentarian:  Mike K.

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